Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: miggy on 03 April 2008, 17:18:22
-
Came home from work, sat out the garden having a Magners
(Booked a day off work tomorrow so i can) Anyway, Rebecca (Daughter) arrives home from work, she came out the back and sat with me....2 mins pass and she says..Daaaaaad, can i go to Swansea next weekend with the girls, and stay overnight at the travel inn because we wanna go to the nightclub down there (Now Swansea is approx 60 mile from where we live)................I dont say anything for a couple of mins....then into Dad mode i go. who is driving, how old are the girls, whos going, where you going etc etc etc...she has answers for all the questions.........still in Protective dad mode, tells her i aint happy, gave my reasons.. too far away bla bla bla, usual dad stuff.you know what i mean, i said no she cannot go......I am now the big bad Dad, i get the tears and explanation of where they are going etc.
I gives in and allows her to go, preaches the rule book at her...driving on the motorway, keep your drink with you, all the usual.
No doubt you guys with daughters will know what i mean.
Rebecca is 19, sensable, but i go into protective mode when it comes to the 2 women in my life.do you guys think i was too protective, i still dont think i have done the right thing by letting her go...but what can i do....i need to let her go off now and again.. but it is very, very hard for me.
-
Its a tough call, but like you say she is a sensible girl.
Cast your mind back to when you were that age ::) and then try and see her view.
Hard i know, but i think you have done the right thing in telling her the things to look out for and letting her go.
Thats my view anyway.
-
Like you say Pete, she's a sensible girl, you've got to trust her until she gives you reason not too ;)
-
Been there many many times, no right or wrong answer, but if shes under your roof then she does as you say, end of :)
-
I've only got one child (son) who's 22 yrs old now but if i had a daughter i'd understand your worries & protective instincts. She'll always be Daddy's little angel but you have to let go sometimes. If you can strike balance between freedom & protectiveness (which you appear to have done) she'll appreciate your concern but love you for for letting her go. She should be safe if she's got a few mates with her & get home fine. :y
-
I know how you feel, however you can't wrap them in cotton wool 24/7. As you say she is a sensable girl all you can do as a parent is arm them with knowledge and let them spread there wings
-
Pete, you have done the right thing mate. She's 19 & a women.
Ok she's your girl, but you gotta let her do this.
I know it's a worry & i wouldn't sleep until she was home too.
If she's as sensible as you say then you've done right.
Rachel has two girls & one's 18 & i don't sleep right until she's home, but Rachel does, i guess it's a man thing mate :y :y :y :y
She'll be ok :y
-
You did do the right thing, I am sure you will have instilled common sense into her in the last 19 years and so its now time for her to try her own judgement.
I left home just as I turned 19 and went to Uni.....and DAM did I have a great time with some 19 year old girls.... ::) ::) ::).
But, I was always careful and so were they and at the end of the day, thats the key thing
-
I know what your going through!
You sound just like my dad when i was young.
She is 19.
You need to let go she will respect you for it. She respects you enough to came and ask you whether it is ok to go...she could have just said she was stayin round a mates house.
The best peice of advice i have heard is my dads mate tellin my dad.....
"the harder you hold on to them the more they will pull away"
God he was right dad was so protective over me i am the oldest, by the time i was 17 1/2 i had left home but he still checked up on me and when i went and stayed at theirs he would switch back to dad mode! i knew it was because he loved me and just wanted to look out for me which is great. but ............... as my mother used to say...
" you have to let them make their own mistakes and their own decisions and live their own lives as they want to...and not how you think they should.........if she wants to go out LET her and try not to give her the 3rd degree about it. shes with her mates and she can look after herself now!"
-
You did do the right thing, I am sure you will have instilled common sense into her in the last 19 years and so its now time for her to try her own judgement.
I left home just as I turned 19 and went to Uni.....and DAM did I have a great time with some 19 year old girls.... ::) ::) ::).
But, I was always careful and so were they and at the end of the day, thats the key thing
That makes me feel better......... ::)
-
Strong believer in your children are as good as the sense, morals and manners you install in them constantly from an early age. I'm sure that at 18/19 she will have took all that on board and she will make you proud.
-
Thanks for your replys, a lot of mixed comments.but i think i have done the right thing, as much as i worry.
:y :y :y
-
Thanks for your replys, a lot of mixed comments.but i think i have done the right thing, as much as i worry.
:y :y :y
Dont worry she will be fine! Shes your daughter. just keep yourself busy and enjoy the quite in the house while she has gone.
you will wonder when she gets back what you were worried about!
-
You did do the right thing, I am sure you will have instilled common sense into her in the last 19 years and so its now time for her to try her own judgement.
I left home just as I turned 19 and went to Uni.....and DAM did I have a great time with some 19 year old girls.... ::) ::) ::).
tell us more marie ::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Like you say Pete, she's a sensible girl, you've got to trust her until she gives you reason not too ;)
agreed!
i aint too much older than your daughter, mentally i'm about 15 years younger, but at 19 I think she'll appreciate you're just being protective of her and not trying to ruin her fun. you've let her go anyway, you could always ask her to text you when she gets to the hotel
think about it this way, she asked for your permission in the first place, i know of a lot of people plenty younger that go wherever and do whatever without asking their parents!! Do you know what friends she's going with? are they gonna look out for each other?
-
While I appreciate your candor, and your concern for your daughter, you have made the right decision - if you had made any other things would get so much worse.
Look at it this way... your daughter cares about and respects you enough to ask, if you try and force her to "obey" just because she lives at home .. you could end up losing her very easily.
My daughter went to University at 18, from which point on I had no control over what she did and HAD to trust her. Now 22, she now lives back at home and has total freedom, however she knows and respects the "house rules".
I know from my own childhood all about rebellion ... my father was extremely strict, sometimes just to prove he was "in charge" - I rebelled and left home - my choice - it took many years before we reconciled our differences and he learned to respect me, having always demanded I respect him.. regardless.
Please don't risk alienating your daughter - the short term "win" could end up a very long term "loss" - trust her just as she trusts you.
-
You could always offer to go with them ::)
-
You could always offer to go with them ::)
Yeah...... ;D ;D ;D just imagine that.... ;D ;D ;D
-
I could go along for you ::) ::)
-
Its a tough call, but like you say she is a sensible girl.
Cast your mind back to when you were that age ::) and then try and see her view.
Hard i know, but i think you have done the right thing in telling her the things to look out for and letting her go.
Thats my view anyway.
That might be why he is worried. ;D ;D ;D
-
ive found by trusting my kids a more and let them get on with things(as long as i know where they go) they have become a bit more respectful to me and help me more. even though they dont live with me im always worried about where they go and who there with. i guess thats being a parent.
richie
-
a difficult call and one that i will have to face one day.
You expressed your concerns about the weekend, if she is a level headed woman then she will respect your concerns and try and make sure your concerns don't come true.
As everyone here has said there comes a time when you have to let go, bit by bit, and it is difficult, she knows that you are there for her if she needs that support.
-
Its a tough call, but like you say she is a sensible girl.
Cast your mind back to when you were that age ::) and then try and see her view.
Hard i know, but i think you have done the right thing in telling her the things to look out for and letting her go.
Thats my view anyway.
Is this why you don't want her to go!!!! :) :) :)