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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:09:33

Title: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:09:33
......but when you drop off the perch which would you prefer. Cremation or burial?

After listening to a friend who has worked in the funeral industry for almost thirty years, I choose burial. :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Rog on 13 February 2013, 16:12:47
Don't care. Dead is dead.

Burial, cremation, donated to science, eaten by people who think I'm lasagne . . .

All the same . . . dead
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:14:40
Don't care. Dead is dead.

Burial, cremation, donated to science, eaten by people who think I'm lasagne . . .

All the same . . . dead

Very true. ;D ;D

Burial is more expensive but at least you don't end up in a cardbord box with any number of other people.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: aaronjb on 13 February 2013, 16:17:11
I want to be shot into space..
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lazydocker on 13 February 2013, 16:18:03
Burnt and turned into a diamond :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: albitz on 13 February 2013, 16:20:58
Probably toasted.Not that bothered as long as they make very sure Im dead before doing anything.I have a morbid fear of waking up in a coffin realising Im 6 feet under,or just about to go into a furnace. :D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:21:05
I want to be shot into space..


If only your Dad had been a little quicker with the old withdrawl technique Aaron then perhaps you could have been ::) ::) ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: aaronjb on 13 February 2013, 16:23:18
I want to be shot into space..


If only your Dad had been a little quicker with the old withdrawl technique, Aaron then perhaps you could have been ::) ::) ;D

 ;D >:( ;D ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Andy B on 13 February 2013, 16:25:44
.... but at least you don't end up in a cardbord box with any number of other people.

After cremation you get your own box and don't share it ....... I've asked my Dad in the past - he has also been in the Funerial buisness for years & years
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 16:29:59
I want to be shot into space..


If only your Dad had been a little quicker with the old withdrawl technique Aaron then perhaps you could have been ::) ::) ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:30:21
.... but at least you don't end up in a cardbord box with any number of other people.

After cremation you get your own box and don't share it ....... I've asked my Dad in the past - he has also been in the Funerial buisness for years & years

True. But your often get to share it with other people. At least, that's what I've been told.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: plym ian on 13 February 2013, 16:34:38
don't fancy being worm food I'm quite happy being stuck on mantle piece next to the carriage clock ;D

so cremation for me with that fire song playing as I go through the curtain just to give everyone a good laugh :)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 16:37:25
I told my missus to hire a skip. Then I changed it to mini skip. After some thought I told her to find someone who was doing some building work and sneak me in during the night.
I then phoned Michael Parkinson and told him where to shove his over 50,s plan.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 16:39:47
Was it your man flu that brought on this discussion, Opti?
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: omega3000 on 13 February 2013, 16:46:39
don't fancy being worm food I'm quite happy being stuck on mantle piece next to the carriage clock ;D

so cremation for me with that fire song playing as I go through the curtain just to give everyone a good laugh :)

Aye + 1  Dont want to be dropped in the sea either for fish food  :(
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:48:59
Was it your man flu that brought on this discussion, Opti?


Yes, Steve. I slipped peacefully away at 3.00 A.M yesterday morning. :)

P.S The afterlife is a shit load better than the one you're still living in. :y  Sex with beautiful girls 24/7. :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Gaffers on 13 February 2013, 16:52:22
I quite fancy being cremated and my ashes spread at sea in Hawaii, if you've ever been, met the local people and witnessed the ceremony you'll understand.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 16:55:10
When did crematoriums first appear in Britain?. I'm wondering if two world wars prompted their appearance.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Entwood on 13 February 2013, 16:56:10
I quite fancy being cremated and my ashes spread at sea in Hawaii, if you've ever been, met the local people and witnessed the ceremony you'll understand.

Yup .. a pretty colourful event and usually a good chat around dinner after, with laughter being an important ingredient :)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Rog on 13 February 2013, 17:01:34
I quite fancy being cremated and my ashes spread at sea in Hawaii, if you've ever been, met the local people and witnessed the ceremony you'll understand.

Yup .. a pretty colourful event and usually a good chat around dinner after, with laughter being an important ingredient :)

BUT . . . you wouldn't exactly be able to join in and enjoy it, well I hope not  ???
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 17:02:52
When did crematoriums first appear in Britain?. I'm wondering if two world wars prompted their appearance.
I believe the vikings first introduced it Opti  ::)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 17:09:34
When did crematoriums first appear in Britain?. I'm wondering if two world wars prompted their appearance.
I believe the vikings first introduced it Opti  ::)

Hmmm...........not exactly the answer I was looking for, Mr STMO. And besides, with all that rape and pillage they were untrustworthy foreign johnnies. :) 
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 17:12:16
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 17:14:47
When did crematoriums first appear in Britain?. I'm wondering if two world wars prompted their appearance.
I believe the vikings first introduced it Opti  ::)

Hmmm...........not exactly the answer I was looking for, Mr STMO. And besides, with all that rape and pillage they were untrustworthy foreign johnnies. :)

It was the Romans who certainly carried out both burials and cremations, with some ancient Brit tribes also using cremations, whilst other used burials, and being laid out for the birds in a sacred place. ;)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 17:15:08
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)


Lizzie. If you happen to know the engine driver, he could "add you" without anyone being any the wiser. :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Rog on 13 February 2013, 17:15:12
I know I said previously that dead is dead etc, and I don't believe in the afterlife or whatever, BUT  if I'm wrong  ??? and it actually matters . . . 

Not too far from me is a huge cemetary called Abney Park. Its full of old ivy covered, creepy and  extravagant tombs, graves, mausoleums etc. I want one of those, and I want to come out at night to scare the shite out of the living !    :y     :D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 17:16:38
I know I said previously that dead is dead etc, and I don't believe in the afterlife or whatever, BUT  if I'm wrong  ??? and it actually matters . . . 

Not too far from me is a huge cemetary called Abney Park. Its full of old ivy covered, creepy and  extravagant tombs, graves, mausoleums etc. I want one of those, and I want to come out at night to scare the shite out of the living !    :y     :D

Your body will be dead no matter what, but your spirit Opti will fly away through the veil to a far better place than here!! ;D ;D ;D :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: mantahatch on 13 February 2013, 17:16:48
Burning for me, no way am I having the local scrotes attacking a grave of mine. And I don't want anybody duty bound to attend a grave. I think t makes the grieving process worse. Also no ashes for anyone to care for, they can be dumped in the crematorium garden of rest.

I have already chosen 3 songs to be played at my cremation, First one is the Ramones, Pet Sematary, second is Rancid, Time Bomb and finally Dropkick Murphys, Forever, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkaBGz0hQKI  I find this track quite moving. It won't be to everyones liking here but all 3 songs have great meaning to me.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 February 2013, 17:17:16
When did crematoriums first appear in Britain?. I'm wondering if two world wars prompted their appearance.
I believe the vikings first introduced it Opti  ::)

Hmmm...........not exactly the answer I was looking for, Mr STMO. And besides, with all that rape and pillage they were untrustworthy foreign johnnies. :)

It was the Romans who certainly carried out both burials and cremations, with some ancient Brit tribes also using cremations, whilst other used burials, and being laid out for the birds in a sacred place. ;)


You're  right, Lizzie. But on a commercial scale I think it was probably a Victorian innovation. :-* :-*
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 17:19:40
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)


Lizzie. If you happen to know the engine driver, he could "add you" without anyone being any the wiser. :-* :-* :-*

All the ones I knew are now dead!! :o :o :o  I'll have to bribe make an offer they can't refuse to a young driver  Opti.  Kevin Woods of course could always sneak me into the firebox one night if I promise my miggy to him in my will! :D :D :D :D 8) 8)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: ozzycat on 13 February 2013, 17:19:48
aint gona happen to me cos i aint gona die ;D ;D ;D ;D well if i do i want to push up the daisys ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Rog on 13 February 2013, 17:26:10
I have already chosen 3 songs to be played at my cremation, First one is the Ramones, Pet Sematary, second is Rancid, Time Bomb and finally Dropkick Murphys, Forever, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkaBGz0hQKI  I find this track quite moving. It won't be to everyones liking here but all 3 songs have great meaning to me.

Here's my outro . . . . . really, I want this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn01nSG4cvU

 :'(      :'(
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Elite Pete on 13 February 2013, 17:30:20
I spent 3 days surveying South Essex Crematorium a few years back, what I saw put me right off being toasted ::)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 17:30:49
When did crematoriums first appear in Britain?. I'm wondering if two world wars prompted their appearance.
I believe the vikings first introduced it Opti  ::)

Hmmm...........not exactly the answer I was looking for, Mr STMO. And besides, with all that rape and pillage they were untrustworthy foreign johnnies. :)

It was the Romans who certainly carried out both burials and cremations, with some ancient Brit tribes also using cremations, whilst other used burials, and being laid out for the birds in a sacred place. ;)


You're  right, Lizzie. But on a commercial scale I think it was probably a Victorian innovation. :-* :-*

Oh no Opti, the Romans had commercial cremations, as the Romans did nothing for free, with major pyres constructed at a price for their generals who died in battle. Even common Romans were dispatched with some ceremony by their form of undertakers. ;)  However, cremations for the Romans, and many Christians fell into decline as the belief in an afterlife considered you had to go with your complete body.  People who the Romans considered enemies were either fed to the lions or burnt to death. That really transpired in the latter half of the fourth, beginning of the fifth century as the Western Roman Empire started to collapse.  You are then correct Opti that it really was the Victorians in Britain that reintroduced the cremation process.  :y :y :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Selseybill on 13 February 2013, 17:31:01
You could always be frozen. After 6 heart attacks,2 bypasses, ive knocked on the pearly gates a few times and the bugger still won't let me in. When i do go the wife is going to put me in a box and send me with Yodel so i can travel the world and find all the lost packages they lost for me.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: mantahatch on 13 February 2013, 17:33:56
I have already chosen 3 songs to be played at my cremation, First one is the Ramones, Pet Sematary, second is Rancid, Time Bomb and finally Dropkick Murphys, Forever, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkaBGz0hQKI  I find this track quite moving. It won't be to everyones liking here but all 3 songs have great meaning to me.

Here's my outro . . . . . really, I want this one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn01nSG4cvU

 :'(      :'(




Cool  8)

I attended my first non religious cremation about 5 years ago, In a strange way I enjoyed it. All the guests where told to wear what they wanted, "no suits"  :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: paul.lovejoy on 13 February 2013, 18:16:04
I want to be shot into space..


If only your Dad had been a little quicker with the old withdrawl technique Aaron then perhaps you could have been ::) ::) ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D tears are rolling down my face cant stop laughing thanks MR O excellent :y :y :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: paul.lovejoy on 13 February 2013, 18:19:08
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)

something simple then Lizzie :o ;D ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: PhilRich on 13 February 2013, 18:24:13
Burnt and turned into a diamond :y
[/highlight]






You're a Diamond already Paul! :-* ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 18:24:24
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)

something simple then Lizzie :o ;D ;D

Oh yes, very straightforward.......................especially for me as I will be dead! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 18:24:48
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)
And as the train steamed past, people would be saying "For some reason I suddenly fancy a kebab".
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: paul.lovejoy on 13 February 2013, 18:26:38
i just want to get my house finished before i pop my clogs could rest in peace then maybe

i would prefer burial seriously wifey could plant a nice rose bush out my bottom and for once it would smell of roses.

Burial is good you have somewhere you can go to pay your respects etc burning to me seems so final
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 February 2013, 18:31:43
I am a strange women on this one! ::) ::) ::) ::)

Cremation for sure.....................but there would be nothing better than my body being placed in the firebox of West Country Pacific 34016 Bodmin on the Mid Hants Railway and whilst running up to Alton my ashes allowed to be blasted up the chimney whilst pulling a train of Pullman coaches! :y :y :y :y :y :y :y

Of course the authorities will never allow it (mean barstwards!!), so I must come up with a cunning plan! ;) ;)
And as the train steamed past, people would be saying "For some reason I suddenly fancy a kebab".

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Rods2 on 13 February 2013, 18:42:04
Burial for me, in Ukraine where it is normal to have a picture of the person on the gravestone. That to me makes it much more personal, where you can relate the name to a real person.  :y :y :y

Cremation to me is to impersonal and there is nothing left except dust, at least with a burial there will be some bones for a future generation to dig up!  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: hotel21 on 13 February 2013, 18:57:38
Big burning fire for me then ashes into a rocket/firework to be launched from the top of my favourite nearby hill that my hound and I walk regularly. And you can see pretty much all of fife and a fair part of beyond from the top as well as the river forth, Edinburgh and the highlands, dependant on the direction.  :)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: paul.lovejoy on 13 February 2013, 19:02:06
Burial for me, in Ukraine where it is normal to have a picture of the person on the gravestone. That to me makes it much more personal, where you can relate the name to a real person.  :y :y :y

Cremation to me is to impersonal and there is nothing left except dust, at least with a burial there will be some bones for a future generation to dig up!  ;D ;D ;D

my thoughts exactly and with advances in dna etc you could be back on your feet in no time and finish paying off the mortgage and another 40 odd years at work  :y :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Webby the Bear on 13 February 2013, 19:03:19
i hate the thought of being burned. i know you're dead so what does it matter, blah blah blah but i'd choose burial  :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: ted_one on 13 February 2013, 19:17:17
The missus is going to keep the cost down by sticking me in the compost bin for a couple of years,then spread the useful bits around the plants when ready and then chuck the other bits over the back fence :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 19:25:07
Pretty soon we won't have a choice. Land is for building things on, not stuffing with dead meat.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Abiton on 13 February 2013, 19:29:38
Findus?


 :)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 19:30:30
Findus?


 :)
Soylent green.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Abiton on 13 February 2013, 19:39:06
Findus?


 :)
Soylent green.

You talking about my knob-rot?  :D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 13 February 2013, 19:40:58
Findus?


 :)
Soylent green.

You talking about my knob-rot?  :D
An old film with Edward G and Charlton Heston. Google it. Even watch it.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: scimmy_man on 13 February 2013, 19:52:16
I have always said, strip me for spare parts, heart lungs eyes etc, and bin the rest, I wont care,

she says she will cremate me,
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: PhilRich on 13 February 2013, 20:13:17
Ah yes, human 'Pattern' parts :D Methinks that subject is worth it's own thread ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Vamps on 13 February 2013, 21:55:04
Probably toasted.Not that bothered as long as they make very sure Im dead before doing anything.I have a morbid fear of waking up in a coffin realising Im 6 feet under,or just about to go into a furnace. :D

+1 with the coffin, I think I watched too many old black and white horror films when I was a kid..... :D :D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Andy B on 13 February 2013, 22:05:33
.....
True. But your often get to share it with other people. At least, that's what I've been told.

Not true
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: albitz on 13 February 2013, 22:08:06
News reports emerge every once in a while about people who wake up in a morgue.Makes you wonder how many wake up after they have been in the morgue.I believe theres a medical condition where the heart rate slows to very few bpm,and the patient to all intents & purposes appears to be dead for quite a while until the heart kicks itself back into its normal rythym.
Also read reports of old graveyards being removed and coffin lids having hands pressed against them with scratch marks on the inside.
May be just an urban myth though.Wouldnt want to find out the hard way personally.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: omega3000 on 13 February 2013, 22:18:23
Probably toasted.Not that bothered as long as they make very sure Im dead before doing anything.I have a morbid fear of waking up in a coffin realising Im 6 feet under,or just about to go into a furnace. :D

+1 with the coffin, I think I watched too many old black and white horror films when I was a kid..... :D :D

You'l be ok just keep out of the sun mate(http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz226/MizzGMC/Emote/smilie_vampire.gif)   

                                                                     ::)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: b4ndit on 13 February 2013, 22:20:29
being buried at sea :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: OmegaAnglesey on 13 February 2013, 22:26:04
Dead is dead not really bothered. But I would like to be driven to my final resting place in an Omega hearse. Should be a few Omega hearses still in service for many more years.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 14 February 2013, 15:56:04
For those who like the idea of burial, with your body left in peace, just remember that:

1.  Many cemeteries of the past have been dug up, with the bones either dumped in one place or jumbled up and placed in a church crypt if they are lucky.

2.  Archaeologists will come along eventually and uncover your bones, study them, take photographs,   then lift them, placing the bits in a box, and store them for future research.

3.  The most likely thing that will happen is your bones will dissolve away, especially in acidic soil, and all traces of you will vanish.

However, never forget whatever you choose, that your soul will fly away upon death and your body is just another piece of rubbish whose atoms must be re-used somewhere in a galaxy, far, far away! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 14 February 2013, 15:57:55
Archaeologists? More likely Persimmon.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 14 February 2013, 15:59:40
Archaeologists? More likely Persimmon.

Or whoever builds HS2! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Auto Addict on 14 February 2013, 16:26:43
I went to a funeral last week, the bloke who died had prepared his own invitations, only ommiting the date for his kids to fill in.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 14 February 2013, 16:28:06
I went to a funeral last week, the bloke who died had prepared his own invitations, only ommiting the date for his kids to fill in.

Now that is efficiency! :y :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Auto Addict on 14 February 2013, 16:35:42
I went to a funeral last week, the bloke who died had prepared his own invitations, only ommiting the date for his kids to fill in.

Now that is efficiency! :y :y

He even wrote a poem to be read out.

Nice bloke, when he was alive.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 14 February 2013, 16:52:10
I went to a funeral last week, the bloke who died had prepared his own invitations, only ommiting the date for his kids to fill in.

Now that is efficiency! :y :y

He even wrote a poem to be read out.

Nice bloke, when he was alive.

Yes, I want that.

My poem is the classic by Mary Elizabeth (my names sake) Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

 :y :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: albitz on 14 February 2013, 17:15:46
I went to a funeral last week, the bloke who died had prepared his own invitations, only ommiting the date for his kids to fill in.

I quite like that idea.Theres quite a list of people who may well turn up at my funeral who I really wouldnt want to be there.
There is also a short list of people who I would like to be there,but in all probability none of them will turn up,so it will probably be just me and the vicar. ;D ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: omega3000 on 14 February 2013, 17:23:23
News reports emerge every once in a while about people who wake up in a morgue.Makes you wonder how many wake up after they have been in the morgue.I believe theres a medical condition where the heart rate slows to very few bpm,and the patient to all intents & purposes appears to be dead for quite a while until the heart kicks itself back into its normal rythym.
Also read reports of old graveyards being removed and coffin lids having hands pressed against them with scratch marks on the inside.
May be just an urban myth though.Wouldnt want to find out the hard way personally.

 :o :o :o :(
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 14 February 2013, 17:27:53
News reports emerge every once in a while about people who wake up in a morgue.Makes you wonder how many wake up after they have been in the morgue.I believe theres a medical condition where the heart rate slows to very few bpm,and the patient to all intents & purposes appears to be dead for quite a while until the heart kicks itself back into its normal rythym.
Also read reports of old graveyards being removed and coffin lids having hands pressed against them with scratch marks on the inside.
May be just an urban myth though.Wouldnt want to find out the hard way personally.

 :o :o :o :(

Indeed, it is true and in the past gave rise to stories about the living dead and vampires.  The one thing is though that I believe the oxygen would quickly run out in the buried coffin.

Still rather scary though :o :o :o
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 February 2013, 17:32:36
.....
True. But your often get to share it with other people. At least, that's what I've been told.

Not true


Hmmm.....that's not what I hear, Andy.

My information is this. In the interest of time, and economy all the coffin's are sent through the furnace at the end of each day. They travel through one at a time as there is no room for more than one. Once cooled, all the ashes are put into the appropriate boxes. Obviously, by this time all the ashes are now mixed together. Some crematoriums will be more respectful than others and not all will allow this practice, but many will. The undertakers are unlikely to shout about this from the rooftops.

Only repeating what I've been told from someone who has been in the thick of it for many years. :y :y ;)

 
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: albitz on 14 February 2013, 17:34:06
Iirc (in victorian times ?) they used to have a length of string coming up through the ground from the coffin attached to a bell,in case the deceased woke up after they had been buried.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 14 February 2013, 17:35:41
Iirc (in victorian times ?) they used to have a length of string coming up through the ground from the coffin attached to a bell,in case the deceased woke up after they had been buried.
Yup. Trouble was, no one was around to hear it before the oxygen ran out. Quite a few found with snapped strings I believe. ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 February 2013, 17:37:31
Iirc (in victorian times ?) they used to have a length of string coming up through the ground from the coffin attached to a bell,in case the deceased woke up after they had been buried.


Yes. There were quite a few mistakes back then......not so many today, mainly due to the march of technology. :y
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: albitz on 14 February 2013, 17:57:23
Still not something I would want to take any chances with.I want my jugular sliced through before they bury or burn me. :D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 14 February 2013, 17:59:55
Still not something I would want to take any chances with.I want my jugular sliced through before they bury or burn me. :D

They say a stake through the heart is better! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 14 February 2013, 18:02:01
Still not something I would want to take any chances with.I want my jugular sliced through before they bury or burn me. :D

PM me your address Albs.
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Rods2 on 14 February 2013, 18:06:48
How long will it be before human remains are found in value ready meals and burgers or are they keeping quiet on that?  ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 14 February 2013, 18:09:04
If you have an autopsy, there will be a lot more than your jugular sliced through....  ::)
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: STMO123 on 14 February 2013, 18:09:35
How long will it be before human remains are found in value ready meals and burgers or are they keeping quiet on that?  ::) ::) ::)
I got a toenail in my pickled gherkins once. Does that count? ;D
Title: Re: It's not my intention to be morbid......
Post by: albitz on 14 February 2013, 18:30:28
Still not something I would want to take any chances with.I want my jugular sliced through before they bury or burn me. :D

PM me your address Albs.

Dont you have it ? I have yours. :P