Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Nickbat on 10 March 2013, 14:27:53
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Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons,forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
;)
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;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D :y
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Excellent!
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Yup..nail on head :y
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Brilliant. :y ;D
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Nothing new there. ;D
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Excellent, I wonder who thought that up........ :D :D :D :D
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pretty sure David Cameron is a member on here, as he still uses his government issue Omega, perhaps we should remove this thread, just so we dont upset the little Gobsh**e
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Bang on :y ;D ;D ;D
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Reliable sources inform us that Oxford University researchers will report in a very few years that both governmentium and administratium, if not continuously catalysed by a sufficiency of money, and if not allowed to circulate around the globe on subsidised freebies degrade after a short half-life into a parasitic pseudo-element known as consultantium.
Consultantium appears to be attracted to isolated clusters of its parent element (local governmentium) saturated with inert morons and discarded pillocks which normally sustain each other by a mutual exchange of meaningless paperwork (bureaucraticum).
When called upon to do useful work the morons and pillocks go into a panic-striken tailspin and throw off vast amounts of money which is channelled (via spin-doctors) into the maws of the consultantium network which provides soothing policy documents, spurious targets and futile outcomes in return.
(Harrow council just spent £18million on consultants in as many months, and is now 'saving' money by forcing the closure of the Citizens Advice Bureau)