Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Debs. on 25 May 2008, 20:35:03

Title: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Debs. on 25 May 2008, 20:35:03
`Just reading another thread about an OOF`ers girlfriend`s actions.
Now, I`m musing over what a poor design 'blokes-bits' are; all that critically-sensitive, non-redundant equipment dangling 'out in the breeze' (metaphorically speaking) not even a roll-cage or even much padding to protect it!  :o

And what joker decided to connect the 'coin-purse' to the back of a man`s eyelids and his voice-box....`ever seen how wide a blokes eyes get and how rapidly he loses the powers of speech when his man-tech. dept. suffers a blow?  ::)

I mean, the equipment`s in the right place and seems to work ok [size=9](if a little quickly sometimes ::))[/size] but it`s the aspects of the design and Health and Safety issues that seem dodgy.

Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: VXL V6 on 25 May 2008, 20:37:35
ah but did you know that one side of the dangly bits dangles lower than the other so it can take any 'damaging impact' and the other will survive.... Mother nature wasn't daft...

Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 25 May 2008, 20:39:30
would you really have them any other way debs ? :D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Debs. on 25 May 2008, 20:42:27
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ah but did you know that one side of the dangly bits dangles lower than the other so it can take any 'damaging impact' and the other will survive.... Mother nature wasn't daft...

The Sacrificial Testicle Principle......one dies `that the other may live to procreate another day!  ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: waspy on 25 May 2008, 20:43:47
Uhmmm & you women moan about your monthly etc. I tell you sumat Debs you wana try having these parts attached to you. Sitting down, sport activities & so many more are uncomfortable. Crossing of legs is a NO NO.
Mother Nature got it very wrong  :'(
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: VXL V6 on 25 May 2008, 20:50:31
Betty Swallocks......
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 25 May 2008, 20:52:03
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Betty Swallocks......
followed by ...technical itch   ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: HolyCount on 25 May 2008, 20:54:19
and what about the design of women ?  Surely they should have some sort of trap door or velcro fastening to aid childbirth -- or lay eggs !!!

Whoever designed the human frame was either drunk or just messing !!!!
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Kevin Wood on 25 May 2008, 20:56:42
It's a bit like an air conditioning condenser. Delicate. Nasty consequences of damage but needs to stay cool so the only option is for it to be dangling in the passing airflow.

Kevin
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Lazydocker on 25 May 2008, 21:20:02
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It's a bit like an air conditioning condenser. Delicate. Nasty consequences of damage but needs to stay cool so the only option is for it to be dangling in the passing airflow.

Kevin

That's got to be one of the best analogies I have ever heard!!
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Martin_1962 on 25 May 2008, 21:25:13
Design - testicles need to be kept at a lower temperature than the body, hence external.

Trouble giving birth - that is our problem for having large brains. IT is not a design flaw but a limit to our body design.

Bigger heads would get stopped due to dying at birth
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Elite Pete on 25 May 2008, 21:44:54
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`Just reading another thread about an OOF`ers girlfriend`s actions.
Now, I`m musing over what a poor design 'blokes-bits' are; all that critically-sensitive, non-redundant equipment dangling 'out in the breeze' (metaphorically speaking) not even a roll-cage or even much padding to protect it!  :o

And what joker decided to connect the 'coin-purse' to the back of a man`s eyelids and his voice-box....`ever seen how wide a blokes eyes get and how rapidly he loses the powers of speech when his man-tech. dept. suffers a blow?  ::)

I mean, the equipment`s in the right place and seems to work ok [size=9](if a little quickly sometimes ::))[/size] but it`s the aspects of the design and Health and Safety issues that seem dodgy.

Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D
The only outing mine gets, is to stir my cuppa ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: dad1uk on 25 May 2008, 21:50:19
Debs! ? !?! !? ?!?!?!?!?
I am very concerned about your knowledge of the subject.
You haven't been violent towards the male anatomy before have you?
and you look so sweet in the photo! lol ::)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Debs. on 25 May 2008, 22:22:50
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Debs! ? !?! !? ?!?!?!?!?
I am very concerned about your knowledge of the subject.
You haven't been violent towards the male anatomy before have you?
and you look so sweet in the photo! lol ::)

 [smiley=engel017.gif]Li`l old me?....no injurious intent I can assure` :y, just looking from an 'engineering' perspective! [smiley=engel017.gif]
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Omegaani on 25 May 2008, 23:54:42
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Whoever designed the human frame was either drunk or just messing !!!!

There's a strong argument indicating the designer was a Royal Naval architect. Only such a person would think it reasonable to have a combined location for recreation and waste disposal.
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: amigov6 on 25 May 2008, 23:59:38
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Betty Swallocks......
Netty swickers....
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: davlad22 on 26 May 2008, 00:15:55
You jealous Debs?
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 26 May 2008, 14:58:45
why would any woman be jealous of mens dangly bits?? ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 26 May 2008, 15:22:55
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why would any woman be jealous of mens dangly bits?? ::) ::) ::)

hours of endless fun can be had with dangly things..... :y
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jimbob on 26 May 2008, 15:48:56
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why would any woman be jealous of mens dangly bits?? ::) ::) ::)

hours of endless fun can be had with dangly things..... :y


and she does  :D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Debs. on 26 May 2008, 16:12:21
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...hours of endless fun can be had with dangly things..... :y

:y Yup, `always enjoyed my YoYo and playing Conkers! ::)

;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 26 May 2008, 16:17:02
lol! always wondered what they were for! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Richie London on 26 May 2008, 16:39:51
you watch women drool when they see yer meat and veg come out the oven.  ;) ;) ;D ;D ;D ;D

richie
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 26 May 2008, 21:46:46
would that be the same oven we keep buns in? ;D

or are we talking about sunday dinner!
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: HolyCount on 26 May 2008, 21:47:39
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would that be the same oven we keep buns in? ;D

or are we talking about sunday dinner!

Gone right off me roast now  :-?
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jimbob on 26 May 2008, 21:50:26
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would that be the same oven we keep buns in? ;D

or are we talking about sunday dinner!

Gone right off me roast now  :-?

Would that be a spit roast  ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Entwood on 26 May 2008, 21:53:12
mmm how much lower can this descend .....  :(

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: CaptainZok on 26 May 2008, 21:55:59
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mmm how much lower can this descend .....  :(

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Going off the previous track record I'd say quite a way yet.
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Richie London on 26 May 2008, 22:17:05
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Quote
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would that be the same oven we keep buns in? ;D

or are we talking about sunday dinner!

Gone right off me roast now  :-?

Would that be a spit roast  ;D

pmsl ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Biggun on 26 May 2008, 22:53:56
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out in the breeze' (metaphorically speaking) not even a roll-cage or even much padding to protect it!
Debs some don't need em ;) ;)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: jereboam on 27 May 2008, 00:29:27
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Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D

We probably don't need a Woman 2.0 - there's not a lot wrong with the current version.

Mind you, a software upgrade might be a bit overdue - they often need to be rebooted at regular intervals  :) :(  :):(
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Vamps on 27 May 2008, 00:31:23
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Quote
Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D

We probably don't need a Woman 2.0 - there's not a lot wrong with the current version.

Mind you, a software upgrade might be a bit overdue - they often need to be rebooted at regular intervals  :) :(  :):(

 ;D ;D ;D
I am just waiting till Deb's or Lizzie see this. :-X
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 09:04:13
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Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D

We probably don't need a Woman 2.0 - there's not a lot wrong with the current version.

Mind you, a software upgrade might be a bit overdue - they often need to be rebooted at regular intervals  :) :(  :):(

Any ideas what additional features you would like to see on Woman 2.0?

Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Growler on 27 May 2008, 15:31:19
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Quote
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Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D

We probably don't need a Woman 2.0 - there's not a lot wrong with the current version.

Mind you, a software upgrade might be a bit overdue - they often need to be rebooted at regular intervals  :) :(  :):(

Any ideas what additional features you would like to see on Woman 2.0?

Audio drivers could do with tweaking!! much too much whining on the current version.

 ;)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 27 May 2008, 15:35:41
All woman are perfect! ITS MEN THAT CAUSE THE OCCASIONAL FAULT!!!!
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 27 May 2008, 18:19:27
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Quote
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Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D

We probably don't need a Woman 2.0 - there's not a lot wrong with the current version.

Mind you, a software upgrade might be a bit overdue - they often need to be rebooted at regular intervals  :) :(  :):(

Any ideas what additional features you would like to see on Woman 2.0?

needs the strong tendency to interference reduced,and constant background noise eliminated..........runs for cover  :D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 18:38:36
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Quote
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Surely, when 'Man: Ver. 2.0' comes out there must be some 'down-below' improvements and design-mods. entrained.  ;D

We probably don't need a Woman 2.0 - there's not a lot wrong with the current version.

Mind you, a software upgrade might be a bit overdue - they often need to be rebooted at regular intervals  :) :(  :):(

Any ideas what additional features you would like to see on Woman 2.0?

needs the strong tendency to interference reduced,and constant background noise eliminated..........runs for cover  :D ;D ;D

a volume control would be nice, and an anti-soap firewall for those times you don't want to watch deadenders
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 27 May 2008, 18:40:52
in fact, a remote control with volume and numerous other functions on would be worth its weight in gold. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 18:41:29
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All woman are perfect! ITS MEN THAT CAUSE THE OCCASIONAL FAULT!!!!

if you are blaming the operator then we have to look towards the instruction manual, how well was that written??  ;D ;D

Men have their own manual, the help file is an audio device that is prompted by the words 'what's wrong'

Woman 1.0 the helpfile is corrupt, man asks the question and the answer is generally incorrect, maybe a firmware update would be helpful ;)   ;)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 18:44:20
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in fact, a remote control with volume and numerous other functions on would be worth its weight in gold. ;D ;D ;D

You mean like this........
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/3003/remoteformenes4.jpg)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 27 May 2008, 18:48:35
if i give you both cars,my motor bike,my tools my guitar,my left arm and my right lung,would you sell it to me ,pleeeeeease. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 18:50:08
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if i give you both cars,my motor bike,my tools my guitar,my left arm and my right lung,would you sell it to me ,pleeeeeease. ;D ;D ;D

with this remote comes responsibility though........

can you imagine the possibilities OMG  :o
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 27 May 2008, 18:58:48
We dont need a remote, we have vibrators!!!

Therefore making men surplus to requirement (except to maybe fix the car)  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jimbob on 27 May 2008, 18:59:27
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We dont need a remote, we have vibrators!!!

Therefore making men surplus to requirement (except to maybe fix the car)  ;D ;D ;D


Wondered what the buzzing downstairs was  ::)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 27 May 2008, 19:24:07
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if i give you both cars,my motor bike,my tools my guitar,my left arm and my right lung,would you sell it to me ,pleeeeeease. ;D ;D ;D

with this remote comes responsibility though........

can you imagine the possibilities OMG  :o
i have been imagining those possibilities for a looong time :y ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 27 May 2008, 19:46:36
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Quote
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if i give you both cars,my motor bike,my tools my guitar,my left arm and my right lung,would you sell it to me ,pleeeeeease. ;D ;D ;D

with this remote comes responsibility though........

can you imagine the possibilities OMG  :o
i have been imagining those possibilities for a looong time :y ;D ;D

only in your dreams! its us women who know what buttons to press! ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 27 May 2008, 19:48:52
i must confess you are correct. ;) ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 20:37:29
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Quote
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if i give you both cars,my motor bike,my tools my guitar,my left arm and my right lung,would you sell it to me ,pleeeeeease. ;D ;D ;D

with this remote comes responsibility though........

can you imagine the possibilities OMG  :o
i have been imagining those possibilities for a looong time :y ;D ;D

only in your dreams! its us women who know what buttons to press! ;D

my point about the helpfiles stands.....if the instruction manual was well written us men would know what buttons to push...

Actually i know which button makes my wife hit the ceiling  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jimbob on 27 May 2008, 21:09:42
Wiping your cock on the curtains normally works  ::)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Debs. on 27 May 2008, 21:11:30
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Wiping your cock on the curtains normally works  ::)
:o...... :-[
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 21:12:37
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Wiping your cock on the curtains normally works  ::)

i'll try that on the weekend....once she has come down from the ceiling i will advise her that you told me  ;)

She's a nice woman, i cal her 'my little pet pitbull' 4'10" and once she gets the bit between her teeth :'(
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: albitz on 27 May 2008, 21:18:30
didnt realise mrs bitz was also married to another oofer. ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Tony H on 27 May 2008, 21:26:03
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We dont need a remote, we have vibrators!!!

Therefore making men surplus to requirement (except to maybe fix the car)  ;D ;D ;D
Ah but they can't get spiders out of the bath! ::)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 27 May 2008, 21:31:36
They can be used in spider removal!

You hit the spider with it then wash it down the plug hole! :)
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: CaptainZok on 27 May 2008, 21:31:57
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We dont need a remote, we have vibrators!!!

Therefore making men surplus to requirement (except to maybe fix the car)  ;D ;D ;D
Ah but they can't get spiders out of the bath! ::)
Can't get a round in either. ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Vamps on 27 May 2008, 21:32:41
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in fact, a remote control with volume and numerous other functions on would be worth its weight in gold. ;D ;D ;D

You mean like this........
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/3003/remoteformenes4.jpg)

Do you do one for the kids as well. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jay w on 27 May 2008, 21:38:24
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Quote
Quote
in fact, a remote control with volume and numerous other functions on would be worth its weight in gold. ;D ;D ;D

You mean like this........
(http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/3003/remoteformenes4.jpg)

Do you do one for the kids as well. ;D ;D ;D

that's a work in progress
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: LJay on 27 May 2008, 21:39:00
Now that really would make money!
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Tony H on 28 May 2008, 01:13:51
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They can be used in spider removal!

You hit the spider with it then wash it down the plug hole! :)
Its bad luck to kill spiders! ;D
Title: Re: Blokey-Bits!.....
Post by: Jimbob on 28 May 2008, 07:57:08
Beleive me, round here its even worse luck not to get rid of em  ::)