Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Omegatoy on 12 June 2008, 21:32:44
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best short joke this year ...
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied
:y
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:y :y :y
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Must be all that sun you are getting :P
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How observant and spot on!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Shortest joke I know is ... my boss ::)
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Shortest joke I know is ... my boss ::)
;D ;D ;D ;D
A man walks into a bar - ouch ;D
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Shortest joke I know is ... my boss ::)
;D ;D ;D ;D
A man walks into a bar - ouch ;D
That's one of the late Tommy Cooper jokes; a classic!
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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Gordon Brown.
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Gordon Brown.
Sad, but true! ;)
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our local flasher is not retiring this year- hes decided to stick it out for another year !!!!! ;D ;D ;D
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(http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x66/golfbuddy_photos/ComradeBrown.jpg)
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brill ;)
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(http://i183.photobucket.com/albums/x66/golfbuddy_photos/ComradeBrown.jpg)
so very true ;D ;D ;D
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FWD
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jimmy krankie :-[
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to you to me to you to me to you to me,
chuckle bros, love em ::) ::)
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Oi! >:( >:( >:(
I find all these short jokes deeply offensive. Shortist humour is as unacceptable as racist humour in the 21st century.
Pick on someone else - slapheads, for example. :( :( :(
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horse walks into a bar and asks for a pint
the barman says 'why the long face?'
a bear walks in not long after and says 'can i have a pint................................................................................................................................and a packet of scratchings, please'
the barman says ' why the big pause (paws)
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Cool!! :) :) :) :) :)
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Oi! >:( >:( >:(
I find all these short jokes deeply offensive. Shortist humour is as unacceptable as racist humour in the 21st century.
i think you will find that it is you who is the shortist ;)
Pick on someone else - slapheads, for example. :( :( :(
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FWD
just spilt me beer over the keyboard when i realised just how true that is!!!!
nice one martin!!! :y
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FWD
just spilt me beer over the keyboard when i realised just how true that is!!!!
nice one martin!!! :y
Even my hot hatch was RWD ;D
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FWD
just spilt me beer over the keyboard when i realised just how true that is!!!!
nice one martin!!! :y
Even my hot hatch was RWD ;D
yep mine too Opel kadett :y and so may i point out was my 3 wheeler!!!the good old bond bug!!! people used to really get upset
when i had it sideways!!! :y
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FWD
just spilt me beer over the keyboard when i realised just how true that is!!!!
nice one martin!!! :y
Even my hot hatch was RWD ;D
yep mine too Opel kadett :y and so may i point out was my 3 wheeler!!!the good old bond bug!!! people used to really get upset
when i had it sideways!!! :y
I had a Sunbeam - a brilliant little car
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FWD
just spilt me beer over the keyboard when i realised just how true that is!!!!
nice one martin!!! :y
Even my hot hatch was RWD ;D
yep mine too Opel kadett :y and so may i point out was my 3 wheeler!!!the good old bond bug!!! people used to really get upset
when i had it sideways!!! :y
I had a Sunbeam - a brilliant little car
Well I had a Mini, FWD, like a gokart on rails. ;D ;D ;D
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Man goes to doctor, moves his arm up & down & says "It hurts when i do that" Doctor replies " do'nt do it then"!!!
Tommy Cooper again! ;D 8-)
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i can do shorter than FWD
\
U.S.
(or indeed, these days, UK)
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:-? :-[
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Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide.. Ahem, sorry.
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took mywife out last night,
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one punch was enough
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Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide.. Ahem, sorry.
(http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj182/richierich1961/smilies-4611.png)
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i can do shorter than FWD
\
U.S.
(or indeed, these days, UK)
My wife says: Wanna step outside? >:(
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What do you call a donkey with one eye...........winkey
What do you call a donkey with one eye and three legs.....winkey wonkey
I am off now.
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Woman walks into a Bar & asks for a double entendre.....................so the Barman gives her one
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A White Horse goes into a bar. The barman says, "We have a Whiskey named after you." The horse replies,"What; Brian?" ::)
Q:What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach have for lunch?
A: Half an hour, same as everyone else. :-[
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Q: What do you call an unmarried moth?
A: A myth! ;D
Oh, I see my coat--------------> here, by the door! ::)
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What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1987 World Hide and Seek Champion.
::) ::) ::)
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What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1987 World Hide and Seek Champion.
::) ::) ::)
;D Cheeky! ;D
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Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry
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;D ;D ;D
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A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can.
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2 nuns in a bath
one says "wheres the soap?"
The other one says"Yes it does doesn't it"
What do you call a man in a bush,who has no arms and no legs?
Russel
What do you say to a man with no arms and no legs and your watch has stopped...........................
Have you got the time on you ,cock?
Ana long joke
2 nuns driving thru Transylvania,all of a sudden Dracula lands on the bonnet.
Nun driving starts swerving across the road,braking hard and speeding up trying to shake him off.All to no avail.
Nun turns to passenger nun and says"Show him your cross"
Passenger nun winds down window,andshouts"Get off the rather bonnet you barstard"
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Why are pirates pirates?
Cos they aaaarrrrgggghhh!
What do you call a monkey making toast and cheese?
A gorilla!
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A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can.
love it ;D ;D ;D now that was the best joke i have read in ages :y
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Q. What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It's arse!
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A scarecrow won an award last week for being out standing in his field
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Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A. Mega-saur-ass
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Lots of funnies there guys wiping tears from eyes at mo
:y
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Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. A fsh
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A horse walks into a bar, the barman says "Why the long face!" 8-)
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I know where there is a budgie going cheap ;)
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heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee blblblooooodddyyyy tthhiinngg ooffff.
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heello, iss tthhatt thhee sshhoop iii boouugghht thhee vviibbrrattorr ffrroomm. yes. ccaann yyoouu tteell mmee hhooww ttoo ttuurrnn tthhee blblblooooodddyyyy tthhiinngg ooffff.
Superb!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :)
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Never laughed so much in my life! ;D ;D ;D
Got to tell my mates some of them! :y
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What do you call a lesbian dinosaur
A lickalotopis
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What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.
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GEORGE BUSH.
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What did the left nut say to the right nut?
The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard!
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A White Horse goes into a bar. The barman says, "We have a Whiskey named after you." The horse replies,"What; Brian?" ::)
Q:What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach have for lunch?
A: Half an hour, same as everyone else. :-[
continuing the peter kay theme....
"William Shakespeare walks into a pub,
the landlord says: "Get out.... you're barred!!"
if you need that one xplaining, just watch Mr Kay live at the top of blackpool tower. a genius of comedy DVD.
DUNK ME!!!
or just read on
landlord could also say . "Get out, ya bard!"
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A White Horse goes into a bar. The barman says, "We have a Whiskey named after you." The horse replies,"What; Brian?" ::)
Q:What do the donkeys on Blackpool beach have for lunch?
A: Half an hour, same as everyone else. :-[
continuing the peter kay theme....
"William Shakespeare walks into a pub,
the landlord says: "Get out.... you're barred!!"
if you need that one xplaining, just watch Mr Kay live at the top of blackpool tower. a genius of comedy DVD.
DUNK ME!!!
or just read on
landlord could also say . "Get out, ya bard!"
Like that one better! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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The fight we had last night was my fault,
my wife asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.
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hear about the bloke who told his kids gobstoppers were pregnant smarties and they refused to eat them!!!
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I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
And he said, 'no bet, the steaks are too high.'
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Little boy, dressed in his cowboy outfit, asks for an ice cream cone from the van. Ice cream man asks "Do you want crushed nuts?".
The lad quickly draws his pistol and, aiming it right at the guy says, "Do you want your head blown off!!??"
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FWD
just spilt me beer over the keyboard when i realised just how true that is!!!!
nice one martin!!! :y
Even my hot hatch was RWD ;D
yep mine too Opel kadett :y and so may i point out was my 3 wheeler!!!the good old bond bug!!! people used to really get upset
when i had it sideways!!! :y
I had a Sunbeam - a brilliant little car
i saw one of them down caslte coombe, fast f*****s, made me wanna go out and buy one :) :y