Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Mr Skrunts on 01 July 2008, 14:41:25
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Q: How do farmers find their sheep in long grass?
A: Very satisfying.
Q: What do you call 4 sheep tied to a lamppost?
A: A leisure center.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear zippers.
Q: When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Q: What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman?
A: Mick Jagger says, "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!"
The Scotsman says, "Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe!"
Q: How do you get a sheep to push harder?
A: Face it toward a cliff.
Q: Why do the horses run so fast in New Zealand?
A: Because they know what's done to the sheep!
Q: Did you hear about the shepherd who committed suicide?
A: He heard the song, "There'll Never Be Another Ewe."
Q: Did you know that they've just discovered two new uses for sheep?
A: Meat and wool.
Q: What is the smallest organ in a sheep?
A: A shepherd's tallywhacker.
Q: What's the difference between a sheep and a Yugo?
A: It's marginally less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back
of a sheep.
Q: Where does virgin wool come from?
A: Ugly sheep![/size]
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;D ;D ;D ;D You are bleeding crackers Skruntie! :y :y :y :y
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Artificial Insemination
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn." [/size]
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;D ;D ;D ;D That is a belter!!! Whats with the sheep ideation today lol ;D ;D ;D
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Baa...rilliant ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D :y
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;D ;D ;D ;D That is a belter!!! Whats with the sheep ideation today lol ;D ;D ;D
Just a pi$$ take from other threads. ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D That is a belter!!! Whats with the sheep ideation today lol ;D ;D ;D
Just a pi$$ take from other threads. ;D ;D ;D
Cool!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I worry about your sheep fascination Skruntie! Is there something you need to tell us? ;D
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Why is artificial insemination so successful?
Because there is no chance of a cock up... :y
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Why is artificial insemination so successful?
Because there is no chance of a cock up... :y
Dont even bother with the coat............ out! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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>:( Oi ewe, flock-off! ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D That is a belter!!! Whats with the sheep ideation today lol ;D ;D ;D
Just a pi$$ take from other threads. ;D ;D ;D
Cool!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1213878628/40#40
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I worry about your sheep fascination Skruntie! Is there something you need to tell us? ;D
Sommat to do with livin in the Yorkshire Dales ;D ;D
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Something for our southern oofer ;D ;D ;D
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj284/floodm_photos/SheepGay.jpg)
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Something for our southern oofer ;D ;D ;D
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj284/floodm_photos/SheepGay.jpg)
Which one,there are a few darn sarf. :-[
Talking of gayness it wil soon be the bloody pride festival soon.
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Something for our southern oofer ;D ;D ;D
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj284/floodm_photos/SheepGay.jpg)
Which one,there are a few darn sarf. :-[
Talking of gayness it wil soon be the bloody pride festival soon.
Could be any..... ;D ;D ;D though I was thinking of one in particular :y
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Something for our southern oofer ;D ;D ;D
(http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj284/floodm_photos/SheepGay.jpg)
Which one,there are a few darn sarf. :-[
Talking of gayness it wil soon be the bloody pride festival soon.
Could be any..... ;D ;D ;D though I was thinking of one in particular :y
:o