Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:27:37

Title: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:27:37
Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 24 May 2016, 17:35:10
Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

'Fookin ell'

The old boy will give you advice as soon as he returns from taking his whippet for a walk. :)
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Nick W on 24 May 2016, 17:45:52
Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

'Fookin ell'

The old boy will give you advice as soon as he returns from taking his whippet for a walk. :)


The old boy will probably send a sample of his rusty water for you to compare.
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:49:08
Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

'Fookin ell'

The old boy will give you advice as soon as he returns from taking his whippet for a walk. :)


The old boy will probably send a sample of his rusty water for you to compare.
Not again :o
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:49:22
Oh oppsit
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:49:40
Whats the chances of that  >:(
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 24 May 2016, 17:50:17
Doubt he'll be of much use to be honest TB, as I don't think he gets to the loo in time very often.  :(
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:50:39
Mrs TB! Heeeellllpppppp!
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 17:51:55
Deciding "the leak" from my unclenched cheeks had finished, I got up and flushed...   ...and its splashed. Everywhere.

'dangle berries'.
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: YZ250 on 24 May 2016, 17:52:59
Some advice needed, dear friend...

I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!


My question is, is this what its like to be old?

No. You lose the ability to clench when you get old.................. apparently.  :)


I've been clenched for the last 2hrs, so tightly that my butt cheeks ache.  I've just sat on the potty, and mostly rusty water has come out, but, oooooo, the relief!

It didn't by any chance splash on to your MV6 did it?  :-X ;)
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Crazycarzowner on 24 May 2016, 17:55:02
Well known to bung anything up!!!!  ;D ;D ;D ;D


(http://i1130.photobucket.com/albums/m530/puppy4618/Miggy/BrandK-Seal580x450%202_1.gif)
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: YZ250 on 24 May 2016, 18:03:55
Deciding "the leak" from my unclenched cheeks had finished, I got up and flushed...   ...and its splashed. Everywhere.

'dangle berries'.

Did the seat lid act as a splash-back.  ;D

The ultimate torture is a slow closing toilet seat. Your guts is churning and you watch in horror as the piggin toilet seat casually takes an eternity to lower. I've killed a few slow closures hinges by forcing it down to speed it up.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: STEMO on 24 May 2016, 18:22:27
Nowt to be worried or ashamed about, lad. It's a natural body function and a good clearout now and again does you good. Just make sure you're within jumping distance of a toilet when the urge strikes.
Keep taking the nagas  ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: STEMO on 24 May 2016, 18:24:50
An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up..... ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: TheBoy on 24 May 2016, 18:29:06
An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up..... ;D
Will I ever pass solids again?
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: STEMO on 24 May 2016, 18:30:56
An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up..... ;D
Will I ever pass solids again?
Don't worry...it will pass.......

again and again and again...... ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Elite Pete on 24 May 2016, 18:33:23
An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up..... ;D

 ;D ;D
Your a star :y :y
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: 05omegav6 on 24 May 2016, 18:56:16
An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up..... ;D
Will I ever pass solids again?
Stop being such a manmouse ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Tony H on 24 May 2016, 20:25:46
An added benefit in your case is, what with you being a fat bastard an all, you might lose a few pounds if your body doesn't have time to digest the shite you put down your neck.
Keep your chins up..... ;D
Will I ever pass solids again?

Get plenty of fiber down your neck vegetables, pulses, beans,fruit and wholemeal bread.That should thicken it up a bit  :y
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Webby the Bear on 24 May 2016, 20:26:31
the Impreza owners club I hear are all talking about how they mount their intercoolers at jaunty angles using cable ties (jdm they call it  ::)).

The omega owners on the other hand are discussing bowel movements, incontinence and how their "rusty" waste splashes up their ball bags when it falls down the loo.

Sadly I am more akin to the latter group of old coffin dodgers...  :-[
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Rods2 on 26 May 2016, 12:36:07
For a proper clear out use hospital industrialist strength laxatives. The liquid was clear at the end, ready for having a camera shoved up my jacksie. :o :o :o

The non-wimps like me forego the optional sedatives and can then watch a documentary on their intestines, including watching them take biopsy samples and a bit of blood as they removed a polyp. Fotunately, the biopsy came back all clear. :y
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 26 May 2016, 13:07:36
For a proper clear out use hospital industrialist strength laxatives. The liquid was clear at the end, ready for having a camera shoved up my jacksie. :o :o :o

The non-wimps like me forego the optional sedatives and can then watch a documentary on their intestines, including watching them take biopsy samples and a bit of blood as they removed a polyp. Fotunately, the biopsy came back all clear. :y

Good news!  :y
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: aaronjb on 26 May 2016, 13:30:10
The non-wimps like me forego the optional sedatives and can then watch a documentary on their intestines, including watching them take biopsy samples and a bit of blood as they removed a polyp. Fotunately, the biopsy came back all clear. :y

I don't remember the sedatives doing diddley for me.. I do remember the camera 'rounding the last corner' though.. didn't feel the biopsy, just the camera bumping into my insides repeatedly.. ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 26 May 2016, 13:42:53
Ah yes, I don't recall a sedative but I do recall a muscle relaxant so I didn't try and bite down onto the said NHS property as it found its way where nothing should ever go.

I also recall the barium enema and being inflated like a balloon!
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: tooleater on 26 May 2016, 16:07:03
Wimps :-X your backside is like the Blackwall tunnel by comparison to your manhood, try having a camera shoved up that. 'Now at this point it may become a little uncomfortable  sir, as the camera enters your bladder"   :( :o :o :o :'(
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Entwood on 26 May 2016, 16:14:15
Wimps :-X your backside is like the Blackwall tunnel by comparison to your manhood, try having a camera shoved up that. 'Now at this point it may become a little uncomfortable  sir, as the camera enters your bladder"   :( :o :o :o :'(

Dead easy now... technology has made the tube very much smaller than it used to be ... been having this done every year for the past 15 years ... the "old" tubes were the size of a co-ax cable ... and they really DID hurt..that was usually a general anaesthetic ... then they got a bit smaller and it was a local anaesthetic or gel, modern ones you don't even get the gel now ... just a "tweak" as it goes past the prostate ....

Picture quality has also changed a huge amount .. grainy, low quality, black & white is now high definition, full colour to the extent you can see individual veins, and the different colour of the scar tissue from previous operations .... quite fascinating really ...   :)
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: 05omegav6 on 26 May 2016, 16:30:26
Isn't morbid curiosity wonderful... ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: tooleater on 26 May 2016, 16:47:33
' you may a sudden urge to urinate when we remove the garden hose from your willy :-[
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: STEMO on 26 May 2016, 17:15:33
You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine.  ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 26 May 2016, 18:26:43
You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine.  ;D

Yes we've heard it's very slack and flaccid!  :D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: YZ250 on 26 May 2016, 19:23:05
Wimps :-X your backside is like the Blackwall tunnel by comparison to your manhood, try having a camera shoved up that. 'Now at this point it may become a little uncomfortable  sir, as the camera enters your bladder"   :( :o :o :o :'(

Dead easy now... technology has made the tube very much smaller than it used to be ... been having this done every year for the past 15 years ... the "old" tubes were the size of a co-ax cable ... and they really DID hurt..that was usually a general anaesthetic ... then they got a bit smaller and it was a local anaesthetic or gel, modern ones you don't even get the gel now ... just a "tweak" as it goes past the prostate ....

Picture quality has also changed a huge amount .. grainy, low quality, black & white is now high definition, full colour to the extent you can see individual veins, and the different colour of the scar tissue from previous operations .... quite fascinating really ...   :)

Only ever had the gel myself. Used to have a medical every three years to operate the forklifts/manitou's etc and I always failed the urine dip test due to blood in my urine. Had to go through the same rigmarole every three years and touchwood they've not found anything sinister.
I don't mind the test, it's the flames that you piss afterwards which I find uncomfortable.  :o
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Shackeng on 26 May 2016, 19:26:21
Thank you all for sharing. :-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: BazaJT on 26 May 2016, 20:08:47
Rusty water?Sounds like poor maintenance to me.Suggest checking alcohol concentration levels and adjusting upwards if necessary.Make not cure you but you'll be too bladdered to care ;D ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: 05omegav6 on 26 May 2016, 20:27:52
You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine.  ;D

Yes we've heard it's very short and flaccid!  :D
Either of those would suffice, but both is greedy ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: redelitev6 on 26 May 2016, 21:08:49
 ;) Sounds like some one protests too much , a pretty young thing in a nurses uniform shoving things up your jacksey ? people pay good money for that sort of thing  :y 
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Tony H on 26 May 2016, 21:38:36
You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine.  ;D
You braggin about the size of your manhood Steve? ;D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Lazydocker on 26 May 2016, 21:39:10
You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine.  ;D
You braggin about the size of your manhood Steve? ;D
I thought he was talking about his arsehole :D
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: 05omegav6 on 26 May 2016, 22:05:45
You could get a fickin hosepipe down mine.  ;D
You braggin about the size of your manhood Steve? ;D
I thought he was talking about his arsehole :D
110mm drain is a bloody big hose :o
Title: Re: STEMO
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 27 May 2016, 12:00:30
;) Sounds like some one protests too much , a pretty young thing in a nurses uniform shoving things up your jacksey ? people pay good money for that sort of thing  :y

I keep getting a mental image of Bernard Bresslaw. ::) ;)