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Chat Area => General Car Chat => Topic started by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 12 June 2018, 15:38:26

Title: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 12 June 2018, 15:38:26
Any idea?

I've tried normal car polish and even T Cut which is obviously more abrasive. Can still see a visible 'scar' left in the paint though. :-\
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 12 June 2018, 15:41:23
G3 followed by Autoglym resin polish followed by the extra shine top polish :y
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 12 June 2018, 15:47:39
G3 followed by Autoglym resin polish followed by the extra shine top polish :y
Ah.....I have something called G3 professional bodywork detox and G3 professional resin superwax that I've never used.

Any good, Al?
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 12 June 2018, 15:49:04
Thar do :y

I only suggest as above as that's what I tend to use :y
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 12 June 2018, 15:51:28
Also found an old tube of G3 scratch removal paste.

The G3 Detox seems to be something you mix in a bucket.......similar to car shampoo.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 12 June 2018, 16:05:20
Scratch removal, then tother two ;)

Go gently though...
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: biggriffin on 12 June 2018, 16:37:50
Don't let her in the car again,if she does that :D

Gets hat and leaves.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Nick W on 12 June 2018, 17:14:01
Scratch removal, then tother two ;)

Go gently though...


The snag is that you're not polishing out scratches, but an acid burn into the paint. Which is why it's so difficult to get a good result.


It's also why if you care about the paint, it needs to be polished frequently to reduce the damage occurring in the first place
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 12 June 2018, 17:35:53
Bird shit was sitting on the car for no more than a few hours. :-\

The little bastards must have a very acidic diet. :-\
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: johnnydog on 12 June 2018, 18:05:11
If you are feeling brave, then gentle heat applied with a hot air gun over the affected area apparently will cause the remaining laquer to soften and conceal the mark.
There are You Tube videos showing how it's done.
I would definitely try it someone else's car first (!!!) ;D ;D and get a bit of practise in. I do know of a valeter who works for a main dealer who is quite a dab hand at this.
Take a braver man than me though to try it without some practice....
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: zirk on 12 June 2018, 18:23:59
Bird shit was sitting on the car for no more than a few hours. :-\

The little bastards must have a very acidic diet. :-\
They do this time of year lots of Fruit and Berries around which they love, seem to remember Wild Blackberry Poo are the worst offender for car paint
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Bigron on 12 June 2018, 18:28:58
It doesn't help that car manufacturers have been using water based paint for some time now instead of solvent based paint; it helps the "environment" - and it's cheaper!  :(

Ron.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Nick W on 12 June 2018, 18:55:50
It doesn't help that car manufacturers have been using water based paint for some time now instead of solvent based paint; it helps the "environment" - and it's cheaper!  :(

Ron.


It certainly isn't cheaper! Especially as you don't just slosh in some tapwater. And it's only the basecoat that's waterborne; the clear is still catalysed solvent, and that's what gives both the finish and the protection. Don't forget, the solvent(and water is a solvent) is only there to carry the actual paint to the surface and help it flow out to a smooth coating.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 12 June 2018, 20:20:37
Seems like a lot of effort for a Signum.   :-\                                                ;D
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 13 June 2018, 10:32:56
Seems like a lot of effort for a Signum.   :-\                                                ;D

It's the other one........not the mighty Signum. ;)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Mister Rog on 13 June 2018, 22:01:52

I wonder if it's possible to get a car in "metallic bird shit" colour ? problem solved . . .

Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 13 June 2018, 22:17:11
Didn't somebody own an Astra that colour, or was it dog poo brown...  ::)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: aaronjb on 14 June 2018, 09:09:51
Didn't somebody own an Astra that colour, or was it dog poo brown...  ::)

Honest to god I saw the turdest brown car I've ever seen in L's works car park this morning.. there was already a metallic brown Focus, but now it's been joined by a flat, turd brown Fiat.

Who buys these things!?
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Kevin Wood on 14 June 2018, 09:32:36
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 June 2018, 10:38:44
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: aaronjb on 14 June 2018, 10:56:48
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. ;D [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Kevin Wood on 14 June 2018, 11:16:27
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. ;D [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat. ::)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: aaronjb on 14 June 2018, 11:21:16
At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat. ::)

And wipe-clean!
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 June 2018, 11:35:35
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. ;D [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat. ::)

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?.... ;)



Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Kevin Wood on 14 June 2018, 11:57:38
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. ;D [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat. ::)

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?.... ;)
Well, I'm not sure I am qualified to answer that. At least, on the plus side, in an All-Aggro, you are unlikely to be distracted by the opposite sex. Or any sex at all, for that matter. Things are different in a Marina, as Sir Tigger will attest. ;D
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: aaronjb on 14 June 2018, 12:17:26
Well, I'm not sure I am qualified to answer that. At least, on the plus side, in an All-Aggro, you are unlikely to be distracted by the opposite sex. Or any sex at all, for that matter. Things are different in a Marina, as Sir Tigger will attest. ;D

I can vouch for that. In fact, it took an additional seven years for the effects of the Allegro to wear off..  ;D :-X :-[
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: henryd on 14 June 2018, 12:45:51
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Aggro handled better than the Marina,I had both :-X,18TC Marina a hoot on a straight road but woeful in the bendy bits

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. ;D [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat. ::)

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?.... ;)

Aggro was better than the Marina(I had both :-X) although the 1.8TC was a hoot in a straight line but only in a straight line ::)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 June 2018, 12:57:51
Horrible 70's car colours seem to be in fashion now. ::)

Quite a few Austin All-aggro came in a fetching shade of turd brown.

Thank goodness mine was red. The only brown was from the rust stains.. ;D [edit] Oh, and the vinyl interior, if memory serves!

At least, if when the handling failed you, the evidence was less apparent on the driver's seat. ::)

Are you suggesting the All-aggro was inferior to the Marina when it comes to handling prowess, Kevin?.... ;)
Well, I'm not sure I am qualified to answer that. At least, on the plus side, in an All-Aggro, you are unlikely to be distracted by the opposite sex. Or any sex at all, for that matter. Things are different in a Marina, as Sir Tigger will attest. ;D

Oh...I don't know.

I've  heard rumours that the desirable and much sought after All-aggro 1750 HL has girls panties sticking to their gusset in anticipation as they get peeled off. :)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 14 June 2018, 13:31:17
Only sweaty from all that vinyl  :o
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Nick W on 14 June 2018, 13:41:02
Only sweaty from all that vinyl  :o


Or a rash from all that velour. That's what she said the cause was.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Doctor Gollum on 14 June 2018, 13:44:34
 ;D
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 14 June 2018, 14:24:13
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 June 2018, 14:47:25
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: dave the builder on 14 June 2018, 16:23:42
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)
did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth  :o
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Kevin Wood on 14 June 2018, 16:26:18
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)
did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth  :o
Yep, a few of them tried to get to Exeter once. Didn't come back, though. :o
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 14 June 2018, 16:38:30
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)
did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth  :o
Yep, a few of them tried to get to Exeter once. Didn't come back, though. :o

I've been to Exeter. Very similar to Royston Vasey. :y
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: dave the builder on 14 June 2018, 17:03:23
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)
did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth  :o
Yep, a few of them tried to get to Exeter once. Didn't come back, though. :o

I've been to Exeter. Very similar to Royston Vasey. :y
Hadfield (Royston Vassey ) is a nice area just on the outskirts of the known world ,Derbyshire  :)
Exeter on the other hand is again ,very close to the edge of the earth
could you see the ice wall F.M. Dr Opti  ?  :-\

I empathize with you re : bird mess, one local here feeds the dam birds ,which "go toilet "on my car  :'(
should I go and "go toilet" on his car  :-\

Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 14 June 2018, 19:08:55
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

Dorset posh totty appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)

The trick was to find a rebellious one who wanted to piss her parents off!  :)

My Marina graced a few crunchy drives back in the day!  ;D
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Kevin Wood on 14 June 2018, 23:30:22
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

Dorset posh totty appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)

The trick was to find a rebellious one who wanted to piss her parents off!  :)

My Marina graced a few crunchy drives back in the day!  ;D

<wonders if it's a Euphemism> :-\
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Rods2 on 15 June 2018, 04:20:12
My Marina 1800TC Coupe in mustard with the black stripe down the bonnet was a proper fanny magnet!  :y

These Dorset 'farm girls' appear far from fussy who they drop their knickers for.

A flagon of 'Darzett scrumpy' and you can have your wicked way. :)
did consider a road trip then ....
but looked at the map , Dorset is very close to the edge of the earth  :o

That why the IOW ferry is on the most expensive strip of water in the world. Getting there is easy as you drop off the world, getting back. :-X :-X :-X ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Bigron on 15 June 2018, 08:10:32
Speaking of the IOW, there's a double-decker bus that goes from Yarmouth to The Battery, way up above the Needles, via a narrow winding road. I
f you sit on the upper deck, front nearside seat, you appear to be suspended above the cliffs/sea - it's fresh underwear time, but a great thrill!  8) :o :y

Ron.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: dave the builder on 15 June 2018, 08:27:50
Fresh underwear time is December Ron  :y socks too and a bath if need be  :P
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Bigron on 15 June 2018, 08:56:47
That might be too soon, Dave, I won't have turned them enough times by then!
Here's the guide: after repeatedly turning them (front to back, back to front....), throw them at the wall and if they slide down then there's more wear left in them. If they stick firmly, it may be time for fresh knickers?
Remember that clothing store, C&A? Their labels told you which way round to wear them: now that they have gone, we have to rely on the old way - yellow at the front, brown at the rear!  :y 8)

Ron.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: dave the builder on 15 June 2018, 09:04:41
That might be too soon, Dave, I won't have turned them enough times by then!
Here's the guide: after repeatedly turning them (front to back, back to front....), throw them at the wall and if they slide down then there's more wear left in them. If they stick firmly, it may be time for fresh knickers?
Remember that clothing store, C&A? Their labels told you which way round to wear them: now that they have gone, we have to rely on the old way - yellow at the front, brown at the rear!  :y 8)

Ron.
Boxers or y fronts surely  :-\
Knickers and panties are for the 2 bottom types (women)   :y
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Bigron on 15 June 2018, 09:09:18
Ok Dave - you got me! Obviously, I used the term loosely, but I accept your correction.
Incidentally, you are right; sock changing is an annual event, along with bathing, whether needed or not.  :)

Ron.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: dave the builder on 15 June 2018, 09:15:12
Ok Dave - you got me! Obviously, I used the term loosely, but I accept your correction.
Incidentally, you are right; sock changing is an annual event, along with bathing, whether needed or not.  :)

Ron.
Yep  :y , x-mas socks , and a splash of aftershave too
has the ladies swarming round you in no time  :)
(though usually , to borrow your credit cards , so they can go to the "sales" )  ;D
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: Bigron on 15 June 2018, 09:30:58
Aftershave? That's for the uphill gardeners!  :o

Ron.
Title: Re: Remove marks left from bird shit?
Post by: dave the builder on 15 June 2018, 10:39:49

Aftershave? That's for the uphill gardeners!  :o

Ron.
Not so ^
if you don't have a dog to blame for the smell of wet dog ,aftershave is your friend  :y
plus , what else are you meant to do with it  ::)
tastes foul even after all the booze is drank , too low octane to run a V6  :-\