Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Darth Loo-knee on 16 August 2008, 19:20:08
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I gave our friend Countess Dundee a ring about 5 mins ago, where do you think he is? ;D
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Thailand?
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Thought it only right to share it with you all....
He is sitting on a rubber ring as he has been in today to have his Haemorrhoids removed :o
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Funny as hell, but you will be going to hell Mr LK ;D
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Oh Dear.
Note to self, click notification on this thread, it may get interesting. ;D ;D ;D
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Well I had to laugh myself, but not sure he thought it was as funny ;D So thought well I am sure Countess would do the same for me and post it on the Forum :)
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Oh Dear.
Note to self, click notification on this thread, it may get interesting. ;D ;D ;D
It might ;D ;D :y
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So Countess won't be doing the quiz tonight.......
Just got an image in my head of him sitting on his rubber ring with a can of beer in one hand, plus a cold bog roll in the other ;D ;D ;D
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Aw bless him, hope he's ok and recovers :y
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It will certainly give me something to laugh at, at Newent ;D
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It will certainly give me something to laugh at, at Newent ;D
I bet it will , we shall be there and i can have a laugh with you ;D ;D
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Think I will stand behind you Maria ;D
I could be getting a Raggie Eye :D
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So Countess won't be doing the quiz tonight.......
Just got an image in my head of him sitting on his rubber ring with a can of beer in one hand, plus a cold bog roll in the other ;D ;D ;D
I'm sure you could photoshop something up ;D
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It is so funny you should say that ;D
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Think I will stand behind you Maria ;D
I could be getting a Raggie Eye :D
I won't be able to hide you i am shorter than you LOL but you can if it helps ;D ;D ;D
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The surgeons been in to harvest the cherries eh!
Bet he wont sit grunting and straining on the toilet in the future!
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He wouldn't hit a man with glasses would he? ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D
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He wouldn't hit a man with glasses would he? ;D
No, but he may lump you ;D
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Wonder if its wearing a kilt that brings em on? ;D ;D ;D
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He wouldn't hit a man with glasses would he? ;D
No, but he may lump you ;D
Now that would be funny jaime, i could be referee ;D ;D ;D
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I wonder how long before he sees this thread....
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I wonder how long before he sees this thread....
It wont be long i bet ;D
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Well I could not bring myself to photoshop anything of Countess so I have posted a picture he took whilst at a party...
What goes around comes around ;D
(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s304/Loo-knee/Piles.jpg)
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Now that is funny, love it ;D ;D ;D
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Wonder if the surgeons can make wine from a massive bunch of grapes...
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I wonder but dont fancey trying it ;D
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Well I could not bring myself to photoshop anything of Countess so I have posted a picture he took whilst at a party...
What goes around comes around ;D
(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s304/Loo-knee/Piles.jpg)
I bet Loo Knee will shortly be eating hospital food through a straw ;D
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Ooops I have had a phone call from an unhappy Countess :-[
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You need to make him laugh......it will REALLY hurt when he laughs!
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You need to make him laugh......it will REALLY hurt when he laughs!
There speaks the voice of experience ;)
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Oh dear , are you in trouble then daz ;D
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You need to make him laugh......it will REALLY hurt when he laughs!
There speaks the voice of experience ;)
I had a few problems around that area when I was 15......not the 'farmer Giles' though!
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So it seems :-[
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Oh dear , are you in trouble then daz ;D
Daz is always in trouble, its just the depth that varies!
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You need to make him laugh......it will REALLY hurt when he laughs!
That will be a big ouch ::)
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You need to make him laugh......it will REALLY hurt when he laughs!
There speaks the voice of experience ;)
I had a few problems around that area when I was 15......not the 'farmer Giles' though!
I had a bout of Tim Henmans in Eygpt a couple of years back, probably due to the stress my backside was under after accidentally brushing my teeth in nile water one morning...
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http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/YaBB.pl?action=viewprofile;username=mickdundee
::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;) ;) :y
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Just puzzling me how i get into trouble all the time :'(
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http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/YaBB.pl?action=viewprofile;username=mickdundee
::) ::) ::) ::) ;D ;D ;) ;) :y
Now that is funny, like it :y ;D
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Its a bit slow to load due to the number of posts he has (and the forum software!)
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Its a bit slow to load due to the number of posts he has (and the forum software!)
LOL LOL LOL
Havent laughed so hard in ages ;D
Best get Mrs Dundee to lay of the curries for a while ;D
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Dunna say anymore James he has taken the hump :-X
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Dunna say anymore James he has taken the hump :-X
Didn't they remove that as well whilst they were in there.....
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For those that are finding the member page of our resident grape farmer slow to load, here is a link to his most recent post :y
http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1217361460/40#40
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Thought it only right to share it with you all....
He is sitting on a rubber ring as he has been in today to have his Haemorrhoids removed :o
YOU SAID YOU WERE'NT GONNA SAY NOTHING...........Typical from a bloke from MASSIVE Country :P
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Just puzzling me how i get into trouble all the time :'(
Your surname should be trouble ;D
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Just puzzling me how i get into trouble all the time :'(
Your surname should be trouble ;D
Consider it done!
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Just puzzling me how i get into trouble all the time :'(
Your surname should be trouble ;D
Consider it done!
Cheers ;D
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Oh Dear.
Note to self, click notification on this thread, it may get interesting. ;D ;D ;D
What's that then? :-[ :-[ :-[
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An interesting report ::)
Anal Sex
Anal sex, bum sex, sex by the back door, the Greek or Italian way, fudge-packing and sodomy - these are some of the terms used to describe anal sex. It involves anal penetration of the anus (or rectum) by an erect penis or even a vibrator, dildo or "butt plug."
Previously regarded as sexual activity primarily practised by male homosexuals, it now appears to be a fairly common, even acceptable, alternative to vaginal intercourse amongst heterosexuals. The most common questions we get on the show relate to anal intercourse - how to do it, is it dangerous, does it hurt, why do people want to do it, is it pleasurable for the female, and how do I talk my partner into trying it?
This is a very controversial and a very sensitive, even taboo, topic amongst many mature people, and I would not want to offend, but anal sex is also high risk behavior and we have an obligation to provide accurate information so younger people can make an informed decision.
First - anatomy. At the lower end of the bowel, there are two distinct circular bands of muscles, sphincters, one is located about an 1 ˝" above the other. These clamp down tight to prevent the passage of feces or gas. The mucous membrane lining of the rectum is not as heavy as the lining of the vagina, so it can tear quite easily and it does not heal as quickly as the vagina. Because feces, loaded with bacteria, are passing by, any tear is vulnerable to infection.
The vigorous thrusting that may occur during anal intercourse can tear the mucous membrane. This can develop into an anal abscess that can become infected - more about that in a moment. Also, if your partner has any of the sexually transmitted infections (STI's), then you could get infected through the tear. So we are talking about gonorrhea (treatable); venereal warts (treatable if external, difficult if up in the rectum); syphilis (treatable); herpes (treatment, no cure); yeast infection (treatable); and HIV and AIDS (treatment but no cure.) You do not want any of these STI's.
Preferably, you're in a long-term, committed relationship, infection free, and practising SAFER SEX.
But wait, there's more bad news. A “fissure” is a tear up in the rectum can develop into a crack, and become infected.
It can gradually extend out through the wall of the bowel and form a channel across, through and into a nearby organ. That's called a "fistula", and it would allow feces to flow from the rectum into the vagina and out.
Repairing tears, fissures and fistulas is delicate surgery and recovery can be long and painful.
Some doctors will tell you that hemorrhoids (piles) could result from vigorous anal sex, and although I have no medical research, I have heard people say that the rectum "gets sloppy", stretched. I am dubious - if this was true, why doesn't it get sloppy with regular bowel movements? With no definitive research, you do the math.
The best prevention is "don't go there". But if you do decide to try it, you and your partner must talk about it beforehand and agree on these points:
1. Your partner must be very, very gentle, absolutely no forced penetration and no vigorous thrusting.
2. You must use lots and lots of good lubrication, (anal lube, not saliva).
3. Your partner must use a condom…all the time, every time.
4. Your partner must respect "stop". If you say ouch, or it hurts, or No or quit… they must stop immediately.
5. It must be understood, if you do not want to have anal sex again, there will be no pressure, no threats and no pleading. NO means NO.
6. Use a well-lubricated condom without spermicide, either on the sex toy or his penis. Spermicide can irritate the rectum.
7. Never shift from anal sex back to vaginal sex without changing condoms. Feces can end up in the vagina and cause infections. And please wash your hands with soap and water after handling the dirty condom or you could still spread infectious material.
There are some who really enjoy giving and receiving anal pleasure; some females feel that they have their best orgasms ever; some females oblige simply because their partner really enjoys anal sex; and for other females, it is just gross, embarrassing or disgusting.
For men who have sex with men, it can be very satisfying sex.
As to why the sudden increase in anal sexual activity, again, I have no studies but I suspect anal sex is the last taboo. Females believe that they won't get pregnant with anal sex. This is true, UNLESS ejaculate flows down over her genitals. Young females believe they are still a virgin if they have bum sex. Basically, this is true, but it is semantics. How much is "if you really loved me, you'd prove your love by doing this?" And how much is proof of power and control, dominant v.s. submissive. And of course, some of it is just good, old curiosity. "Try it, you'll like it."
I get very upset when guys ask, "How can I talk my girlfriend into having anal sex?" My reply: "I hope you can't." Absolutely no coercion, promises, manipulation or threats. It must be mutual with a definite understanding of the "bottom line."
As I write this, I realize that some people will be very offended by the whole topic, but knowledge is a survival skill for the new century and I want people to follow the old Planned Parenthood motto; "Know what you are doing, think ahead, plan ahead, and never let sex just happen".
Sorry Mike ;D
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I dread to think why you had such an article to hand....
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I dread to think why you had such an article to hand....
I googled it, purely to find out how Mike got his piles ::)
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I dread to think why you had such an article to hand....
I googled it, purely to find out how Mike got his piles ::)
Thanks for that Pete :y.....know I know how it may occur, should it ever :P ;D.................Some folks just believe everything they hear, and worst of all from a known fibber ::)
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I dread to think why you had such an article to hand....
I googled it, purely to find out how Mike got his piles ::)
Thanks for that Pete :y.....know I know how it may occur, should it ever :P ;D.................Some folks just believe everything they hear, and worst of all from a known fibber ::)
On OOF........... :o :o :o