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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: hotel21 on 04 December 2006, 23:40:45

Title: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: hotel21 on 04 December 2006, 23:40:45

Well, it amused me at least....  But, according to some, I am of simple mind....   :D




Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!

Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,

Your parents smoked ganja when they had you, didn't they?

Santa

****************************************

Dear Santa,

I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mummy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.

Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,

Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a road breaking drill bit driver well into double overtime. Do you think he's going to come back to your frigid mum who whinges constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Lego instead.

Santa

************************************************** **

Dear Santa,

I want a new bike, a Wii gamebox, a train, an Action Man, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.

Love, Francis

Dear Francis,

Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays. I bet you're gay.   I'll set you up with a Barbie.

Santa

********************************


Dear Santa,

I left milk and biscuits for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.

Love, Susan

Dear Susan,

Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh.

You want to do me a favour? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.

Santa

************************************

Dear Santa,

What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?

Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,

All the toys are made in China. I have a flat in Brighton where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the arses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the poker table.  

Well, you wanted to know.

Santa

************************************************** **


Dear Santa,

Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?

Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.

Santa

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: Gwilym on 04 December 2006, 23:45:01

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: MikeDundee on 05 December 2006, 00:01:47

LOL ;D...nice one :y

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: Big Rod on 05 December 2006, 10:04:55

Quote

banging the babysitter like a road breaking drill bit driver well into double overtime

Ha ha!! I'm going to have to remember that one!!! LOL

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: nixoro on 05 December 2006, 11:56:55

 ;D ;D ;D ;D very good nice one :y

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: STMO123 on 05 December 2006, 11:57:00

You've spoiled my christmas :'(

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: Bo Bo on 05 December 2006, 13:30:58

Quote

You've spoiled my christmas :'(

Does that mean that Santa really isn't real?  :'(

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real story
Post by: CaptainZok on 05 December 2006, 13:36:54

 :y
Nice one Broocie.

Title: Re: Alternate Christmas letters..  The real s
Post by: Del Boy on 05 December 2006, 19:34:37

 ;D ;D ;D