Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dbug on 03 October 2008, 08:34:19

Title: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: dbug on 03 October 2008, 08:34:19
ZEN  TEACHINGS:

1.  Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
      Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
      Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.
      In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2.  Sex is like air.  It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

3.  No one is listening until you fart.

4.  Always remember you're unique.  Just like everyone else.

5.  Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6.  If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try
    missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7.  Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
    That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
    have their shoes.

8.  If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9.  Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach him how to
      fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was
      probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and most of that comes
      from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women.  Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
      moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ...
      then things just get worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative
      on the same night.
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: Jimbob on 03 October 2008, 08:49:57
I'll drink to that!
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: JonArgraig on 03 October 2008, 09:14:08
Wasn't this posted yesterday :p
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: Gaffers on 03 October 2008, 09:32:28
the fishing one is me  ::) ::) ::) ::)
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 03 October 2008, 10:17:51
brief facts about life ;D :y
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: waspy on 03 October 2008, 10:50:46
No 1  ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: dbug on 03 October 2008, 18:31:38
Quote
Wasn't this posted yesterday :p

Don't think so - I can't see it :o :-?
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: STMO123 on 03 October 2008, 19:46:23
There's some crackers in there  :y
Title: Re: ZEN  TEACHINGS
Post by: dieseldean on 03 October 2008, 20:23:13
 ;D :ysuch word of great wisdom :y ;D