Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Jay w on 11 November 2008, 18:06:32
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you try and help members of family out and all they do is bitch and moan and cause hassle
My father and Law and his wife split up a few year back, she was a complete two faced moaning waster who just pi**ed up the housekeeping down the pub, as part of the deal she got the flat and the remainder of a 20K mortgage (it was peanuts)
Sis in law stayed with her mother and over the next few years and consistanty bailed her out of financial trouble, it all came to a head earlier this year when is was found her mother had debts totalling 100K and had to sell the flat to sort things out.
After some consideration sis in law came to live with us, the deal was 6 months, just for her to get back on her feet and get some cash together for a deposit, that was april 2008.
In the last 7 months she has been temping, she has had a lot of work so is not able to say she has been hard done by, she has been to numerous interviews but her appearance lets her down, she is a complete slob who has no concept of personal hygene, even i have told her, both nicely and then bluntly, still nothing, no change at all and no job >:(
just before she came down here she had her car written off, so i sourced her a little corsa with snapped cambelt, all back on the road for under £400....taxed and tested, about 4 weeks ago it failed its MOT, I got a right roasting for it and she started to throw her weight around saying how i had sold her a shitter and how it was unsafe >:( It failed on a headlamp bulb, a small exhaust blow and a leaky fuel tank, all fixed and re mot'd for £110, i did all the work because i knew she was hard up, did i get thanks......not a fricking work from her.
I was only able to work on the car on the weekends because i work away from home, she was worried i would not have the car finished in time for her to go to the dentist and commented to a friend of mine that f the car wasn't finished she would be taking my sons clit without his permission, this would have meant she was not insured and in the eyes of the law she would have stolen the car as James has always said he will not allow her to borrow his car
so far i have had father in law on the phone bleating on about the condition of the car and how it failed its mot....BTW it's a P reg CDX with 96,000 miles on the clock, it's no minter but it will do her considering her budget and he ability to wreck cars no sooner than looking at them, when i gave it to her it had no strange noises bangs nor did it smoke, now it has all of those features >:(
My wife and i have been talking about converting the garage into two additional bedrooms, one for guests and one as a summerhouse/office, the plan was t do it next year once we have had our end of year figures confirmed, so she has said to the wife tonight that she intends to stay put until the conversion has taken place........like hell is she >:(
She is like a freeloading leech currently and i am begining to really hate her for how she is making me feel, I am self employed and anyone who is/has been will know it is not a bed of roses, however she is a nosey cow and she has been caught before now going through my invoices, since then she has made comments on the income of the business.
she has no respect for my wishes, i do not smoke and have asked her to smoke under the car port at the front of the ouse, does she........does she f**k, she smokes right by the front door and the hall stinks, i have asked her repeatedly and still she ignores me....
i have had my wife on the phone today in a mood because of the lazy cow, she has slobbed about and created a mess and has pi**ed off to work, our house is not mint, but we do like to keep it clean and tidy, with my wife suffering from ME having to run round after her it makes things hard for her......
So this weekend she will get the rocket of her life and in no uncertain terms be told to F**k off, i have had enough of it.....
Rent we charge = £200 a month, we did this to help her get on her feet......more like get her feet under the bloody table....i feel like i have been taken for a mug
rant over, thanks for reading
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Throw her out!
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easier said that done, i will get no ends of grief if i do this so i have the 'manage' her out of the house, a bit like trying to manage a tenant.
if i turf her out my life would be made a living hell by the family
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Be kinder to have her put down ;)
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I lived in a similiar situation years ago with the ex..So she become an ex in one of my similiar moments..I can understand you.. :-/
wife's jobless brother and his wife and 2 childrens of him and a sister in law was more than I could carry..
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Hopefully you feel better getting all that off your chest and I am sure a lot of people can relate to your predicament - but have to agree with Martin - give her notice and then wave her goodye and get on with looking after the people you care about.
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Be kinder to have her put down ;)
there isn't a gun large enough for the bullet
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Hopefully you feel better getting all that off your chest and I am sure a lot of people can relate to your predicament - but have to agree with Martin - give her notice and then wave her goodye and get on with looking after the people you care about.
and that's where i am caught over the proverbial barrel....
I have no family, my mum and dad passed away a few years go, the kids only have my wifes side of the family.
Now his ex-wife just doesn't get involved anymore.....well she isn't sober long enough, that leaves the father in law, sis in law and brother in law....
If i turf her out i am the bastard, and the kids lose out. Sis in law is VERY manipulative and i have no doubt is sining a different story to her side of the family, one of how she is hard done by and how i am robbing her blind etc.etc, so when i turf her out i will be the baddie and the ones that are closets to me, the kids and my wife, suffer
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If i needed to be put up in some one elses house i'd respect their rules on smoking, mealtimes, bathroom times etc. She does'nt respect yours, or all the other help you've given her she seems to show complete ingrattitude & lack of appreciation. I've been helped out in the past & i'll help anyone who's down on thier luck but you've reached crunch point here. Bag her junk up, throw it in the street & change the locks.
You will have nothing to feel bad about & have your wife to consider. She's had enough chances. >:(
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put the house up for sale mate. tell the sponger she'll have to find somewhere else to live as you have an offer on the house. as soon as she gone take it of the market. job done. youre not the baddie.
bit extreme i know. but a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. good luck mate.
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:y :y :y :y :y
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=VT40NVMZpbE&feature=related
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Christmas will be here soon....more family arguments over Christmas than any other time of the year....worse to come probably if she is still with you come Christmas....Good luck. :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
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Smoking - buckets of water
Car taking - call Police and report as stolen
Abusing the Corsa - tell the whole family
Rent - double it
Just make her life unpleasant
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Hopefully you feel better getting all that off your chest and I am sure a lot of people can relate to your predicament - but have to agree with Martin - give her notice and then wave her goodye and get on with looking after the people you care about.
and that's where i am caught over the proverbial barrel....
I have no family, my mum and dad passed away a few years go, the kids only have my wifes side of the family.
Now his ex-wife just doesn't get involved anymore.....well she isn't sober long enough, that leaves the father in law, sis in law and brother in law....
If i turf her out i am the bastard, and the kids lose out. Sis in law is VERY manipulative and i have no doubt is sining a different story to her side of the family, one of how she is hard done by and how i am robbing her blind etc.etc, so when i turf her out i will be the baddie and the ones that are closets to me, the kids and my wife, suffer
A:- boot her out, short term grief. B:- Let her stay, long term grief. C:- let her stay but refuse to pay for or repair anything & hope your immediate family see what an ungrateful freeloader she is. The time will come when your wife or one of the children wants something at the same time SHE wants something, then you've got it in the bag matey. You explain you can only afford one or the other & let them choose. Hopefully that will open a few eyes & keep you in the clear. I'd have turfed her out ages ago despite the flak but i'm a blunt c***!!!
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Hopefully you feel better getting all that off your chest and I am sure a lot of people can relate to your predicament - but have to agree with Martin - give her notice and then wave her goodye and get on with looking after the people you care about.
and that's where i am caught over the proverbial barrel....
I have no family, my mum and dad passed away a few years go, the kids only have my wifes side of the family.
Now his ex-wife just doesn't get involved anymore.....well she isn't sober long enough, that leaves the father in law, sis in law and brother in law....
If i turf her out i am the bastard, and the kids lose out. Sis in law is VERY manipulative and i have no doubt is sining a different story to her side of the family, one of how she is hard done by and how i am robbing her blind etc.etc, so when i turf her out i will be the baddie and the ones that are closets to me, the kids and my wife, suffer
A:- boot her out, short term grief. B:- Let her stay, long term grief. C:- let her stay but refuse to pay for or repair anything & hope your immediate family see what an ungrateful freeloader she is. The time will come when your wife or one of the children wants something at the same time SHE wants something, then you've got it in the bag matey. You explain you can only afford one or the other & let them choose. Hopefully that will open a few eyes & keep you in the clear. I'd have turfed her out ages ago despite the flak but i'm a blunt c***!!!
erm..Can I take the option A..
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Yes famalies can and do all this too you! ::) ::) ::) It is always said:
"you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family"
In these situations Jay you must let your head rule, not your heart, and make the decision to kick her out for the sake of your health and your family! :y :y :y
Heartache there will be, and plenty of insults thrown, but the pain will not last! The question is would you rather have all the agro of letting the situation continue, or give yourself a real break, move on and don't look back?! :-? :-? :D
I speak with some experience of making a decision that costs you a huge part of one side of your family Jay, but it is bloody worth it in the end!! :D :D :y
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Know what you mean and are on about :y.............probabaly cause too much hassle as you said to chuck her out, tell her she's on notice and give her 2 months to get her own place, I know what it's like to lose that privacy side, your wife and kids have a life to live, ideally without others living with you be it family or not. I have had a mate of mine lodging with me for a couple of months now, but I told him that me and Kate need our privacy, he rents a room shares the rest except not the front room etc.. So far it has worked fine and charging a lot more than you are, and without any food or that.
Anyway will be fun when we come back from Thailand will have two of them Nok and Mark, but one will have to go when we come back, and should we purchase an SUV when in thailand the rent will cover the payments on the SUV :y
Then again could just chuck her out, and not give any notice, she'll soon realise how lucky she has been, albeit it too late :o
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Evict her.
Let A.N.Other member of the extended family take her in. Accept the short term flack from the remainder of the family who think you are a selfish uncaring brute but then retake the moral high ground with A.N.Other as a converted supporter to your cause as she will no doubt sh!t on that doorstep as well....
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Hopefully you feel better getting all that off your chest and I am sure a lot of people can relate to your predicament - but have to agree with Martin - give her notice and then wave her goodye and get on with looking after the people you care about.
and that's where i am caught over the proverbial barrel....
I have no family, my mum and dad passed away a few years go, the kids only have my wifes side of the family.
Now his ex-wife just doesn't get involved anymore.....well she isn't sober long enough, that leaves the father in law, sis in law and brother in law....
If i turf her out i am the bastard, and the kids lose out. Sis in law is VERY manipulative and i have no doubt is sining a different story to her side of the family, one of how she is hard done by and how i am robbing her blind etc.etc, so when i turf her out i will be the baddie and the ones that are closets to me, the kids and my wife, suffer
A:- boot her out, short term grief. B:- Let her stay, long term grief. C:- let her stay but refuse to pay for or repair anything & hope your immediate family see what an ungrateful freeloader she is. The time will come when your wife or one of the children wants something at the same time SHE wants something, then you've got it in the bag matey. You explain you can only afford one or the other & let them choose. Hopefully that will open a few eyes & keep you in the clear. I'd have turfed her out ages ago despite the flak but i'm a blunt c***!!!
erm..Can I take the option A..
I would Cem. The irony is he'd get trouble from the family he's trying to protect, can't win sometimes!!!! ::)
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Help Jayw out with a vote on his predicament :y
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Listen to me Jay. She sounds like an absolute nightmare and you HAVE to show her the door. Talk it through with your wife and, if she agrees, give the leech a date by which she must leave, and make it clear this is not negotiable, she will be turfed out if she doesn't leave.
As for the bit about your kids/family suffering as part of the fallout, I have learned over three marriages and two messy divorces that your family consists of you, yourwife and your kids, no one else matters. If you stick together through thick and thin people will come to realise that they cant hurt you. Do it mate or she will come between you and your loved ones.
Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her :y
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Yes famalies can and do all this too you! ::) ::) ::) It is always said:
"you can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family"
In these situations Jay you must let your head rule, not your heart, and make the decision to kick her out for the sake of your health and your family! :y :y :y
Heartache there will be, and plenty of insults thrown, but the pain will not last! The question is would you rather have all the agro of letting the situation continue, or give yourself a real break, move on and don't look back?! :-? :-? :D
I speak with some experience of making a decision that costs you a huge part of one side of your family Jay, but it is bloody worth it in the end!! :D :D :y
EDIT: Now voted: [size=24] EVICT!!![/size] :y :y :y :y
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Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her :y
Nice.
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Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her :y
Nice.
Thank you ;D
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your being taken for a mug mate,sling her out.If the rest of the family think she is so great challenge them to let her live with them for 6 months and then see if their opinions change.
My family circumstances have always meant that the only things my kids ever had were provided by me,and now that they are older and understand why,theythink more highly of me because of it.
As long as you can get your wife to agree that she has to go (as much for your wifes health as anything else) then I would make a clean,swift break.
just my tuppence worth etc;
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Throw her out.....or it will ruin your christmas.....
Charity begins at home....i.e. you.
Get rid of the free loading bitch, it will make her stand on her own two feet.
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As Lizzie said, sling the do'nut out now, wear the relatively short term grief & enjoy chrimbo or back down & let it go on indefinately & suffer long term.
Time to take control of all you love, care & pay for.
LET'S CLEAN HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8-)
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Thanks for the comments guys.......and the poll :y
STMO - no way would i touch her with the splinters off a wooden dick.....she is not my type :-X :-X
She has been moaning to father in law again, i am going to have to deal with this on the weekend, i am away from home this week so that will be the first chance i get to deal with her face to face....
I think it is getting my wife down as well....
and as for upsetting xmas, yes that could be a real possibility, and that is something i dont want to risk
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Sorry Jay W but you seem to have backed yourself in to a corner on this. And I think she is playing on that. Manipulative people are very good at reading these situations.
If she is anything like the person I know, she will think she has a right to (what she sees) as your massive wealth. And she will be scheming about how to get a bigger piece of it. Right now...
You need to take a view on the effect that a wound up, unhappy Mum and Dad is having on the kids and balance that against the rest of the family being hostile.
She will, of course, go to the ends of the world to make sure that the rest of the family is hostile. But you will cope with that. Persistence on your part will win through.
She has got to go. But you need to find the way to do it that gives you the best outcome. And 6 months of hard work getting the rest of the family back on board may be the best outcome.
I voted - give her notice. 3 months gets you over the Christmas period so she can't blackmail you with that.
See a solicitor and make it legal. Local Authority will then make sure she doesn't end up on the streets. Perhaps sell the legal bit to her on that basis.
Good luck and keep us posted.
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Southampton, Poole......have you got a spare room for her? ::)
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if she needs some cash tell her to get down to millbay road during the hours of darkness. :y :y :y :y :y
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agree, throw her out! Next time she can find her own bloody car and mechanic. You took time and effort to sort a car out, and at that age had a few minor problems and she starts aiming abuse at you!?
How old is she!? 5?
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the words......... shoot the bitch spring to my mind? but i am appparently having a male period this week ;D "DOES ANYONE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT" :D
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if she needs some cash tell her to get down to millbay road during the hours of darkness. :y :y :y :y :y
I used to live on Durnford St, so had to walk through Millbay to get to town for a night out. I once politely turned down an offer from a young lady. Her retort was "oh well, have a nice night anyway".
LOL - only in Plymouth...
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agree, throw her out! Next time she can find her own bloody car and mechanic. You took time and effort to sort a car out, and at that age had a few minor problems and she starts aiming abuse at you!?
How old is she!? 5?
Obviously a 5 year old wouldnt have a licence - unless she went to some tree hugging,politically correct thingy that stated it was against "her human rights"
Maybe i am menopausal???? ;) ;D :o
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Listen to me Jay. She sounds like an absolute nightmare and you HAVE to show her the door. Talk it through with your wife and, if she agrees, give the leech a date by which she must leave, and make it clear this is not negotiable, she will be turfed out if she doesn't leave.
As for the bit about your kids/family suffering as part of the fallout, I have learned over three marriages and two messy divorces that your family consists of you, yourwife and your kids, no one else matters. If you stick together through thick and thin people will come to realise that they cant hurt you. Do it mate or she will come between you and your loved ones.
Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her :y
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That must have been expensive, how much did it cost ;D
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Give her a months notice in writing by Registered post so you have the proof of acceptance. Then change all the locks and just dont give her a key or let her in.
If she had sence she would have signed up with the council, what ever you do, STAND YOUR GROUND
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Think the poll speaks volumes.
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I can't vote from the mobile with the new software but I'd put her on notice... Get christmas out the way and have her out :y :y
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she's 29 and seems unable to sustain a relationship for any length of time.
Talking to my wife tonight the plan of attack is to go somewhere neutral on Saturday and discuss this like grown adults, i have opted for a public place as it means the chance of a full on hissy fit is slim, but still it could happen.
The one question i will be asking here 'what are your intentions in finding a place to live' from there the conversation will be directed to the point where she is given 3 months to find herself somewhere else to live.
Tomorrow night i have a meeting with father in law, so i will be driving to Portsmouth to 'enlighten' him as to the situation with his beloved daughter, this again is being done on neutral ground.
i will keep you updated :y
PS all those who suggested millbay road.....i wouldn't want to lower the tone of the area by putting her there ;D ;D ;D
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if she needs some cash tell her to get down to millbay road during the hours of darkness. :y :y :y :y :y
I used to live on Durnford St, so had to walk through Millbay to get to town for a night out. I once politely turned down an offer from a young lady. Her retort was "oh well, have a nice night anyway".
LOL - only in Plymouth...
used to work on the boats down at pheonix wharf near cpt jaspers. would often get approached by ladies of horizontal refreshment and offered favours in return of a few drinks from the bar. always turned them away tho.
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If you stand up for yourself & hold your ground, she'll run to another member of her side of the family (who seem to be keen on wanting meetings with you but are'nt opening thier own doors) then they'll find out for themselves. She's riding a wave of guilt & sympathy just now but this will be short lived.
Cheats never prosper.
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she's 29 and seems unable to sustain a relationship for any length of time.
Talking to my wife tonight the plan of attack is to go somewhere neutral on Saturday and discuss this like grown adults, i have opted for a public place as it means the chance of a full on hissy fit is slim, but still it could happen.
The one question i will be asking here 'what are your intentions in finding a place to live' from there the conversation will be directed to the point where she is given 3 months to find herself somewhere else to live.
Tomorrow night i have a meeting with father in law, so i will be driving to Portsmouth to 'enlighten' him as to the situation with his beloved daughter, this again is being done on neutral ground.
i will keep you updated :y
PS all those who suggested millbay road.....i wouldn't want to lower the tone of the area by putting her there ;D ;D ;D
Public place sounds good, while your there, arrange for someone to pack her gear up, and drop it off at the public place :y......Oh and chang the locks aswell :y
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there are many a situation where i would automatically suggest an actual house meeting to discuss feelings on a civil level but from what i've read, she needs to be out now, the deal anyway was 6 months but having made no effort AT ALL to sort herself out, and the unbelievable level of ungratefulness, she needs to be booted, i'd say tell her she has a week and no more to get alternate accommodation, and she needs to search constantly for 16 hours a day for this full week, and if she doesnt find one, seek shelter from salvation army or something
my mate spent his entire life being like this, he's now in prison, his 25th birthday (sunday just passed) cant have been that great
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Jay, it does sound to be a difficult situation to be in.
I really don't envy you or your wife at all.
But like already said You and Your family i.e Wife + Children are Paramount, the stress and unwanted pressure wont do any of you any good.
People if given a written notice should be found alternative accomodation. It might be worth you going to the local housing association to see how you actually stand in this. A good friend of mine gave his girlfriend a written letter saying that she had a month (stating a date) before he kicked her out, with that letter she went to the Housing Association and managed to get a flat. Perhaps this would be worth trying once you have done your own homework.
As for other family members moaning complaining how you have treated this foolish disrespectful person, perhaps they should open there door for her, see how long they cope...
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enough is enough Jay,you are just prolonging the inevitable, whatever you do is gonna be wrong, why give her notice we are a nation of finding homes for those who want to ponce off the state & give nothing in return. Get it sorted before long before Xmas. I assume she has a key & could clean you out as you are working away during the week. Giving her notice is asking for trouble as she can dream up some other excuse why she should not be thrown out & give you the guilt trip. Don't let it wreck Xmas & as for the outlaws the best form of defence is attack
Good luck mate :y
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Jay, it does sound to be a difficult situation to be in.
I really don't envy you or your wife at all.
But like already said You and Your family i.e Wife + Children are Paramount, the stress and unwanted pressure wont do any of you any good.
People if given a written notice should be found alternative accomodation. It might be worth you going to the local housing association to see how you actually stand in this. A good friend of mine gave his girlfriend a written letter saying that she had a month (stating a date) before he kicked her out, with that letter she went to the Housing Association and managed to get a flat. Perhaps this would be worth trying once you have done your own homework.
As for other family members moaning complaining how you have treated this foolish disrespectful person, perhaps they should open there door for her, see how long they cope...
Exactly. They sit in judgement......behind closed doors. >:(
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As razzo says above, get rid sooner than later. :y
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Tomorrow night i have a meeting with father in law, so i will be driving to Portsmouth to 'enlighten' him as to the situation with his beloved daughter, this again is being done on neutral ground.
I would take all the paperwork for the car and when he mentions the 'lemon' show him the MOT failure detailing the minor points, hopefully he'll see he is being played by the slob.
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Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her
I think this should be plan Z :o
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Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her
I think this should be plan Z :o
It should be after that ;D ;D ;D
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she's 29 and seems unable to sustain a relationship for any length of time.
Talking to my wife tonight the plan of attack is to go somewhere neutral on Saturday and discuss this like grown adults, i have opted for a public place as it means the chance of a full on hissy fit is slim, but still it could happen.
The one question i will be asking here 'what are your intentions in finding a place to live' from there the conversation will be directed to the point where she is given 3 months to find herself somewhere else to live.
Tomorrow night i have a meeting with father in law, so i will be driving to Portsmouth to 'enlighten' him as to the situation with his beloved daughter, this again is being done on neutral ground.
i will keep you updated :y
PS all those who suggested millbay road.....i wouldn't want to lower the tone of the area by putting her there ;D ;D ;D
Wondered when this would come up, you need to be able to tell him like it is, after all she is his responibility! I know she is 29 but she is his daughter.
Your wife is obviously suffering and therefore this must be rubbing of on your kids.
That side of the family need to know and understand your problems and she has to go, but as has been said I would do it in writing, perhaps through a solicitor. Timing is bad, yes, but ask yourself if Christmas wil be better, with or without her, and you then have your timescales.
Good Luck but she has to go.................
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dude its your house so its your rules
tell her to shape up and abide by the rules or she can sleep in a cardboard box or go and live withthe junkies in the homeless shelter.
My blood is boiling about this and its not even my problem
take the bull by the horns and tell her straight
Doug
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dude its your house so its your rules
tell her to shape up and abide by the rules or she can sleep in a cardboard box or go and live withthe junkies in the homeless shelter.
My blood is boiling about this and its not even my problem
take the bull by the horns and tell her straight
Doug
Strange that, I got more and more angry reading the thread, think cos we can all relate to the situation one way or another... :)
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she is 29? :o :o
I thought she was a teenager, chuck her out now!
At that age she must be able to stand on her own two feet!
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I agree with a few of the other comments.
1)U gave her a time limit and she's over it.
2) If she's working she should have saved enuf for rent by now
3) If it was absolute hell living in YOUR house, why is she still there?
4) If the car and u were such con's.., how come u got it thru the MOT
5) She's 29, well and truly able to act like an adult and do what most of us do and fend for herself, so why isn't she? She's decided at some point in her life to not look after herself.
6) Like most of us, give her the legally considered acceptable 1 month's notice.., 12th December and get rid of her by Xmas. If she won't go.., call police.., she hopefully will see sense and make a choice but if she doesn't.., that's her problem and CHOICE not yours.
Tell the relatives if they think its unfair, they should offer her a home. Get up and walk out of the neutral meeting place. If they hassle u, they aren't worth it. Don't make it a discussion.., its not and shouldn't be.
(Been there, put a friend of a friend up, charged no rent and he disappeared along with everything of value i owned quite literally after I complained when I asked him to do the washing up (I was working, he wasn't and didn't pay for food or anything at all.., so I learned to toughen up - oh and make sure u change the door locks).
The only people u owe anything to is your own family and yourself.
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Some advice that was given to me some years ago...
You married your wife not her family!
You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!
You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.
Good luck.
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Some advice that was given to me some years ago...
You married your wife not her family!
You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!
You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.
Good luck.
Do you know how to change locks then?
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Some advice that was given to me some years ago...
You married your wife not her family!
You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!
You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.
Good luck.
Do you know how to change locks then?
Oh yes! never know when you need that particular skill!
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Some advice that was given to me some years ago...
You married your wife not her family!
You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!
You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.
Good luck.
Do you know how to change locks then?
Oh yes! never know when you need that particular skill!
Does that include central locking solenoids cos I've got one here that needs doing... ;D
As said, you can't let her ruin your family's life. She has decided to live off the back of your kindness rather than get off her @rse and make something of her life, and the longer it continues the more she'll think she's entitled to do so.
Kevin
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send the fatty fatty bum bum packing! sounds like a rite ungrateful slob!
why should you have to goto work everyday and work hard to pay for fatty to eat all your pies and cakes if it was the TMX household she would be out!
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Reading all the posts above and yours Jay W I see something in her behaviour model..Shes trying to escape the realities and facts of life..
And you gave her a safe habour..Under those conditions waiting her to behave normal and accept to go peacefully is not logical..
And actually the position you are telling her to leave is easy to reject..
I think better you talk with your wife and she tells her to leave sounds to have more effect..
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well i have enlightened her father this evening, it was a quick meeting, i did all the talking and he listened....
The issues with the car and some other issues that i didn't post up about are now sort of resolved, in so far as they wont be dragged up again.
He still believes we are being harsh on her when i said i was giving her 3 months notice and that as of 1st of Jan rent is going up to £75 per week.
I wanted to give her 1 month but my wife has asked me to compromise on this, however i am now steadfast she will be gone by 14th feb, that means we can have valentines day to ourselves :y :y
I have been told that the family will not be happy with my actions, like i really give a rats backside about that!!
I also found out that she has been telling father in law a lot of how the business is doing, he told me things that only me and my wife know.....or we thought, so my wife has hauled her over the coals tonight and she has now lost access to all the PC's in the house and the wireless network, basically she has been looking through my book on the PC, tomorrow i am having locks fitted to the office as well, although i shuld have done that for insurance reasons a long time ago.
So i didn't win the battle tonight, but the war is a different thing and that i will win
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well i have enlightened her father this evening, it was a quick meeting, i did all the talking and he listened....
The issues with the car and some other issues that i didn't post up about are now sort of resolved, in so far as they wont be dragged up again.
He still believes we are being harsh on her when i said i was giving her 3 months notice and that as of 1st of Jan rent is going up to £75 per week.
I wanted to give her 1 month but my wife has asked me to compromise on this, however i am now steadfast she will be gone by 14th feb, that means we can have valentines day to ourselves :y :y
I have been told that the family will not be happy with my actions, like i really give a rats backside about that!!
I also found out that she has been telling father in law a lot of how the business is doing, he told me things that only me and my wife know.....or we thought, so my wife has hauled her over the coals tonight and she has now lost access to all the PC's in the house and the wireless network, basically she has been looking through my book on the PC, tomorrow i am having locks fitted to the office as well, although i shuld have done that for insurance reasons a long time ago.
So i didn't win the battle tonight, but the war is a different thing and that i will win
Send her over there if he's so worried. I think you have done more than enough giving her a roof over her head for so long ;)
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You are being more than fair Jay W.
The result from today is that the light at the end of the tunnel is now visible and father in law is still talking to you.
Good one :y
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Some advice that was given to me some years ago...
You married your wife not her family!
You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!
You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.
Good luck.
Do you know how to change locks then?
Oh yes! never know when you need that particular skill!
Does that include central locking solenoids cos I've got one here that needs doing... ;D
As said, you can't let her ruin your family's life. She has decided to live off the back of your kindness rather than get off her @rse and make something of her life, and the longer it continues the more she'll think she's entitled to do so.
Kevin
Coincidently so does she!
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well i have enlightened her father this evening, it was a quick meeting, i did all the talking and he listened....
The issues with the car and some other issues that i didn't post up about are now sort of resolved, in so far as they wont be dragged up again.
He still believes we are being harsh on her when i said i was giving her 3 months notice and that as of 1st of Jan rent is going up to £75 per week.
I wanted to give her 1 month but my wife has asked me to compromise on this, however i am now steadfast she will be gone by 14th feb, that means we can have valentines day to ourselves :y :y
I have been told that the family will not be happy with my actions, like i really give a rats backside about that!!
I also found out that she has been telling father in law a lot of how the business is doing, he told me things that only me and my wife know.....or we thought, so my wife has hauled her over the coals tonight and she has now lost access to all the PC's in the house and the wireless network, basically she has been looking through my book on the PC, tomorrow i am having locks fitted to the office as well, although i shuld have done that for insurance reasons a long time ago.
So i didn't win the battle tonight, but the war is a different thing and that i will win
Send her over there if he's so worried. I think you have done more than enough giving her a roof over her head for so long ;)
Aha....Pete plans on taking the STMO approach eh.
What that would sure scare her off!
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Can't believe she's been logging into your business a/c's & discussing it with others the cheeky cow. I appreciate you taking your wife & kids opinions into account but i'd have luzzed the cheeky tart out & put up with the flak by now.
You're a more patient man than me mate. ::)
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Can't believe she's been logging into your business a/c's & discussing it with others the cheeky cow. I appreciate you taking your wife & kids opinions into account but i'd have luzzed the cheeky tart out & put up with the flak by now.
You're a more patient man than me mate. ::)
Going through confidential stuff that is none of your business is grounds for being out on your butt ASAP, IMHO. >:(
At least things are moving that way though.
Kevin
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Can't believe she's been logging into your business a/c's & discussing it with others the cheeky cow. I appreciate you taking your wife & kids opinions into account but i'd have luzzed the cheeky tart out & put up with the flak by now.
You're a more patient man than me mate. ::)
Going through confidential stuff that is none of your business is grounds for being out on your butt ASAP, IMHO. >:(
At least things are moving that way though.
Kevin
I agree, that is appalling, and she is your guest, that must actually be illegal, as has been said, get her out now, you know you are going to get the flack whatever your timescale, might as well get it over sooner than later. :y