Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Mr Skrunts on 07 February 2009, 15:47:01
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Actual hospital notes;
* The patient refused autopsy.
* The patient has no previous history of suicides.
* Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
* Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
* She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.
* Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
* On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it
disappeared.
* The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
* The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
* Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.
* Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but
forgetful.
* Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
* She is numb from her toes down.
* While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
*The skin was moist and dry.
*Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
*Patient was alert and unresponsive.
*Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
*She stated that she had been constipated for most of her
life until she got a divorce.
*I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.
* Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
* Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
* The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
* Skin: somewhat pale. but present.
* The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
* Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
* Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities
* When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room
* The patient was in his usual state of good health until his
Airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
* Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.
* She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in
separate directions in early December.
* Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we
should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
* The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took
a job as a stock broker instead.
* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped,
and he was feeling better.
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Its funny ::)..... but not really , quite scarey really :-/
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;D :y