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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 09:55:53

Title: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 09:55:53
Lets have em in here

If you dont like em.....dont look further down  :y
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 09:56:02
reports of jackson having a heart attack are incorrect, he was found in the childrens ward having a stroke
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 09:56:48
Seemingly Michael Jackson is to have his ashes scattered in a sandpit so the kids can still play with him!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 09:57:37
whats the difference between Alex Furguson & Michael Jackson?  Furgusson will be playing Giggs in August.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: mantahatch on 26 June 2009, 10:05:05
http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/4402/michaeljackson100recycl.jpg
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: mantahatch on 26 June 2009, 10:11:33
Because Michael Jackson is 99% plastic, he is going to be melted down and moulded into Lego bricks so the kids can play with him for a change...
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 10:13:20
They are gonna stick him in Tussauds as his own wax work
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 26 June 2009, 10:16:31
Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Culkin came to stay over for the weekend.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: kris on 26 June 2009, 10:17:45
Mcdonalds have brought out a McJackson burger
it's 50 yr old meat stuffed between two 8yr old buns
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 26 June 2009, 10:18:05

Their Making a Film about MJ's Life: The Hand That Robbed The Cradle
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 26 June 2009, 10:18:45
Paramedics said he never regained his color...
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: kris on 26 June 2009, 10:19:16
what a coincidence............
farrah fawcett and michael jackson both dying on the same day. 1 played with majors the other played with minors
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 26 June 2009, 10:19:47
According to reports there were drugs in the house too. They found Class A in the bathroom, and Class 4c in his bedroom!!!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Kevin Wood on 26 June 2009, 10:25:45
Just offered to make a coffee for a colleague. He said "Yes please, and it doesn't matter if it's black or white."  ;D

Kevin
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Ghost on 26 June 2009, 10:29:19
What is small brown warm and you find it in little boys shorts?
Micheal jacksons Hand
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 26 June 2009, 10:30:21
Thriller sequel boosted by unexpected cost reductions in make-up department.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 26 June 2009, 10:44:51
Michael Jackson died and went to heaven, St. Peter says, “you know Michael , we really can’t let you in here, you did a lot of bad things down on earth. Michael pleads with St. Peter to let him in and states that he’ll do anything to get in, not wanting to go to hell and all. St. Peter agrees to ask God if there is anything they can do, God tells St. Peter he’ll let Michael into heaven on one condition, he’ll have to fight someone and if he wins they’ll admit him. Michael agrees seeing its his only option. The pearly gates open and and Elvis walks out shouting, “where is that weird son of a bitch that married my daughter”
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 26 June 2009, 11:35:37
How many drinks have you had this morning Jimbob to celebrate your birthday?! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

Yours will be among the thousands of jokes that will be going around, but as in death as in life eh? 8-) 8-) :D :D ;)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: JamesV6CDX on 26 June 2009, 11:38:34
Q: Why was it unusual for Michael Jackson to wave a baby over a balcony?

A: He'd usually just toss it off...
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 11:43:30
Quote
How many drinks have you had this morning Jimbob to celebrate your birthday?! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

Yours will be among the thousands of jokes that will be going around, but as in death as in life eh? 8-) 8-) :D :D ;)


sorry to say just 2 cups of tea, sat at work, jokes flying around
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: razzo on 26 June 2009, 12:03:46
whats the difference between Michael Jackson & West Ham United




















West Ham will still be blowing bubbles in August  ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: jim351 on 26 June 2009, 12:08:45
Micheal Jackson has been refused entry to heaven...

dont blame it on the sunshine.....

dont blame it on the moonlight....

dont blame it on the goodtime...

blame it on the buggery!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: jim351 on 26 June 2009, 12:11:30
meat loaf is to release a tribute to Micheal Jackson


real dead singer with glove!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 26 June 2009, 12:43:39
Quote
Quote
How many drinks have you had this morning Jimbob to celebrate your birthday?! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)

Yours will be among the thousands of jokes that will be going around, but as in death as in life eh? 8-) 8-) :D :D ;)


sorry to say just 2 cups of tea, sat at work, jokes flying around

Ah yes always was a good breading ground for great jokes, that are [size=18]Thriller, Killers![/size] ;D ;D ;D  8-) 8-) ;)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 13:41:42
apparently C P R is not as easy as A B C.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 13:51:30
Jackos ghost has been sighted in a childrens hospital, looks like he will continue to try and put the willies up small children!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 13:52:19
I don’t understand all this bad feeling toward Michael Jackson.

It was only a string of minor offences.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 13:52:42
FOR SALE:

2x meet and greet Michael Jackson tickets, o2 London

£25 ono

Genuine reason for sale.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 13:53:21
There were four in the bed and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and MJ fell out, as he hit the ground his heart gave out ...
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Taxi_Driver on 26 June 2009, 14:57:53
I heard, MJ had got his last wish.
He is going to be melted down and made into plastic carrier bags, so that he can still be dangerous to children  ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lioned on 26 June 2009, 16:49:23
in the ambulance the doctor said "I think we should start CPR". The paramedic said, "no, we should start heart massage",the driver said "we should start on an adrenaline drip"...
Jacko gasping for air, said...
"For god sake..'.You wanna be starting something'
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Del Boy on 26 June 2009, 17:06:00
Quote
in the ambulance the doctor said "I think we should start CPR". The paramedic said, "no, we should start heart massage",the driver said "we should start on an adrenaline drip"...
Jacko gasping for air, said...
"For god sake..'.You wanna be starting something'
Hate to say it as I really liked his music etc, but these are all quality  ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 26 June 2009, 17:59:38
All gems Jimbob and everyone else who has contributed ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y

I love black humour, so keep it going folks!! 8-) 8-) 8-) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Ghost on 26 June 2009, 18:22:25
Quote
All gems Jimbob and everyone else who has contributed ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y

I love black humour, so keep it going folks!! 8-) 8-) 8-) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)
;Dgood one lizzie ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 18:35:26
Police say Michael Jackson's death could be suspicious. They are currently looking for a Smooth Criminal, who could be Black or White, but he's definately Bad and Dangerous. They got fingerprints Off The Wall and they say there was a Man In The Mirror, and A Stranger In Moscow who was Gone Too Soon. They would like Ben and Billie Jean to come forward, but they don't Wanna Be Startin' Somethin'. Police say they Don't Stop 'til they Get Enough evidence as they found Blood On The Dance Floor. It's going to be a tough case but Police say they will Beat It. Its a real Thriller.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 26 June 2009, 18:36:52
Quote
Quote
All gems Jimbob and everyone else who has contributed ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y

I love black humour, so keep it going folks!! 8-) 8-) 8-) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)
;Dgood one lizzie ;D


That is the only time I can be funny with my own joke, when I don't realise what I have said!! :o :o :o  Thanks to you GD I now do! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 18:40:46
Quote
All gems Jimbob and everyone else who has contributed ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y

I love black humour, so keep it going folks!! 8-) 8-) 8-) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)


and to keep the colour theme...

After many years of being unsure whether he was black or white, it briefly appeared last night that Michael Jackson had settled on blue.

In the end, though, he finally chose grey.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: waspy on 26 June 2009, 18:41:50
This is an appeal by the RSPCA- Wanted a good home for a very loving monkey called Bubbles. Bubbles is very freindly & likes to be w$£"ed off with a white glove.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 26 June 2009, 18:42:52
Quote
This is an appeal by the RSPCA- Wanted a good home for a very loving monkey called Bubbles. Bubbles is very freindly & likes to be w$£"ed off with a white glove.



Whats brown, furry, and hungry......Bubbles
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 26 June 2009, 18:43:15
Quote
Quote
All gems Jimbob and everyone else who has contributed ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y

I love black humour, so keep it going folks!! 8-) 8-) 8-) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;) ;)


and to keep the colour theme...

After many years of being unsure whether he was black or white, it briefly appeared last night that Michael Jackson had settled on blue.

In the end, though, he finally chose grey.

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D  but he will soon be black again... ::) ::) ;D ;D ;)

Sorry, I'll get me coat! ::) ::) ::) ;)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: tigers_gonads on 26 June 2009, 19:50:17
Jockeys at this weekends race meeting will wear black armbands out of respect for Wacko Jacko..

Who successfully rode more 3 year olds than anyone else in living memory..  ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: unlucky alf on 26 June 2009, 20:41:46
woody allen is very upset about jacko dying, he lent him two fives last week & expected a ten back! :o
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: iggy21uk on 26 June 2009, 20:47:33
What time did wacko jacko go to bed?...

When the big hand touched the little hand.  :-[
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: iggy21uk on 26 June 2009, 20:49:14
Reports coming in that Wacko drowned....

No body could be arsed to throw him a buoy.  :-[
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Taxi_Driver on 26 June 2009, 21:20:50
This isnt a joke, but i thought i'd put it in this thread.

I had a women passenger this morning that told me she had just won £100.

After I asked how.....she explained....

She had placed a £5 bet with a bookie at 20-1 that Jacko wouldnt appear at the concert @ O2

She went on to say tho....she hadnt expected him to '"snuff it"  ::)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Vamps on 26 June 2009, 21:31:46
These must have flown round the country this morning, I got into the office at 10.30, having been to a meeting and was amazed at the number of jokes and even more amazed at the type of some of the people who were telling them :D :D :D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omegatoy on 26 June 2009, 21:34:00
what does  janet jackson and the england cricket team have in common???









janet jackson is sure to get the ashes :y
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lioned on 27 June 2009, 00:14:20
Michaels funeral practice.........(http://www.b3tards.com/u/037e58b9e054b3c8dd7b/moonwalk.gif)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: astroblaster on 27 June 2009, 02:06:03
michael jacson died of food poisoning cos he was eating twelve year old nuts
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: astroblaster on 27 June 2009, 02:09:33
dear mrs jackson
i was very sorry to hear about your son michael. i just cant stop thinking about his children.
all my love
gary glitter
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: moggy on 27 June 2009, 08:14:48
 I Was told he was very ill at the end ,he'd been diagnosed  with nappy rash ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: GinoGinelli on 27 June 2009, 09:00:12
Michael Jackson’s body is not to be cremated or buried. It's to be recycled into grocery bags. That way he can continue to be white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: tigers_gonads on 27 June 2009, 11:15:57
Michael Jackson died of shock after finding out Boyz II Men was a band, not a delivery service.  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: tigers_gonads on 27 June 2009, 11:16:46
Michael Jackson's girlfriend has given her thoughts on the news "I'm devastated, 1st my parents leave me in Portugal, and now this..."  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: tigers_gonads on 27 June 2009, 11:18:44
I am deeply offended by the jokes surrounding Michael Jacksons death. He touched me in ways only a catholic priest would understand!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 27 June 2009, 11:22:57
Quote
I am deeply offended by the jokes surrounding Michael Jacksons death. He touched me in ways only a catholic priest would understand!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 27 June 2009, 11:29:26
Day 96 and Jade Goody gets a new housemate...
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 27 June 2009, 11:29:58
Doctors have confirmed that Michael Jackson will be donating his organs to kids. Again.
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Omega man 2 on 27 June 2009, 11:31:59
Finally we are gonna get a REAL Alien Autopsy!
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Banjax on 28 June 2009, 14:40:26
Farrah Fawcett gets to the pearly gates - St Peter says - Farrah, you've been an angel on earth - i'll grant you one wish before you enter heaven

Farrah thinks about this and finally says "i want the world to be a safer place for children..."

i'll get my coat  :-[

Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: tigers_gonads on 28 June 2009, 15:09:49
Macaulay Culkin has asked for Michael Jackson's ashes so he can sprinkle them onto his cornflakes. Apparently he wants to feel him slide out of his arse one last time.  ;D ;D












well it does say " sick joke thread "
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 28 June 2009, 15:18:46
Quote
Macaulay Culkin has asked for Michael Jackson's ashes so he can sprinkle them onto his cornflakes. Apparently he wants to feel him slide out of his arse one last time.  ;D ;D












well it does say " sick joke thread "

Yes, and they are getting worse!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D 8-) 8-)
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Jimbob on 29 June 2009, 08:50:11
"Doctor, Doctor, I've just sold out 50 massive gigs in London but I've changed my mind and I don't want to do it. Can you help me?"

Dr Shipman, "Yes, I can"
Title: Re: Michael Jackson - Sick Joke Thread
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 29 June 2009, 12:16:56
Quote
"Doctor, Doctor, I've just sold out 50 massive gigs in London but I've changed my mind and I don't want to do it. Can you help me?"

Dr Shipman, "Yes, I can"

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y