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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 22:29:21

Title: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 22:29:21
Inlight of the forthcoming season and, virtual as we are, how about a virtual conker comp??

Post up a pic of your prize specimen, suitably varnished/pickled/baked/dried in the crack of yer grandads harris/whatever BUT.......

.... you MUST have a pic complete with a ruler or grid square so we (admins and the great unwashed!) can judge and a poll can be created to suit.  ;D

Kinda gets shot of the strings too short/thick/stretchy argument but introduces other side arguments, subject to admin adjudication as required.....   ;)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: waspy on 14 September 2009, 22:32:32
Quote
Inlight of the forthcoming season and, virtual as we are, how about a virtual conker comp??

Post up a pic of your prize specimen, suitably varnished/pickled/baked/dried in the crack of yer grandads harris/whatever BUT.......

.... you MUST have a pic complete with a ruler or grid square so we (admins and the great unwashed!) can judge and a poll can be created to suit.  ;D

Kinda gets shot of the strings too short/thick/stretchy argument but introduces other side arguments, subject to admin adjudication as required.....   ;)

What now :o I've not showered yet ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 22:35:18
Just to avoid confusion ( and potential raids by the Porn Polis) we are talking the traditional schoolboy, end of a string, back corner of the playground 'ye twitched ya bandit' conker comp, not any sort of XXX rated cheapo porn show.....

ta!   :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: CaptainZok on 14 September 2009, 22:37:01
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Just to avoid confusion ( and potential raids by the Porn Polis) we are talking the traditional schoolboy, end of a string, back corner of the playground 'ye twitched ya bandit' conker comp, not any sort of XXX rated cheapo porn show.....

ta!   :y
Thanks for clearing that up Broocie, I expect the Pink Peril was getting ready to amaze us with his prowess. ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: waspy on 14 September 2009, 22:38:32
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Just to avoid confusion ( and potential raids by the Porn Polis) we are talking the traditional schoolboy, end of a string, back corner of the playground 'ye twitched ya bandit' conker comp, not any sort of XXX rated cheapo porn show.....

ta!   :y


I'll show you mine if you'll show me your's ;)
You played that to H21 :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 September 2009, 22:57:01
Here is a close up of my conker

(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s304/Loo-knee/appleconker.jpg)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 23:01:46
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Here is a close up of my conker

(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s304/Loo-knee/appleconker.jpg)

Sorry, thats disqualified on a couple of counts...

Its a) apple and b) no ruler to compare the size with.

PS - No photoshops allowed.  Try to make it a straight (!) competition and, who knows, a bottle of my local firewater may well be in the offing to the lucky winner.....   ;)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 September 2009, 23:04:04
That is a Stokie Conker!!
Photoshop what is that :o
Have not got a ruler ::)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 23:05:00
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That is a Stokie Conker!!
Photoshop what is that :o
Have not got a ruler ::)

Wanna get barred at the first hurdle, laddie???   ;)   :-*
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 September 2009, 23:06:18
Dad, you are a spoil sport  ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 23:07:19
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Dad, you are a spoil sport  ;D
Just trying to get a level playing field, young fella me lad.....   ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 14 September 2009, 23:07:42
you tell him H21.  :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 23:10:22
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you tell him H21.  :D

 ;)

Come on you lot.  Get off yer rears and get swinging the 4 x 2 into your fave conker tree in the morning...  Get yer pics posted and we will try to get something sorted as regards a poll.  I will put up a wee prize for the winner, delivered to their door....    :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 14 September 2009, 23:10:37
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Quote
Here is a close up of my conker

(http://i155.photobucket.com/albums/s304/Loo-knee/appleconker.jpg)

Sorry, thats disqualified on a couple of counts...

Its a) apple and b) no ruler to compare the size with.

PS - No photoshops allowed.  Try to make it a straight (!) competition and, who knows, a bottle of my local firewater may well be in the offing to the lucky winner.....   ;)

Looks like I am taking Little Miss Vamps conkering at the weekend then, noticed a few on the way home from work, in a place where there are not many kids... :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 September 2009, 23:11:25
Got no conker tree's in Stoke :'(
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 23:12:32
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Got no conker tree's in Stoke :'(
When you off to the smoke?  Plenty biggun's daaaaaarn saaaaarffff.   ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 14 September 2009, 23:14:08
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Got no conker tree's in Stoke :'(
i will look for some daz & bring one over on saturday. :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 September 2009, 23:15:19
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Got no conker tree's in Stoke :'(
i will look for some daz & bring one over on saturday. :y

Done :y just been outside looking through the pebbles ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 14 September 2009, 23:16:07
What is the date of te competition, as it is a tad early at the moment.. :)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: hotel21 on 14 September 2009, 23:18:10
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What is the date of te competition, as it is a tad early at the moment.. :)

The end date is a wee bit flexible, given the range of maturation of conkers through the north/south length of OOFland.  Lets just see how it runs....   ;)

Will name the prize at a bottle of malt, delivered to the winner.   8-)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 September 2009, 23:21:53
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What is the date of te competition, as it is a tad early at the moment.. :)

The end date is a wee bit flexible, given the range of maturation of conkers through the north/south length of OOFland.  Lets just see how it runs....   ;)


To cold in my Bonnie Homeland for Conkers, you freeze your conkers off so there is my proof :D ;D :-*
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: dad1uk on 15 September 2009, 07:44:41
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Got no conker tree's in Stoke :'(


No conkers, but there are a few nuts  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 15 September 2009, 08:48:40
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Got no conker tree's in Stoke :'(


No conkers, but there are a few nuts  ;D ;D
:D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Banjax on 15 September 2009, 08:55:40
great idea  :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Martin_1962 on 15 September 2009, 09:54:52
Got a couple around 4 foot high and a few around 1.5 foot
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 19 September 2009, 22:26:41
(http://i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp16/jonthenut_bucket/conk1.jpg)
here you go. :o
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: tomoco on 19 September 2009, 22:47:49
Thats not a conker, unless dogs up your way lay conkers ;D
but it does have a ruler in the picture :D
gonna find a big one tomorrow
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Richie London on 19 September 2009, 23:08:03
i forgot all about this, ive been playing marbles all week and scrumping  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 19 September 2009, 23:31:49
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i forgot all about this, ive been playing marbles all week and scrumping  ;D ;D ;D
now thats summat i aint done for years. :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Richie London on 19 September 2009, 23:43:02
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i forgot all about this, ive been playing marbles all week and scrumping  ;D ;D ;D
now thats summat i aint done for years. :D

theres a nice apple tree up the rd, no need to jump the fence now, i can just reach up and grab one l ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 19 September 2009, 23:44:06
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i forgot all about this, ive been playing marbles all week and scrumping  ;D ;D ;D
now thats summat i aint done for years. :D

I was thinking that :D think I would have been about 13 or 14 last time scrumping and about 2 weeks since I last played marbles... ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 19 September 2009, 23:50:41
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Quote
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i forgot all about this, ive been playing marbles all week and scrumping  ;D ;D ;D
now thats summat i aint done for years. :D

I was thinking that :D think I would have been about 13 or 14 last time scrumping and about 2 weeks since I lost my marbles... ;D ;D
really :o
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 20 September 2009, 00:06:02
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Quote
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i forgot all about this, ive been playing marbles all week and scrumping  ;D ;D ;D
now thats summat i aint done for years. :D

I was thinking that :D think I would have been about 13 or 14 last time scrumping and about 2 weeks since I lost my marbles... ;D ;D
really :o

That's not far off the truth....... :P :P :P
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: The Red Baron on 13 October 2009, 22:56:05
looks like this was a knockout :D what happened :o
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Lazydocker on 13 October 2009, 23:01:45
I hadn't even seen this one!!!

I'll have a look about, see if I can put a bit of competition up ;D ;D ;D

I'm actually taking part in an Inter-Pub Conker Match on November 1st :y :y :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: ali on 13 October 2009, 23:07:39
so wheres all your conkers ::) I have enough conkers for everyone, they wake me up falling on the kennel roof :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: CaptainZok on 13 October 2009, 23:08:18
(http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m302/CaptainZok/MassiveConker.jpg)

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: ali on 13 October 2009, 23:09:33
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D that doesnt count theres no ruler :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 13 October 2009, 23:10:34
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so wheres all your conkers ::) I have enough conkers for everyone, they wake me up falling on the kennel roof :D :D :D :D

Why are you sleeping in the kennel Ali as he kicked you out of bed? ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 13 October 2009, 23:11:22
Little Miss Vamps and myself went conkering, I took some extendable loppers, about 20 feet and we got loads :y  All the really big one's are still, out of reach, on the top of the tree.....still early yet :y :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: ali on 13 October 2009, 23:14:28
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so wheres all your conkers ::) I have enough conkers for everyone, they wake me up falling on the kennel roof :D :D :D :D

Why are you sleeping in the kennel Ali as he kicked you out of bed? ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I could give you several answers but I wont :-X :-X :-X :D :D :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 13 October 2009, 23:15:48
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Quote
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so wheres all your conkers ::) I have enough conkers for everyone, they wake me up falling on the kennel roof :D :D :D :D

Why are you sleeping in the kennel Ali as he kicked you out of bed? ;D ;D ;D

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D I could give you several answers but I wont :-X :-X :-X :D :D :D


I have a few for ya ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: ali on 13 October 2009, 23:16:15
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Little Miss Vamps and myself went conkering, I took some extendable loppers, about 20 feet and we got loads :y  All the really big one's are still, out of reach, on the top of the tree.....still early yet :y :y
Just wait for the squirrels to get the best ones, then shoot them ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 13 October 2009, 23:19:49
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Little Miss Vamps and myself went conkering, I took some extendable loppers, about 20 feet and we got loads :y  All the really big one's are still, out of reach, on the top of the tree.....still early yet :y :y
Just wait for the squirrels to get the best ones, then shoot them ;D ;D ;D ;D

They are as well ::) ::) Couple of weeks ago was in the grounds of a psyc hospital and went exploring the conker trees, squirrels were doing a great job of pinching them and not scared, you could get really close to them ::) :) :)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: CaptainZok on 13 October 2009, 23:51:25
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D that doesnt count theres no ruler :D :D :D :D
Bloke driving the crane has one in his pocket. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: albitz on 13 October 2009, 23:58:44
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Quote
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Little Miss Vamps and myself went conkering, I took some extendable loppers, about 20 feet and we got loads :y  All the really big one's are still, out of reach, on the top of the tree.....still early yet :y :y
Just wait for the squirrels to get the best ones, then shoot them ;D ;D ;D ;D

They are as well ::) ::) Couple of weeks ago I was admitted to a psyc hospital and went exploring the conker trees, squirrels were doing a great job of pinching them and not scared, you could get really close to them ::) :) :)
Kept that one quiet Vamps. ::)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 14 October 2009, 00:16:09
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Quote
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Little Miss Vamps and myself went conkering, I took some extendable loppers, about 20 feet and we got loads :y  All the really big one's are still, out of reach, on the top of the tree.....still early yet :y :y
Just wait for the squirrels to get the best ones, then shoot them ;D ;D ;D ;D

They are as well ::) ::) Couple of weeks ago I was admitted to a psyc hospital and went exploring the conker trees, squirrels were doing a great job of pinching them and not scared, you could get really close to them ::) :) :)
Kept that one quiet Vamps. ::)

It's OK, they let me out again........ :D :D :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: albitz on 14 October 2009, 00:20:44
were you swinging from the trees with the squirrels ? :D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 October 2009, 00:24:27
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were you swinging from the trees with the squirrels ? :D ;D

Bit weird is Vamps, just wanted the squirrels to play with his nuts have you ever heard anything like it :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 14 October 2009, 00:25:24
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were you swinging from the trees with the squirrels ? :D ;D

I thought I recognised you ::) how else would you know, your secrets safe,confidentiality and all that ;)  got no 'beds' in Suffolk then...... :P :P :D :D :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: albitz on 14 October 2009, 00:29:07
They wont have me in this area anymore vamps,sent me oop narth,to see if they could calm me down.They did sort me out in the end to be fair.I let slip to a doctor that I knew Loo Knee and he said that explains so much. :y
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 October 2009, 00:35:57
You lot are spoiling my Dads post, if you don't stop it I will have no choice but to tell of ya  :P
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: albitz on 14 October 2009, 00:40:03
Whats it to you anyway ? i heard they dont have any trees in Stoke. :P :D ;D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 October 2009, 00:41:14
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Whats it to you anyway ? i heard they dont have any trees in Stoke. :P :D ;D

You must have big ears to hear that distance ::)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Vamps on 14 October 2009, 00:41:19
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You lot are spoiling my Dads post, if you don't stop it I will have no choice but to tell of ya  :P

This is a conker post and my Conker (Well Miss Vamps, but I want the Whisky :D)  is bigger than yours...... :D :D :D
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 14 October 2009, 00:43:36
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You lot are spoiling my Dads post, if you don't stop it I will have no choice but to tell of ya  :P

This is a conker post and my Conker (Well Miss Vamps, but I want the Whisky :D)  is bigger than yours...... :D :D :D

I have got the biggest conker my Dad had seen, the camera wont actually get it all in the lens.. but then if i won anyway it would be favouritism so I aint bothering :(
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: albitz on 14 October 2009, 00:45:17
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Quote
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You lot are spoiling my Dads post, if you don't stop it I will have no choice but to tell of ya  :P

This is a conker post and my Conker (Well Miss Vamps, but I want the Whisky :D)  is bigger than yours...... :D :D :D

I have got the biggest conk my Dad had seen, the camera wont actually get it all in the lens.. but then if i won anyway it would be favouritism so I aint bothering :(
Cant say that I noticed. :-? :-/ ::)
Title: Re: Conker comp
Post by: Plomien on 14 October 2009, 09:12:18
I went hunting for some with my son the other day at my parents house as they normally have a bumper crop but not a single one this year, very odd :o