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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: HolyCount on 24 December 2009, 17:17:32

Title: Euro English
Post by: HolyCount on 24 December 2009, 17:17:32
Here is something for you cunning linguists to get your tongues around:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-
year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.. The hard “c” will be dropped
in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This
will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peple wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th”
with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords
kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas.
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: Dishevelled Den on 24 December 2009, 17:29:36
As it will only be a matter of time, a gentle reminder from our sponsors:y :y



[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9kxZtLY5p4[/media]
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 December 2009, 17:36:48
 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: Pitchfork on 24 December 2009, 17:37:26
Like most National Anthems, a bloody good tune but suspect lyrics (That includes ours BTW)
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: sexydaz on 24 December 2009, 17:37:38
 :y
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: Dishevelled Den on 24 December 2009, 17:56:19
Quote
Like most National Anthems, a bloody good tune but suspect lyrics (That includes ours BTW)


Indeed so PF, the devil always resides in the detail ;) ;) :y



Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: STMO999 on 24 December 2009, 17:58:22
Quote
Quote
Like most National Anthems, a bloody good tune but suspect lyrics (That includes ours BTW)


Indeed so PF, the devil always resides in the detail ;) ;) :y





I rather like the bit about crushing rebellious Scots. In fact, it's the best bit.
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: bertiecbx550 on 24 December 2009, 20:27:22
Ah so refreshing it makes ya wanna watch The Dam Busters or The Great Escape dont it???? ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: markfree on 24 December 2009, 20:27:29
Quote
Quote
Quote
Like most National Anthems, a bloody good tune but suspect lyrics (That includes ours BTW)


Indeed so PF, the devil always resides in the detail ;) ;) :y





I rather like the bit about crushing rebellious Scots. In fact, it's the best bit.

Our Leader, Bonnie Prince Alex Sammond would wipe the floor with you :)
Title: Re: Euro English
Post by: STMO999 on 24 December 2009, 20:43:19
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Like most National Anthems, a bloody good tune but suspect lyrics (That includes ours BTW)


Indeed so PF, the devil always resides in the detail ;) ;) :y





I rather like the bit about crushing rebellious Scots. In fact, it's the best bit.

Our Leader, Bonnie Prince Alex Sammond would wipe the floor with you :)


I reckon I could have him but, please, not the proclaimers. I surrender.