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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 18:31:58

Title: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 18:31:58
As per the title....

I have just read the now (sadly) locked thread of Gaffers regarding the above and agree wholeheartedly with its initial sentiments.

We had similar whilst at the Scottish Police College with dining in nights, proper full dress, passing the port, speeches and toasts etc etc etc.  Afterwards, all off to the large comfy lounge with (Chesterfields?) couches, the open fire and nightcaps.  Many a capture was retold to a varied mixture of surprise, understanding, mickey taking and my tale is going to be taller than yours...   ;)

Also, similar to Gaffers to be had by me as but a plooky yoof in the Merchant Navy.  Proper dress for meals in the saloon, duty mess hovel if in a boilersuit, upstairs into the bar for brandy and medals afterwards.

Main theme through all the above is....

We talked and discussed matters with common interest, disputed things that annoyed us (sometimes quite heatedly...) but, most importantly, understood and made allowances for all sorts and never to adopt any moral high ground against another, and particularly to never make assumptions as to the person.

Conversation....  Great stuff....   ;)   

Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: TheBoy on 08 January 2010, 18:34:01
Bang on :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: tunnie on 08 January 2010, 18:37:09
i've never seen 'allowances' for me being a student  ::) Just a constant pi$$ take  ;D

But... its all good stuff, and i take the pi$$ too, some people take things way too seriously
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 18:43:55
Quote
As per the title....

I have just read the now (sadly) locked thread of Gaffers regarding the above and agree wholeheartedly with its initial sentiments.

We had similar whilst at the Scottish Police College with dining in nights, proper full dress, passing the port, speeches and toasts etc etc etc.  Afterwards, all off to the large comfy lounge with (Chesterfields?) couches, the open fire and nightcaps.  Many a capture was retold to a varied mixture of surprise, understanding, mickey taking and my tale is going to be taller than yours...   ;)

Also, similar to Gaffers to be had by me as but a plooky yoof in the Merchant Navy.  Proper dress for meals in the saloon, duty mess hovel if in a boilersuit, upstairs into the bar for brandy and medals afterwards.

Main theme through all the above is....

We talked and discussed matters with common interest, disputed things that annoyed us (sometimes quite heatedly...) but, most importantly, understood and made allowances for all sorts and never to adopt any moral high ground against another, and particularly to never make assumptions as to the person.

Conversation....  Great stuff....   ;)   



You can do all of that in any boozer, minus the dress code.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: albitz on 08 January 2010, 18:46:41
Very nicely worded indeed H21, but way too subtle to do its intended job imo. ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 18:47:36
Quote
Quote
As per the title....

I have just read the now (sadly) locked thread of Gaffers regarding the above and agree wholeheartedly with its initial sentiments.

We had similar whilst at the Scottish Police College with dining in nights, proper full dress, passing the port, speeches and toasts etc etc etc.  Afterwards, all off to the large comfy lounge with (Chesterfields?) couches, the open fire and nightcaps.  Many a capture was retold to a varied mixture of surprise, understanding, mickey taking and my tale is going to be taller than yours...   ;)

Also, similar to Gaffers to be had by me as but a plooky yoof in the Merchant Navy.  Proper dress for meals in the saloon, duty mess hovel if in a boilersuit, upstairs into the bar for brandy and medals afterwards.

Main theme through all the above is....

We talked and discussed matters with common interest, disputed things that annoyed us (sometimes quite heatedly...) but, most importantly, understood and made allowances for all sorts and never to adopt any moral high ground against another, and particularly to never make assumptions as to the person.

Conversation....  Great stuff....   ;)   



You can do all of that in any boozer, minus the dress code.

Exactly my point and, I think, that initially posted by Gaffers.    :y

You certainly cannot argue that the British Merchant Navy (as was, now, sadly, not really any longer) nor indeed the Police Service were bastions of the 'bool in mooth' types of monied background and disputable ability.  Both are as classless as they come, in my opinion..... 
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 18:56:10
Quote
Very nicely worded indeed H21, but way too subtle to do its intended job imo. ;)


You stirrin it again Sunshine? ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Entwood on 08 January 2010, 19:43:57
H21 .. what you have just described is a "conversation" .. where one person speaks and the other listens, the roles are then reversed.

Modern pubs, TV, family, whatever all seem to think that standing shouting at each other is getting their point across... no-one actualy listens to anything anyone else says .. only to themselves.

Those who have never taken part in "mess life" where old fashioned rules of etiquette, politeness and friendliness, even when in disagreement, will never understand, and unfortunately many don't even want to.... believing instead the "privelidged" idea pushed out by the Sun and other tabloids.

There is no way I could ever be "termed" priveliged ... my father came from the Old Traford area of Manchester from between the wars. It took me some while to understand "mess rules" but they work because they have been formulated over many years... and they work.....  :)

I did 38 years "in the mess" and I wouldn't change a single thing.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Pitchfork on 08 January 2010, 19:58:47
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Banjax on 08 January 2010, 20:04:38
there was a class war and i missed it??? damn  >:( ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 20:05:29
Quote
H21 .. what you have just described is a "conversation" .. where one person speaks and the other listens, the roles are then reversed.

Modern pubs, TV, family, whatever all seem to think that standing shouting at each other is getting their point across... no-one actualy listens to anything anyone else says .. only to themselves.

Those who have never taken part in "mess life" where old fashioned rules of etiquette, politeness and friendliness, even when in disagreement, will never understand, and unfortunately many don't even want to.... believing instead the "privelidged" idea pushed out by the Sun and other tabloids.

There is no way I could ever be "termed" priveliged ... my father came from the Old Traford area of Manchester from between the wars. It took me some while to understand "mess rules" but they work because they have been formulated over many years... and they work.....  :)

I did 38 years "in the mess" and I wouldn't change a single thing.


Hence the title, the art of respectful conversation....   :y

Can be had by a handfull of old codgers playing dominoes or brag in the snug, by a group in a bar, by relative strangers on a web forum, folks sat upon around a pool on a fortnight to Benidorm, or within the confines/limits/rules of the 'mess' environment.  Either way, a respectfull conversation ensues within aknowledged limits and, in respect of Gaffers (and others) situation, a further understanding that, when the chips go down, you can rely on the professionalism of your erstwhile mess combattant to watch your back when it gets a tad rough, irrespective of their background...  8-)

Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: pedroMV6 on 08 January 2010, 20:17:10
The art of Conversation is about dead, in my opinion.

Where one would put across his opinion to another and get shot down in the gentlest of terms, or be in total agreement in reply.

Mind you, that's how wars start! :o

Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: albitz on 08 January 2010, 20:20:25
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card
Seconded. :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: feeutfo on 08 January 2010, 20:44:49
Quote
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card

Seconded. :y
nope, we're all learning, not all about cars...conversation too. I've learnt alot on here, how "not" to behave being one of them....maybe? possibly?
 :-/ ;)

....i guess you do have to learn though.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 20:47:00
Quote
Quote
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card

Seconded. :y
nope, we're all learning, not all about cars...conversation too. I've learnt alot on here, how "not" to behave being one of them....maybe? possibly?
 :-/ ;)

....i guess you do have to learn though.


Yes. I taught you well, my son. ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Andy B on 08 January 2010, 20:50:58
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 20:51:47
Quote
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/


Mind your own business.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 20:52:08
That's me, conversing :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Welung666 on 08 January 2010, 20:54:05
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That's me, conversing :y

And an excellent job you're making of it ;) ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Andy B on 08 January 2010, 20:54:44
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That's me, conversing :y

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: LJay on 08 January 2010, 20:55:58
Quote
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card
Seconded. :y

I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 21:06:58
Quote
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/
F**k all by the looks of it.

At no point did G's thread degenerate to the stage where it was getting anywhere near heated.


@ Kevin,

I am truly stunned mate.

If you think that a thread needs closing because it is going "nowhere", maybe it's time you changed your name to "comrade"

 :( :( :(
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Gaffers on 08 January 2010, 21:11:20
Quote
Quote
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/
F**k all by the looks of it.

At no point did G's thread degenerate to the stage where it was getting anywhere near heated.


@ Kevin,

I am truly stunned mate.

If you think that a thread needs closing because it is going "nowhere", maybe it's time you changed your name to "comrade"

 :( :( :(

tbh Mark I'm glad he did, I was geting bored of my words falling on deaf ears.  If I wanted that I'd just go speak to swmbo ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 21:11:39
Quote
Quote
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/
F**k all by the looks of it.

At no point did G's thread degenerate to the stage where it was getting anywhere near heated.


@ Kevin,

I am truly stunned mate.

If you think that a thread needs closing because it is going "nowhere", maybe it's time you changed your name to "comrade"

 :( :( :(


A few of these:  >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( and that's yer lot mate ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 21:16:30
Quote
Quote
Quote
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/
F**k all by the looks of it.

At no point did G's thread degenerate to the stage where it was getting anywhere near heated.


@ Kevin,

I am truly stunned mate.

If you think that a thread needs closing because it is going "nowhere", maybe it's time you changed your name to "comrade"

 :( :( :(

tbh Mark I'm glad he did, I was geting bored of my words falling on deaf ears.  If I wanted that I'd just go speak to swmbo ;D ;D ;D
PMSL @ the other half crack.

But seriously, I've met Kev in real life (as I have you), and I pretty much had him pegged as one of the sensible one's here.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: albitz on 08 January 2010, 21:17:25
Quote
Quote
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card
Seconded. :y

I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!
Yes it is. Every once in a while Ljay you seem to get the red mist with someone and steam into them,sometimes in quite a personal even nasty manner imo.Tonight it was Gaffers,a while ago it was Ali, and there have been others before that.
I can understand someone having a short fuse ,but I think that when they have had time to think and reflect the best thing to do is to hold their hands up and apoligise ,but that doesnt seem to be your style.It creates a bad atmosphere on the forum and goes against the grain of the community spirit which is meant to be what we are about here, and because of that there have been occasions in the past when imo the admins should really have taken some action to stop it.
This isnt intended to be a personal attack btw,just being honest,not "back handed" and trying to answer your question.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: feeutfo on 08 January 2010, 21:24:55
Quote
Quote
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card
Seconded. :y

I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!
take a hint Ljay, defcon 1. ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: pedroMV6 on 08 January 2010, 21:29:08
Quote
I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!

Bloody hell - not been on the AutoBahnStormers forum, have you? ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Andy B on 08 January 2010, 21:30:29
Quote
Quote
I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!

Bloody hell - not been on the AutoBahnStormers forum, have you? ;D ;D ;D

Now now Pete! ::) ::) ;) ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Vamps on 08 January 2010, 21:31:07
Quote
What've I missed?  :-/ :-/

Not sure, off to have a look..... :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: pedroMV6 on 08 January 2010, 21:32:36
Quote
Quote
Quote
I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!

Bloody hell - not been on the AutoBahnStormers forum, have you? ;D ;D ;D

Now now Pete! ::) ::) ;) ;D ;D

Yeah, but it's all cock and balls innit! ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: pedroMV6 on 08 January 2010, 21:32:56
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!

Bloody hell - not been on the AutoBahnStormers forum, have you? ;D ;D ;D

Now now Pete! ::) ::) ;) ;D ;D

Yeah, but it's all ckoc and balls innit! ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: LJay on 08 January 2010, 21:44:52
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Quote
Quote
Quote
It occurs to me that the same people become abusive in their responses to postings & perhaps the 'Banned' option should be exercised until they make a commitment to be civil i.e. Yellow Card
Seconded. :y

I presume thats aimed at me!
Presumably for daring to have an opinion that stands outside the old boys network!
And I guess because I will give my opinions in public and not in a backhand manner!
Yes it is. Every once in a while Ljay you seem to get the red mist with someone and steam into them,sometimes in quite a personal even nasty manner imo.Tonight it was Gaffers,a while ago it was Ali, and there have been others before that.
I can understand someone having a short fuse ,but I think that when they have had time to think and reflect the best thing to do is to hold their hands up and apoligise ,but that doesnt seem to be your style.It creates a bad atmosphere on the forum and goes against the grain of the community spirit which is meant to be what we are about here, and because of that there have been occasions in the past when imo the admins should really have taken some action to stop it.
This isnt intended to be a personal attack btw,just being honest,not "back handed" and trying to answer your question.

Christ theres nowt like holding a grudge on someone elses behalf is there!
Not a personal attack? you're slating me for less!
Albs, theres an alert mod button, I suggest you use it and let them react as they see fit!
I despise backhanded comments and your earlier post was just that, if you have something to say say it don't just hint!
This thread was seperate from the last one and as such someone elses arguement didn't need bringing in to it!
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 21:48:15
Quote
Albs, theres an alert mod button, I suggest you use it and let them react as they see fit!
You know as well as I do how the "alert mod" button works.


For those that don't know, it works like this....


Pressing of the "alert mod" button sends a global mail to ALL mods/admins.
First mod/admin who edits the thread (if it needs it) is the ONLY person who gets to see what was originally written.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: albitz on 08 January 2010, 21:49:58
I rest my case. Nuff said, not going to get involved in yet another thread degenerating into a slanging match. ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: LJay on 08 January 2010, 21:50:56
Quote
Quote
Albs, theres an alert mod button, I suggest you use it and let them react as they see fit!
You know as well as I do how the "alert mod" button works.


For those that don't know, it works like this....


Pressing of the "alert mod" button sends a global mail to ALL mods/admins.
First mod/admin who edits the thread (if it needs it) is the ONLY person who gets to see what was originally written.

I'm guessing thats all thats needed, seeing as he's requesting i be banned or yellow carded!
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: LJay on 08 January 2010, 21:51:56
Quote
I rest my case. Nuff said, not going to get involved in yet another thread degenerating into a slanging match. ;)

You did the degenerating my love, can't back up your attack though can you! ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 21:55:20
Quote
Quote
Quote
Albs, theres an alert mod button, I suggest you use it and let them react as they see fit!
You know as well as I do how the "alert mod" button works.


For those that don't know, it works like this....


Pressing of the "alert mod" button sends a global mail to ALL mods/admins.
First mod/admin who edits the thread (if it needs it) is the ONLY person who gets to see what was originally written.

I'm guessing thats all thats needed, seeing as he's requesting i be banned or yellow carded!

Whats perhaps suggested is that you re-read the initial post of this thread and rejoin conversation rather than standing on a soapbox shouting everything....

!!!!!!!!

 ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: LJay on 08 January 2010, 21:56:11
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Albs, theres an alert mod button, I suggest you use it and let them react as they see fit!
You know as well as I do how the "alert mod" button works.


For those that don't know, it works like this....


Pressing of the "alert mod" button sends a global mail to ALL mods/admins.
First mod/admin who edits the thread (if it needs it) is the ONLY person who gets to see what was originally written.

I'm guessing thats all thats needed, seeing as he's requesting i be banned or yellow carded!

Whats perhaps suggested is that you re-read the initial post of this thread and rejoin conversation rather than standing on a soapbox shouting everything....

!!!!!!!!

 ;)

predictable!
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 21:57:10
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
Albs, theres an alert mod button, I suggest you use it and let them react as they see fit!
You know as well as I do how the "alert mod" button works.


For those that don't know, it works like this....


Pressing of the "alert mod" button sends a global mail to ALL mods/admins.
First mod/admin who edits the thread (if it needs it) is the ONLY person who gets to see what was originally written.

I'm guessing thats all thats needed, seeing as he's requesting i be banned or yellow carded!

Whats perhaps suggested is that you re-read the initial post of this thread and rejoin conversation rather than standing on a soapbox shouting everything....

!!!!!!!!

 ;)

predictable!
because I started the thread, or is something else running through your mind.... /
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 21:58:40
Quote
I'm guessing thats all thats needed, seeing as he's requesting i be banned or yellow carded!
I have never seen you write anything here that would warrant a ban, however you have definately been "chopsy" on more occasions than what I ever have.....and as I have had the "yellow" card for my outbursts in the past, I see no reason why you shouldn't have been on the naughty step at some point.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 22:00:58
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Quote
I'm guessing thats all thats needed, seeing as he's requesting i be banned or yellow carded!
I have never seen you write anything here that would warrant a ban, however you have definately been "chopsy" on more occasions than what I ever have.....and as I have had the "yellow" card for my outbursts in the past, I see no reason why you shouldn't have been on the naughty step at some point.

Different, but related, situation.  We have previously conversed regarding your use of inappropriate language and have now reached what appears to be a mutual understanding....  :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 22:03:54
I do hope this doesn't deteriorate into a shouting match. I'd have to stay up.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 22:09:39
Oh they've all gone quiet over there, they've all gone quiet over there.....
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 08 January 2010, 22:13:06
Quote
Oh they've all gone quiet over there, they've all gone quiet over there.....

They're hoping you go to bed so they can carry on with out you butting in.   ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 22:13:59
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Quote
Oh they've all gone quiet over there, they've all gone quiet over there.....

They're hoping you go to bed so they can carry on with out you butting in.   ;D

I'm staying up. Even if it gets to half past ten ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 22:20:50
Quote
We have previously conversed regarding your use of inappropriate language and have now reached what appears to be a mutual understanding....  :y
Expletives are part of my every day language H, have been since the age of 2, and will no doubt continue to be until the day I die.

What differentiates real life from the forum is you can tell exactly what I mean if I use an expletive when talking to you face to face, hence there is no misinterpretation.


PS

Did you know that the actual "spoken word" only accounts for 7% of what we actually "hear"?
The other 93% of what we "hear" is made up from tone of voice, body language, etc.


Just goes to show how restrictive text based communication is eh?  ;)




Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 08 January 2010, 22:23:14
Quote
Quote
We have previously conversed regarding your use of inappropriate language and have now reached what appears to be a mutual understanding....  :y
Expletives are part of my every day language H, have been since the age of 2, and will no doubt continue to be until the day I die.

What differentiates real life from the forum is you can tell exactly what I mean if I use an expletive when talking to you face to face, hence there is no misinterpretation.


PS

Did you know that the actual "spoken word" only accounts for 7% of what we actually "hear"?
The other 93% of what we "hear" is made up from tone of voice, body language, etc.


Just goes to show how restrictive text based communication is eh?  ;)






I'm gonna take some pictures of myself, in different poses, and the break everyone up by putting the wrong picture with the text ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 22:27:57
Quote
Quote
We have previously conversed regarding your use of inappropriate language and have now reached what appears to be a mutual understanding....  :y
Expletives are part of my every day language H, have been since the age of 2, and will no doubt continue to be until the day I die.

What differentiates real life from the forum is you can tell exactly what I mean if I use an expletive when talking to you face to face, hence there is no misinterpretation.


PS

Did you know that the actual "spoken word" only accounts for 7% of what we actually "hear"?
The other 93% of what we "hear" is made up from tone of voice, body language, etc.


Just goes to show how restrictive text based communication is eh?  ;)

I have no problem as to how you speak in every day circumstances and indeed, would back your ability to do it....  Other than on here, as said so many times previously.   :y  If you gave it large and chapter and verse language in the middle of a shop, or other public place, we both know what the possible outcome would be.  Same with here.  We know that a line is drawn and we all respect it.  Ta...

ps - know about body language, had almost 30 years of peacekeeping training to learn it....    ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 22:28:32
Quote
Quote
Quote
We have previously conversed regarding your use of inappropriate language and have now reached what appears to be a mutual understanding....  :y
Expletives are part of my every day language H, have been since the age of 2, and will no doubt continue to be until the day I die.

What differentiates real life from the forum is you can tell exactly what I mean if I use an expletive when talking to you face to face, hence there is no misinterpretation.


PS

Did you know that the actual "spoken word" only accounts for 7% of what we actually "hear"?
The other 93% of what we "hear" is made up from tone of voice, body language, etc.


Just goes to show how restrictive text based communication is eh?  ;)






I'm gonna take some pictures of myself, in different poses, and the break everyone up by putting the wrong picture with the text ;D

dare you.....  Double Dare you!!   ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: albitz on 08 January 2010, 22:31:10
And then you encountered Loo Knee/STMO/Mike Dundee/Killerwatt, etc etc and realised your 30 years of training hadnt prepared you for all of lifes eventualities. :y ::) :D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 22:33:15
Quote
I have no problem as to how you speak in every day circumstances and indeed, would back your ability to do it....  Other than on here,
You sound a bit like my old man H.

He'd say......

"Boy, I respect your right to do & say as you please, and I will fight with you for that right........except when I say otherwise"

My old man had my utmost respect.....right up until he uttered the last five words.


Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: hotel21 on 08 January 2010, 22:35:54
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Quote
I have no problem as to how you speak in every day circumstances and indeed, would back your ability to do it....  Other than on here,
You sound a bit like my old man H.

He'd say......

"Boy, I respect your right to do & say as you please, and I will fight with you for that right........except when I say otherwise"

My old man had my utmost respect.....right up until he uttered the last five words.



Fair enough....

Could those words also have been, 'not in my house, son?'...

Not wanting to cast over old stones, we have said our respective piece on the matter...   :y 

Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: KillerWatt on 08 January 2010, 23:02:20
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Not wanting to cast over old stones, we have said our respective piece on the matter...   :y 

Please let me make it clear now H........this isn't old ground, point score, whatever.........I'm working on the thread title....Respectful Conversation.


Dunno whether I've OD'd on my meds tonight, or it's this latest batch of weed......either way though I'm kinda liking the mellow me.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Kevin Wood on 09 January 2010, 20:59:42
On reflection I would like to appologise to those who might have otherwise made a useful contribution to Gaffers' thread yesterday had it not been locked. My decision probably reflected more my personal frustration with the way the discussion was heading and the fact that I was about to go out, and therefore acted in haste, than how the contributors behaved with respect to the forum guidelines.  :-[

Kevin
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 09 January 2010, 21:02:03
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On reflection I would like to appologise to those who might have otherwise made a useful contribution to Gaffers' thread yesterday had it not been locked. My decision probably reflected more my personal frustration with the way the discussion was heading and the fact that I was about to go out, and therefore acted in haste, than how the contributors behaved with respect to the forum guidelines.  :-[

Kevin


You did what you thought was best Kevin.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: goonv6 on 10 January 2010, 12:44:01
I've been lurking with this decorum on the forum thread for a little while (Do you like what I did there?) I'm a member of a large number of forums and each one is different in the expectations of its users. On Barry boys or Rebelv8 they will rip merry hell out of you if you so much as make a tiny mistake. On thirdgen.org if you so much as make a pun, they frown at you.

This forum sits in between but in my experience,although it leans toward the more formal, there is some gentle ribbing and occasionally,a healthy discussion or debate. The problem comes when people take it personally and then the remarks become pointed and bitter. As previously said, we have body language in daily conversation but on here, we use smileys to elliviate tension or show our intent. Sadly these can often be over used and although each face means something to us,it doesn't always necessarily transfer to the person we are chatting with.

I also think its strange that we get so incredibly worked up about people that we haven't even met! Forums encourage people from all walks of like to come together and talk about one thing that they have in common but we are multi faceted and just because we like one thing,doesn't mean that we have anything else in common. I suspect that many of us wouldn't even pass the time of day together in the street.

This debate has now flared to a point that it won't be resolved, there is a great deal of anger in several camps and a feeling of needing to get a point across but why? You know the other party isn't going to listen to it? Surely its now fruitless,just adding fuel to an already blazing fire? Instead of leaving the forum or continuing, why not walk away and then,when ready have the discussion together through PMs? That way busybodies like me will not be involved!
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: feeutfo on 10 January 2010, 13:38:16
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Quote
On reflection I would like to appologise to those who might have otherwise made a useful contribution to Gaffers' thread yesterday had it not been locked. My decision probably reflected more my personal frustration with the way the discussion was heading and the fact that I was about to go out, and therefore acted in haste, than how the contributors behaved with respect to the forum guidelines.  :-[

Kevin


You did what you thought was best Kevin.

imo, totally the right thing to do, and seemed in keeping with general locking standards i've seen previosly.  :y
I'm sure admin made you an moderater for good reasons. A level head being one of them. Well moderated... seems to me anyway.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Debs. on 10 January 2010, 13:51:18
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Quote
On reflection I would like to appologise to those who might have otherwise made a useful contribution to Gaffers' thread yesterday had it not been locked. My decision probably reflected more my personal frustration with the way the discussion was heading and the fact that I was about to go out, and therefore acted in haste, than how the contributors behaved with respect to the forum guidelines.  :-[

Kevin


You did what you thought was best Kevin.

 ::) Kevin, please allow me to translate: "Steve thinks you`re a pratt!"  ;D



 :P.... ;)..... ;D..... :)..... :-*
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: cruisetopoland on 10 January 2010, 13:55:10
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Quote
Quote
On reflection I would like to appologise to those who might have otherwise made a useful contribution to Gaffers' thread yesterday had it not been locked. My decision probably reflected more my personal frustration with the way the discussion was heading and the fact that I was about to go out, and therefore acted in haste, than how the contributors behaved with respect to the forum guidelines.  :-[

Kevin


You did what you thought was best Kevin.

 ::) Kevin, please allow me to translate: "Steve thinks you`re a pratt!"  ;D



 :P.... ;)..... ;D..... :)..... :-*

Fair play to Kevin for taking on the role-not many would want to do it, whatever the posting-it's easy to be a member, not a moderator  :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Gaffers on 10 January 2010, 14:07:11
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Quote
Quote
On reflection I would like to appologise to those who might have otherwise made a useful contribution to Gaffers' thread yesterday had it not been locked. My decision probably reflected more my personal frustration with the way the discussion was heading and the fact that I was about to go out, and therefore acted in haste, than how the contributors behaved with respect to the forum guidelines.  :-[
Kevin


You did what you thought was best Kevin.

 ::) Kevin, please allow me to translate: "Steve thinks you`re a pratt!"  ;D



 :P.... ;)..... ;D..... :)..... :-*

ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Debs. on 10 January 2010, 14:14:30
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ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) I was (genuinely) only 'kidding'.......after I posted, it did cross my mind that it could be taken in a non-ironic way; `hope not!.....Kevin and Steve; surely know me better. ;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Gaffers on 10 January 2010, 14:20:42
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ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) I was (genuinely) only 'kidding'.......after I posted, it did cross my mind that it could be taken in a non-ironic way; `hope not!.....Kevin and Steve; surely know me better. ;D

Don't apologise, I liked it! ;D

Besides we know you've got a gold heart :y

I can't wait to meet you and pick your mind on epoxy/fibreglass and aero/hydrodynamics :y
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: STMO999 on 10 January 2010, 17:12:35
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Quote
ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) I was (genuinely) only 'kidding'.......after I posted, it did cross my mind that it could be taken in a non-ironic way; `hope not!.....Kevin and Steve; surely know me better. ;D


Hmmm.....smacked bottie I think...... ;)
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Debs. on 10 January 2010, 17:24:09
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ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) I was (genuinely) only 'kidding'.......after I posted, it did cross my mind that it could be taken in a non-ironic way; `hope not!.....Kevin and Steve; surely know me better. ;D


Hmmm.....smacked bottie I think...... ;)

 :P Just like my face!;D
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: feeutfo on 10 January 2010, 17:33:03
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Quote
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ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) I was (genuinely) only 'kidding'.......after I posted, it did cross my mind that it could be taken in a non-ironic way; `hope not!.....Kevin and Steve; surely know me better. ;D


Hmmm.....smacked bottie I think...... ;)

 :P Just like my face!;D
i reckon its cabin fever....? beleive its still a legal form of murder in Canada...well, maybe not.
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Kevin Wood on 10 January 2010, 22:42:39
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Quote
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ooooo Debs!  Your snowy isolation is making you dark! ;D ;D ;D ;D

;) I was (genuinely) only 'kidding'.......after I posted, it did cross my mind that it could be taken in a non-ironic way; `hope not!.....Kevin and Steve; surely know me better. ;D

Don't apologise, I liked it! ;D

Besides we know you've got a gold heart :y

I can't wait to meet you and pick your mind on epoxy/fibreglass and aero/hydrodynamics :y


Not to mention gleaning some Tesla coil designs... [smiley=evil.gif]

Kevin
Title: Re: The art of respectful conversation
Post by: Auto Addict on 11 January 2010, 06:35:10
I've been offline for a few days as I haven't been feeling too good, it appears I've missed quite a lot.

I'd love to add something meaningful to this thread, but I can't think of anything that would upset eveyone. ::)