Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dbug on 31 August 2010, 19:06:33

Title: One liners
Post by: dbug on 31 August 2010, 19:06:33

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
 
I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

KENTUCKY:
Five million people, fifteen last names.
 
Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
 
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
 
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

I want to die while asleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Jimbob on 31 August 2010, 19:08:26

 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Proz on 31 August 2010, 20:09:44

 ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Varche on 31 August 2010, 20:19:41

 ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Welung666 on 31 August 2010, 20:36:18

 ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Dishevelled Den on 31 August 2010, 20:52:45

 ;D ;D ;D Splendid  ;D :y

However this one carried a bit of weight. 8-) 8-)

Quote

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: PhilRich on 31 August 2010, 21:36:17

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 31 August 2010, 22:56:42

 ;D ;D ;D :y :y

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: maria on 01 September 2010, 07:58:09

 ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: One liners
Post by: Danny on 01 September 2010, 16:13:49

i know a butler with no left arm...

serves him right