Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Vamps on 14 December 2010, 23:45:28
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He has just come in, so needed to tell him before his elder brother does....swmbo has gone to bed.
Got home from work, Miss Vamps of to Brownies Christmas Party to find swmbo in tears. Sadly her father has been admitted to a hospice today and his days are numbered......I have tried to be supportive but what can you say and do? I guess just be there to pick up the pieces, and as a practical person put in a plan for Miss Vamps in case we are suddenly called away.....
I am 53 and for some years now have been thinking that sooner or later one or more of our parents are going to pass away, wondering what I would do, looks like I am going to find out..... :(
Bloody Christmas, stubborn old bugger...... ::)
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sorry to hear that mate cant be easy especially at this time of year you have to keep it together to look after your family
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I'm really sorry to hear that.
I lost my mother in March. . . .its impossible to describe....
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Sad news, Vamps. :'(
I lost my dad when I was 14 and my mum (on New Year's Eve) when I was 29. The loss remains forever, but I "celebrate" the fact that, albeit for a shortish time, I could not have had better parents. They made me what I am today, and I am eternally grateful for that. :y
Does that make sense? :-?
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cant think of a better person to help them through this than you, somehow you will all manage, mostly as you go along. planning isnt everything.
Be strong :y
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Sad new at any tome of the year Mike. All you can do is be there to support and comfort her and get her to talk about the good times to try and remain possitive, sadly it will get worse before it gets to that point were she (you and family) will all come to terms with it all.
Such a sad time of year, my thoughts are with you all.
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:'(Awful......especially-so where tiddlers are meeting 'the' issue for the first time.
Be strong, matter-of-fact and be sensitive to any questions 'not being asked'......for often, kids (surprisingly) think talking about death will upset you/mum.
Remember for dear-SWMBO; a hug is going to be worth 10,000 words! ;)
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:'(Awful......especially-so where tiddlers are meeting 'the' issue for the first time.
Be strong, matter-of-fact and be sensitive to any questions 'not being asked'......for often, kids (surprisingly) think talking about death will upset you/mum.
Remember for dear-SWMBO; a hug is going to be worth 10,000 words! ;)
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How that is Debs. :y
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Thanks peeps for your kind replies... :) We will just take it as it comes over the next few days.
Talking to swmbo I want her to go and see him tomorrow, and again, if he stays with us, just so that she can say last words etc, she will but is a little reluctant as wants to remember him as last seen, I can see it both ways......
When the time comes we will deal with it, I know the theory just putting it in to practice is not so easy.... ::) ::) ::)
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Thanks peeps for your kind replies... :) We will just take it as it comes over the next few days.
Talking to swmbo I want her to go and see him tomorrow, and again, if he stays with us, just so that she can say last words etc, she will but is a little reluctant as wants to remember him as last seen, I can see it both ways......
When the time comes we will deal with it, I know the theory just putting it in to practice is not so easy.... ::) ::) ::)
don't know the circumstances, but if I was in his place and was lucid - i wouldn't want to die alone or with strangers
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Thanks peeps for your kind replies... :) We will just take it as it comes over the next few days.
Talking to swmbo I want her to go and see him tomorrow, and again, if he stays with us, just so that she can say last words etc, she will but is a little reluctant as wants to remember him as last seen, I can see it both ways......
When the time comes we will deal with it, I know the theory just putting it in to practice is not so easy.... ::) ::) ::)
don't know the circumstances, but if I was in his place and was lucid - i wouldn't want to die alone or with strangers
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I quite agree, we know because we have been there with myself, I survived Cancer, which is perhaps making it harder for her? to be honest I do not know, just go with the flow I guess...
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All the best Mike, Not an easy time :'(
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I've also been there, thing is there is no "manual for life" and you have to do what you think is the right thing on a day by day basis.
Talking helps a lot - not the profound conversations, but making a cuppa last half an hour and listening to how someone's day has been and making supportive comments really helps.
There isn't a day goes by when I don't think about my Mum - despite it being 14 years now.
If you have a supportive boss then that's a help also - a bit less stress at work will go a long way at home at a difficult time.
All the best ........
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Really sorry for you and your family. I know how it feels lost my mother in law last friday. :'(
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My deepest sympathies to all of you in the extended Vamps family!
Mike, the only thing you can do is be there for them.
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Having been through this for both sets of parents, and keeping watch at the hospice as my mother moved on, one thing I would say regarding children, especially younger ones, is do not try to shield them from it, but allow them to grieve also, they will be stronger for it in the long run. Trying to shield them from death in the family can sometimes tend to make them feel somehow responsible.
Our thoughts are with you and your family, best wishes and keep strong.
Kindest regards
Chris
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Thank you all for you thoughts and advice, much appreciated.. :y
We have been up to the hospice this afternoon / early evening and he much better than we were led to believe, thankfully.......
He is ill and is on borrowed time but the hospice is doing a full assessment stopping all current meds and starting again.... I had a good chat with med staff when I was supposed to be at the toilet, whilst the inevitable will happen we will have longer and almost certainly get through Christmas....
He is very comfortable in a fabulous hospice in Sunderland, he likens it to a 5 star hotel and the staff are great.....
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Thank you all for you thoughts and advice, much appreciated.. :y
We have been up to the hospice this afternoon / early evening and he much better than we were led to believe, thankfully.......
He is ill and is on borrowed time but the hospice is doing a full assessment stopping all current meds and starting again.... I had a good chat with med staff when I was supposed to be at the toilet, whilst the inevitable will happen we will have longer and almost certainly get through Christmas....
He is very comfortable in a fabulous hospice in Sunderland, he likens it to a 5 star hotel and the staff are great.....
Great news for you and your family
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Hi Mike, i'm really very sorry to hear your news. It's never easy to know what to do or say when 'that' time is near, you just have to play it by ear I found, & try to be all things to all people. I don't know how 'close' your wife is to her dad or the kids to granddad, but 'making your peace' & telling your loved one all the things we normally bottle up, is a great comforter later on, I found. :(
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We all know it must happen eventually, and my parents are now in their late 80s, but I am so sorry you are facing this just before Christmas Mike :'( :'( :'( :'(
Telling your children of the inevitable must always be the worst bit :'( :'(
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so sorry to hear your sad news mate. Sadly a friend at work told me tonight that hes going through the same thing and he didnt know if he'd be getting a phone call from his wife tonight to say that her dad had passed away. He has had cancer but was doing well until very recently when he caught a bug that has really knocked him about and , whilst they hoped nothing would happen before or over xmas ,it doesnt look good. As he says, it sort of brings it home to us of a certain age that our own parents are getting on and that the inevitable but still unthinkable may not be so far away. Dont think anything can really prepare you for it and sort of puts a lot of other things into perspective doesnt it. Thoughts are with you and yours at this difficult time