Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: hotel21 on 18 January 2008, 09:22:36
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Before you start reading, I'll just make sure that I already have my coat, thanks......
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The maths professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in linoleum blownapart.
He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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and hat..... :D
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Let me hold your coat while you put it on!!
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Well, I am somewhat afraid to admit that I liked them - especially the roundest knight!
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i'll make a note of those, my girlfriend REALLY appreciates crap jokes and one liners ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D