Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: the alarming man on 22 October 2011, 19:11:22
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kneeling on gripper rod,or gripper rod down the back of the finger nails...ouch :y
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Black Pudding = the Devils's work.... ::)
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Knee cap into corner of doorframe ::)
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kneeling on gripper rod,or gripper rod down the back of the finger nails...ouch :y
been doing the carpets then mark ;D ;D
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my neck on a cold damp morning.....
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Fully laden shopping trolley over the back of the foot - evil things :(
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Biliary colic. :'( :'(
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Stubbing your little toe on the doorjamb when going for your 5 am pee.....
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Biliary colic. :'( :'(
:'(.....or worse, a Bilious Collie. :P
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catching the roll neck sweater in your flies
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catching the roll neck sweater in your flies
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
i was just about to say h21 so far has it,but richie i think youve nailed it there ;D :y
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catching the roll neck sweater in your flies
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
i was just about to say h21 so far has it,but richie i think youve nailed it there ;D :y
;D ;D ;D. Took me a minute to catch on there but yeh very funny. ;D ;D :y
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catching the roll neck sweater in your flies
eyes are watering remebering last time i did that ;D ;D
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Biliary colic. :'( :'(
:'(.....or worse, a Bilious Collie. :P
;D ;D ;D Splendid - although it is, without doubt, a distressing sight;
(http://i698.photobucket.com/albums/vv345/Catdracula/images-2.jpg)
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
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Standing on a plug when you're half asleep.
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Or actually, sitting on a boll*ck when you get on a bike or jump in the car that little bit too fast. That does give me bad, bad pain :o
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
I'll agree with you - furthermore, if I were a female there would be nothing coming out of that area but pee. :-*
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There are 2 high up on my list:
Being delivered a hospital pass in front of a mean looking forward running toward me at full chat (spent 3 weeks unable to lie down after that); and
Getting full body cramp just 1km in to the 10km run following a long swim a long and difficult bike ride knowing that another 9km of hell are on their way
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Or actually, sitting on a boll*ck when you get on a bike or jump in the car that little bit too fast. That does give me bad, bad pain :o
Defo agree did this yesterday and is still hurting. :'(
Must add to this toothache. one that lasts for days and will not go even with painkillers. Had one on holiday last year and was actually in tears.
Agree with all the others except ...
You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
Has been already said by someone somewhere .. "It cant be that bad as they would do it again" ;D ;D ;D ;D
I would not do any of these voluntarily
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Kidney stones, and then removal of the stent afterwards
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keep seeing that bus nostalgia post now that is painful ;D ;D
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got to agree....will it ever end...aagghh :y
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
No conception of pain? I'll have you know I've had some really painful paper cuts in my time! ;) ;) ;D ;D
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Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort. ::) ;D
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
No conception of pain? I'll have you know I've had some really painful paper cuts in my time! ;) ;) ;D ;D
I don't think I want to know where ::)
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Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort. ::) ;D
Is this how they came up with "the only way is essex". most would have just stubbed their toe. which is painful ;) ;D
Gets my vote for the best one yet but still waiting for Richie and TB might just get beat ::)
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
No conception of pain? I'll have you know I've had some really painful paper cuts in my time! ;) ;) ;D ;D
I don't think I want to know where ::)
black belt in origami ? ;D
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Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort. ::) ;D
Is this how they came up with "the only way is essex". most would have just stubbed their toe. which is painful ;) ;D
Gets my vote for the best one yet but still waiting for Richie and TB might just get beat ::)
I have plenty more where that came from.Local hospital spoke of naming a ward after me.Have always been accident prone. ::) ;D
Have been moderately maimed by Omegas three times that I recall. :D
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Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort. ::) ;D
Medics are masters of understatement!!! ::) Surgeon once said to me just before an Op ' You're in for a difficult few weeks'... He meant 'You're going to have a few weeks from hell!!!' :'(
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Bareback ride down a 20' log full of splinters with your crown jewels taking the leading role. ;D ;D ;D
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I broke my leg when I was 11.
It still hurts now, 30 years later.
I'd recommend that everyone keeps out of the way of women towing horseboxes!
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Quite a few things could go on the list (ie, treading on a 3 pin plug barefoot), but nothing (and I mean NOTHING) beats the pain of bowel surgery ;D
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+1 :y
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
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Quite a few things could go on the list (ie, treading on a 3 pin plug barefoot), but nothing (and I mean NOTHING) beats the pain of bowel surgery ;D
I have the delights of that toward the end of next year :'(
Glad. To see you back :y
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Quite a few things could go on the list (ie, treading on a 3 pin plug barefoot), but nothing (and I mean NOTHING) beats the pain of bowel surgery ;D
I have the delights of that toward the end of next year :'(
Glad. To see you back :y
I'll be one of the first to visit & nuke you a roast beef ready meal ;D
Other than sitting on one arse cheek or the other (still can't sit down properly yet), I haven't been up to much.
Retard TVJeremy Kyle finally got to me (although it does remind me of how lucky I am LOL), so I've spent most of my time playing with my phone.
I'm now using Revolution CheckROM v1 (XXKI4) which is based on Gingerbread 2.3.5 and after a few tweaks I'm getting 2 solid days out of the battery and very fast fix times for GPS (less than 15 secs even when indoors).
I also found a forum you might like, the link is in your inbox.
Take care for now mate :y
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Bareback ride down a 20' log full of splinters with your crown jewels taking the leading role. ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D dont fancy trying that myself ;D
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
learly you have never stood on a plug in the dark when going for a pee and having to contain the agony cos you dont want to wake everyone up
Doug
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You lot have no conception of pain.....you haven't given birth! Big load of wusses! :P
learly you have never stood on a plug in the dark when going for a pee and having to contain the agony cos you dont want to wake everyone up
Doug
I certainly have! It smarted a tad but nowt compared to giving birth! ;) ;D
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Kidney stones, and then removal of the stent afterwards
Gall stones ..............
and their removal from the bile duct by endoscopy under local anaesthetic :'( :'( :'(
Oh, and then the pain of having the gall bladder removed under full-blown sedation!
Aaargh ............ :'( :'( :'(
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
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playing football and i stepped awkwardly. foot turned under me and all my lard arse weight straight down on it. ''crack'' and ive popped my ligaments.
however thats nowt compared to my 94 year old grandma.... she's just had an injection in her eye!! theres no smiley can describe how much just saying that shrinks my cock. my mam went with her and apparently she didnt even flinch!!! WTF!!!! id have passed out with fear 2 hours before!
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For me... Watching your wife/partner go through something truly devastating (some of you will know what I'm referring to) and not being able to do anything to help, other than be strong even when it's tearing you apart too :'( :'(
Or toothache, particularly as I'm terrified of dentists and will not go near them unless I'm in so much pain that I can't stand it any more ::) ::)
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Yup, that's nearly as bad as Black Pudding . . . . :'(
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My wife is shopping, I'm paying... :y :y :y (and paining) :o :o :o
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
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I'm sorry... but I am now crying with laughter..
I cannot even begin to imagine, though! :o :o :o :o
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
Sorry but.... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I just peed a little ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
Think that will take some beating! ;D :y How embarrassing! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
Think that will take some beating! ;D :y How embarrassing! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I bet it was too painful for that!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
Think that will take some beating! ;D :y How embarrassing! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I bet it was too painful for that!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
:-X ;D
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Or toothache, particularly as I'm terrified of dentists and will not go near them unless I'm in so much pain that I can't stand it any more ::) ::)
Same here, I'm needlephobic to the point where a sedative isn't needed....just show me the needle and I'm out for the count.
Heights is my only other phobia, although that didn't develop until the age of 15 when I fell through the fly floor at work.
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sliding down the rubber belt on the escalater at holborn station and burning your Rse to bits cause you can't stop.. big mistake, now that is pain. :(
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I can think of a few
Sitting on a testical when jumping on your bike a bit quick. :'(
Broken leg and then being walked to a Police car where they then took me home!
Recently knackering the Bursa in my hip.
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Broken leg and then being walked to a Police car where they then took me home!
:P "Tis but a flesh wound!" ;D
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I can think of a few
Sitting on a testical when jumping on your bike a bit quick. :'(
Broken leg and then being walked to a Police car where they then took me home!
Recently knackering the Bursa in my hip.
That was just an excuse so you didn't show yourself up on the Kiddies rollercoasters! ;D :P
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a mitre 5 mouldmaster whacked off your bell end :-X
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a mitre 5 mouldmaster whacked off your bell end :-X
On a cold frosty moning :o
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'( :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'(
Gets my vote for the winner now :y
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a mitre 5 mouldmaster whacked off your bell end :-X
On a cold frosty moning :o
With a stiffy!
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'( :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'(
Gets my vote for the winner now :y
hahaha mine too. shit mate, have you been left with any, errm, scars? :-\
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Painful for me but apparently hilarious for Mrs Albs who observed the whole thing unfold - walking across the dining room in the dark at 3.30 am to go to the loo.someone had left a dining chair a couple of feet out from the table,so I walked straight into it,did a superman typeflying leap over the chair and headbutted the wall about 3 feet away.Knocked myself out cold and came round a while later trying to work out why I was lying on the floor,rather than stood in front of the toilet.
When I came round a bit more I became aware that my teeth didnt line up like they previously had done.I assumed I had broken all my teeth until it dawned on me that all my lower teeth were sitting a couple of inches further to the right than they should.
I then worked out that my teeth were ok,it was my jawbone that was the problem.It had snapped clean through level with the bottom of my right ear. I had a bruise slightly to the left of the bottom of my chin where I had hit the floor like a dead weight,which was what did the damage.
When the shock and sleep wore off there was (as the doctors say) quite a degree of discomfort. ::) ;D
maybe you were pushed, or maybe mrs albs gave you a dig for good measure whilst you were out :o :o i tell you evil things women they never forget anything just bide there time and pow :o :o
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getting your sac caught in your fly is a good one but not as good as trying to get it out of the zipper :'( :'(
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Concentrated Acetic acid on the end of your tallywacker, if enough ask I will explain!
+2 + 1+ 2 + 3
= Den, Me + Swmbo + two Grandkids + 3 dogs! Were all waiting with bated breath :D ;D ;D
Ditto, although I have a suspicion I'll regret asking.. ;D
As for pain - standing on a lego brick in bare feet. ;D
Although I think having my fingers mashed down onto an exhaust stud by a friend with a lump hammer at full tilt was worse.
Well seeing as you asked, I shall set the scene..
At the age of 15 I started to suffer some weird blackout episodes. Medical investigation ensued which resulted in all sorts of weird tests such as brain scans for epilepsy, tumours etc .Part of the tests were some urine tests and I was provided with the relevant containers and was told to collect my first tinkle of the day in a small(ish) one . Cue me at 6 am walking into the bathroom as a bleary eyed, post pubic, semi conscious effort of a human, having been on the lash the night before. Oh sh*t I thinks halfway through and grabs the upside down container from the shelf, now how shall I stop myself pissing on my hand, thats right, jam my helmet in the top of the pot .....SADLY NOT HAVING NOTICED THE SKULL AND CROSSBONES ON THE POT!!!! Concentrated acetic acid, corrosive, do not allow contact with skin :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o.
I shit you not, the pain was like nothing I have ever, and will ever,feel again , sod lego bricks or plugs in bare feet, childbirth and stubbing your bleedin toe, this was neanderthal shit. I looked down to see my sausage literally melting, and I mean popping, spitting and smoking, the whole acid horror film nightmare scenario unfolded before my very eyes but the worst bit was..............as a youth, what word will you scream without fail at any desperate moment.................that's right............. "MUUUUUUUMMMMM"
The mental scars took longer than the physical ones to heal!!!
;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'( :o :o :o ;D ;D ;D :'( :'( :'(
Gets my vote for the winner now :y
hahaha mine too. shit mate, have you been left with any, errm, scars? :-\
Just made me think. wouldprobably not have to use a "ribbed" one ;D ;D ;D ;D :o