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[Kevin Wood]

He's already been moaning that his lawn mower is burning too much juice. Clearly needs to downsize.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I have just been reading in one of the financial newsletter that I receive. Since the BOE forward guidance of at least 3 years before interest rates rise, Interbank rates that mortgage interest rates are based on have been rising from 0.68% to 0.79% for 2 year swaps and 1.37% to 1.66% for 5 year swaps which suggest that the markets think interest rates will increase faster than the forward guidance suggest with at least 1 increase priced into these rates.

So it would be better to sort that fixed mortgage sooner rather than later as the Interbank rises will affect the rates of mortgages on offer.

Mr Opti, don't get caught, so you have to make some difficult financial decisions like cutting down the household staff from your butler, cook, gardener and chambermaid, having to use of your executive jet less often or even mothballing your 200m super-yacht to save the odd £1m here or there. 

That's just not true. My yacht is barely 50 metres in length.

[Rods2]

I don't think the mortgage is on Opti Towers Rods, rumour has it that there is a Dove cote in the grounds which was mortgaged to gain tax relief back in the day! 

I've heard that is the codename for his gold vault. he got the mortgage to save selling any of his gold. Some say the vault is the size of a double garage while others that is is bigger than Fort Knox and packed full of gold and treasure. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

I don't think the mortgage is on Opti Towers Rods, rumour has it that there is a Dove cote in the grounds which was mortgaged to gain tax relief back in the day! 

I've heard that is the codename for his gold vault. he got the mortgage to save selling any of his gold. Some say the vault is the size of a double garage while others that is is bigger than Fort Knox and packed full of gold and treasure. 

I must be a tight bastard. All this money and I drive around in a ten year old Omega worth about the same as a bag of boiled sweets.

[chrisgixer]

I don't think the mortgage is on Opti Towers Rods, rumour has it that there is a Dove cote in the grounds which was mortgaged to gain tax relief back in the day! 

I've heard that is the codename for his gold vault. he got the mortgage to save selling any of his gold. Some say the vault is the size of a double garage while others that is is bigger than Fort Knox and packed full of gold and treasure. 

I must be a tight bastard. All this money and I drive around in a ten year old Omega worth about the same as a bag of boiled sweets.

Nout wrong there Opti. The omega savings pay for the mention, I bet.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I don't think the mortgage is on Opti Towers Rods, rumour has it that there is a Dove cote in the grounds which was mortgaged to gain tax relief back in the day! 

I've heard that is the codename for his gold vault. he got the mortgage to save selling any of his gold. Some say the vault is the size of a double garage while others that is is bigger than Fort Knox and packed full of gold and treasure. 

I must be a tight bastard. All this money and I drive around in a ten year old Omega worth about the same as a bag of boiled sweets.

When I was a youngster, my Dad used to do some work for a millionaire who dressed like a tramp and drove round in a rusty Triumph Herald.  This guy stored 4 cars in a barn on Dad's farm for a while, 3 Jensen Interceptors and a Rover P5 Coupe!   

I wonder what Mr Opti has tucked away in his barn???   

[chrisgixer]

I don't think the mortgage is on Opti Towers Rods, rumour has it that there is a Dove cote in the grounds which was mortgaged to gain tax relief back in the day! 

I've heard that is the codename for his gold vault. he got the mortgage to save selling any of his gold. Some say the vault is the size of a double garage while others that is is bigger than Fort Knox and packed full of gold and treasure. 

I must be a tight bastard. All this money and I drive around in a ten year old Omega worth about the same as a bag of boiled sweets.

Nout wrong there Opti. The omega savings pay for the mention, I bet.

Or even the Mansion (ffs )