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[M16]

A real story by a Man who was standing in a queue in Tesco's.........

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my nuts and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food?

[M16]

THIS new police knife amnesty is a bloody nightmare. I dutifully handed all my knives in and now I've got nothing to eat my dinner with.

[amigov6]

Some folk ask the silliest questions. Once in my dim & distant younger days i had a bit of a bump resulting in my feet bent the wrong way under the seat, dashboard in my lower legs & steering wheel in my chest. I was a little stuck but it did'nt hurt (honest!) The fire crew arrived to cut me out & i was asked "you alright mate?" Despite the shock & pain (it did hurt really) i managed to answer, "i've been better" Out came the hydraulics, gas/air etc.
     I could'nt do thier job.