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[Mr Skrunts]

[size=12]
WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition:

Hijack an airliner and win a council house!

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands
of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And
don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British
passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

Prizes include all-expenses- paid accommodation, cash benefits
starting at£180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging,
mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away
on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic
password: 'ASYLUM'.

Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan
were flown Goat Class from Kabulto our international gateway

at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-
track them to their luxury£200-a- night rooms in the fabulous four
star Hilton Hotel.

They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in
hotels all over Britain

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover
and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic
Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need
to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds oflawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to
help.

It won't costyou a penny, so play today; it could change your life
forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil
tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas.. .

COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to
the ferry terminal.

Don't stop in Germany or France.....

Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of
thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. [/size]

[BIGHUCK]

[size=12]
WIN A COUNCIL HOUSE

Good morning and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition:

Hijack an airliner and win a council house!

We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands
of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor the British Taxpayer. And
don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British
passport, and you only need one word of English: 'ASYLUM'!.

Prizes include all-expenses- paid accommodation, cash benefits
starting at£180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging,
mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone buying a ticket or stowing away
on one of our partner airlines, ferry companies or Eurostar.

No application ever refused reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic
password: 'ASYLUM'.

Only this week 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan
were flown Goat Class from Kabulto our international gateway

at Stansted where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-
track them to their luxury£200-a- night rooms in the fabulous four
star Hilton Hotel.

They join tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in
hotels all over Britain

Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover
and the world famous Toddington Services area In Historic
Bedfordshire.

If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget there's no need
to phone a friend or ask the audience, just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds oflawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to
help.

It won't costyou a penny, so play today; it could change your life
forever.

Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil
tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas.. .

COME ON DOWN!

Get along to the airport, get along to the lorry park, get along to
the ferry terminal.

Don't stop in Germany or France.....

Go straight to Britain and you are guaranteed to be one of tens of
thousands of lucky winners in the softest game on earth.

Everyone's a winner, when they play 'ASYLUM'. [/size]

This is why i joined the fastest growing political party in the uk the B N P  

[sir moanalot]

bugger, i dont qualify, i may see if i can play the game in Iran.........

[FRE07962128]

Another gem Skruntie; a great piece of political observation which if it wasn't so true would be so so funny! :-/ :-/ :-/

We require political change fast, so join the Lizzie Unionist Party!  The revolutions here! 8-) 8-)

[HolyCount]

Another gem Skruntie; a great piece of political observation which if it wasn't so true would be so so funny! :-/ :-/ :-/

We require political change fast, so join the Lizzie Unionist Party!  The revolutions here! 8-) 8-)

Spot on there Lizzie  

[Varche]

 

varche

[Gaffers]

Even though the wife is a Yank, if she had hid in the back a lorry coming over from Calais and then claimed asylum she would have gotten her British Citizenship quicker than through marriage!!  

(By the way she only needs it to stay in the UK while I am in the 'Care of Her Majesty' after than its off abroad we go)