Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[doz]

To many car ones to count so I thought I'd do my bike get offs.

1/ Suzuki x1 50. Wet manhole surfing on a roundabout. Little lad thought i was waving to him and waved back. No damage.

2/ Suzuki x1 50 roundabout front end loss with company cash takings of over 4 thousand pound in various donations which exploded all over the road on impact. Helped by the general public to collect money and wasn't a penny short when I arrived at the bank. Damage bent peg bruised palm.

3/ Honda CB 125 Wet dream. Blinded by on coming mk3 Cortina GXL (it's funny how you remember these details) slid into ditch. Damage indicators, side panel bruised knee.

4/ Aprilia RSV-R. Hit by tractor.  Damage bike distributed over a 20 yard radius. Left foot hanging off and ruptured artiary. Left arm broken. Right shoulder broken and nerve damage (brekial plexus). Most of my front left ribs broken. Back broken. Spleen mashed. Large intestines ruptured. Small intestines ruptured. Bowl ruptured. Right kidney ruptured. Leathers removed by scissors. Lid covered in mud. Slight dent in tractor wheel rim. Telegraph pole nicked on impact. Heart attack for wife when Police turned up to rush her down the hospital (Holby city style) to say goodbye.

I'm sure I've forgotten something. 

[noel]

auto box failed on my 2.6 on first day of a camping holiday in cornwall.car and trailer both recovered home.
 

[blackviper90210]

Mk1 Escort estate - Engine seized on the A5 near Dunstable (lack of oil)    Walked home
Morris Ital - Hit central crash barrier, skidded sideways, rolled a few times, up the embankment and stopped. Got out and walked home.  3am on sat morning.
Omega mv6 - Bottom of the engine blew out at 60mph....sounded like a load of nuts n' bolts being thrown at the underside of the car. RAC takes car back to garage
Kwak Zx636 - oil on roundabout, low speed low slide. Scuffed panel & broken peg. Back on & rode home
Omega Elite - After a cambelt change by Mr Wellung, LPG not working and car running rough. Gas pipes & electrics burning after being trapped under the plenum 
Omega Elite (same car) - Failed to start at home, crank sensor

[cem_devecioglu]

I hate breakdowns and I hate people smiling at you when you are left with a donald car..
 
my father was a very bad car owner  and everytime all faults hit me first as he doesnt hammer the car..
 
so, after having my own cars I dont let anything critical mechanic or electronic stay on the car for long!
 
as far as I remember my breakdown cases were:
 
2 crashes, a tire with a big hole, a complete dead battery (alternator stopped charging) and an immobiliser fault (keys)..
 
 ps: I dont count going to service in omega with only 3 cylinders

[pscocoa]

posting on another thread just reminded me that the wife's Signum had to be towed following dmf failure. What I forgot was that although I drove it home without clutch - the next day it had to be towed to the main dealer.

[Dishevelled Den]

Thinking about it the only time, over the years, a car stopped working for me was when I’d been driving a Volvo.

The first (of a Christmas Eve many years ago) was just after I fuelled a 131 (2 door Amazon with the B20 engine) the car stopped stone dead quite a distance from the service station (as they were called then).  It was towed home and during the course of the Christmas morning examination, water was discovered in the fuel tank.

A clear out of the tank, a blow out of the lines, carburettor, cylinders and a pre-lunch sip of fuel from the siphoned contents of a donor car, order was soon restored.

The second Volvo inspired trauma happened in a 240 saloon that decided to stop in a place it definitely should not have - given the nature of my then employment.

Following a strategic extraction the fault took a long time to trace but it eventually was discovered in burnt out wires in part of the loom running across the bulkhead at the back of the engine.

The fix was quite straightforward but a lot of time was wasted on it.

The final let down was in a 760 (the one with the delightful PRV V6 engine).  The engine temperature level went teats-up on the Brompton Road (at the point where it joins Knightsbridge).

I had to let the car cool off for what seemed ages while fending off parking wardens before getting it to safe parking territory.

I eventually had to do a top end job on it in the front garden of a colleague’s house in Sunningdale (where it normally stayed as there was no requirement to have a car in central London) - and what a bastid that engine was to work on; it was rather like the idea that coalition government  can actually be a good thing - you know, the inevitable result when too many idiots (no, not of the word filter variety)  try to get their oar in during the consultation and design stage –  just all oppsed up.

[Shackeng]

1. At 16 on my first motorbike, a 1930 James 250cc twin port, hand change, 2-stroke, http://www.simplywizard.co.uk/folders/pre1940/prewarl3/30b8250.htm, it stopped.  I was completely clueless, and sat disconsolately at the side of the road. A chap on a Norton combo stopped and asked if I was OK. After telling him, he had a look and held up the spark plug dangling from its lead. "I think this may be your problem!" 
2. Mk1 '53 Austin A40, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Austin_A40_Countryman.jpg crankshaft broke. (It only had a 3 bearing crank) Trailered to garage for engine change.
3. Mk1 '53 Consul, dynamo failed, yes dynamos in those days. I bodged the brushes at roadside.
4. '59 Beetle brake master cylinder failed, thumbed a lift to VW agent, got a seal kit, replaced at roadside.
5. '59 Beetle, clutch cable broke where Tunnie has just been, near Durness. Drove 150 miles home complete with family, with no clutch, and carefully judged gear changes!
5. Jaguar XJ6 at 80mph on M1, the fan went AWOL and drove into the rad. Trailered home.
6. Filled the TD with petrol. Drained and restarted at roadside.

I suppose that's not too bad after nearly 60 years of motoring.

[kingycos2]

Saab 9000 aero - Piston decided it liked the tarmac more than the engine. Modified power caused this lol
2.5 Elite - aux belt pulley gave way
Current 3.2 elite - Flat battery due to alternator
                         Oil leaking onto manifold when gasket seals leaked. drivable but my god there was some smoke.

[Keith ABS]

    Yam FS1E, dirty petrol clogged fuel fitler, long push home
same  bike, piston melted, another long push
1964 mini 850, fan belt snapped, lots of stopping and letting it cool down
same mini the following day, dad decided I hadnt tightened new belt enough so took over, pulled bearings out of dynamo
1964 Vauxhall Victor FB estate, dizzy shaft bent and rotor arm eat the cap. Pushed home by dads old Merc
1974 Ford Carpi mk1 facelift, broke rear leaf spring, limped home
1979 mk1 Cav, gearbox main bearings exploded, limped into work
1979 mk1 Cav sporthatch, modified motor, too much power for gearbox, ate three
Same car, coil failure, as I got to work, coasted on to carpark
1973 Reno 12 estate, brakes stuck on after new master cylinder fitted. Kit came with wrong size spacer to go between servo and cylinder
1975 mini van, loom went up in smoke
1984 MG Montego EFI, kept stopping and not restarting. Turned out to be faulty alternator
1987 Mk2 Cav 1.8 GLSi AA called to change wheel after it put on car by tyre centre and torqued to over 200lbs! snapped wheel brace and socket set "T" bar trying to remove
Same car, centre of preasure plate pushed out
1981 Opel Commadore "C", engine let go just after exiting Dartford tunnel, recovered home
1996 2.5 manuel Calibra, clutch cable snapped, kept starting up in first and limped home
2000 Omega estate, front came off air con pump, wiped out every thing accross the front of the engine. recovered home. Got second hand rad and hoses off TB following day
2000 Omega estate, leak off bung blew off no.6 injector and sprayed diesel all over rear of engine and hot exhaust on A14 at Stowmarket, recovered home
Same car, 80 mph blow out on rear earlier this year, got car accross to left lane and up slip road. changed it in turnoff at top and endured stinking ,smoking flat tyre in back alway home
Thats mine to date that I can remember.  Keith, B

[jonnyboyws6]

Lots, but my most impressive story was 4 of us in a Trans Am, driving along a cobbled street, bottomed out and cracked the trans pan. We didn't realise until the car ground to a halt, by which time we were on the main road right outside the town hall. Two gallons of ATF makes quite a mess. The AA had to tow us home. We were in Belgium, quite a long way from Grimsby...

[Teebee]

2.5 CDX sprung a leak on the last day of holiday in Devon, £600 recovery quote (I have AA cover now!), nursed it back to just past Salisbury filling up just over 6L of water every 20 miles. Finally dies when the layby I planned to stop in was blocked and had to carry on to the next, coasted into that one with no power and I discovered later an oil cooler plate with a 2" diameter hole burned in it! Recovered home for a much more reasonable £120.

Mk2 Capri burned out the clutch towing a scrap Beetle to the yard, pushed both back home.
1 week later the same Beetle had both nearside wheels fall off while on its 2nd tow to the yard, watched the first overtake me thinking "haha someone lost a wheel"  Finally got it to the yard.

Mk2 XJ6 lost a con rod through the block on the M40, covered all 3 lanes in a huge wall of smoke as it dumped its contents onto the exhaust.  Recovered home.

And the icing on the cake.... MK2 1.1 Escort estate had the exhaust blow on the M3 just past Fleet, still mobile so decide to go to the next junction. Didn't realise that the gearbox gater was missing under the centre console and got gassed in the car, woke up heading up the bank of a bridge, steered it back down but just run out of space and ended up driving it down the middle of the crash barrier protecting the bridge. It then leant to the left and and dragged along the concrete with me finally veering into lane 1 and then bringing it to a halt on the hard shoulder. End result was a split sump, split gearbox casing, split petrol tank, split diff, front to rear brake lines ripped clear off and it looked like someone had taken a cheese grater to the entire passenger side. 3 fire engines, 2 police cars and 1 ambulance in attendance, the fire engines apparently spending most of their time trying to clear the mix of fluids as my car had none left in it!! Recovered to the yard, following week I went down picked up my sunglasses and walked away from it, nothing at all worth saving.....