Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Gaffers]

DOG DIARY

 

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

 

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

 

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

 

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

 

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

 

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

 

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

 

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

 

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

 

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!

 

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

 

CAT DIARY

 

Day 983 of my captivity.


My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
 

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
 

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

 

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
 

B@stards!
 

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight . I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
 

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
 

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
 

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
 

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

 

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...

 
For now...

[psychnurse]

Cracking!! I love this! So does the Mrs!!  

[rickyboy]

Spot on, very funny.  

[Debs.]

  How very true and the reason I have doggies: their boundless enthusiasm for EVERYTHING keeps me feeing alive; even at times of strife!

[LJay]

Love it!  
You can train a dog but in the end a cat trains you!  

[amigov6]

I'm not a cat hater but prefer dogs. Loved them all but if i had to choose the best was a little black Cocker Spaniel called Lucky. He ws a rescue dog so the name came with him. He slept on my bed every night, i could walk him ANYWHERE without a lead. He loved everyone & everyone loved him. He had the individual playful habits thet all have. One day i dropped an empty plastic coke bottle on the floor & he attacked it, became a regular game thereafter.
   Sadly age caught up with him & Dad (being a vet) put him to sleep.
  As i stroked his head he put his paw in my other hand then stayed asleep. Lump in throat.

[Debs.]

I'm not a cat hater but prefer dogs. Loved them all but if i had to choose the best was a little black Cocker Spaniel called Lucky. He ws a rescue dog so the name came with him. He slept on my bed every night, i could walk him ANYWHERE without a lead. He loved everyone & everyone loved him. He had the individual playful habits thet all have. One day i dropped an empty plastic coke bottle on the floor & he attacked it, became a regular game thereafter.
   Sadly age caught up with him & Dad (being a vet) put him to sleep.
  As i stroked his head he put his paw in my other hand then stayed asleep. Lump in throat.

  Choking on same lump......tele-hug sent!

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Spot on Debs.Dogs are easily pleased,cats please themselves.

[willyboy]

Very funny  

[Vamps]

And soooo true, we have both..
Our cat has recently discovered baby rabbits

[Olympia5776]

Love it!  
You can train a dog but in the end a cat trains you!  

"How soooooo very true, Now if you don't mind dear boy run along and open a fresh tin of tuna.......Meaowwwwww"

[JonArgraig]

The "Guvnor"

Thinks nothing of attacking large dogs, stealing food off your fork, licking chillie sauce and love Stella..

But runs away like a girl from Spiders and Ants...

[cem_devecioglu]

after many years of living with animals - Although there are exceptional cases with various reasons - I got the conclusion that your pets (cats and dogs)  in a way reflect your personality specially if they grow up in your hands..

[Entwood]

I must be allergic to cats ...

I get the urge to boot, throw stones at, fire a water pistol at, borrow a shotgun, buy poison, castrate, disembowel, hang draw and quarter; everyone of the "cute" little mangy pests I see..

especially when they are crapping in my garden, stalking the birds on the birdtable, but MOSTLY when the horrible manky things curl up on the warm bonnet of my Miggy ... that is NOT acceptable under any circumstances.

Feral things should all be shot.

 

[cem_devecioglu]

I must be allergic to cats ...

I get the urge to boot, throw stones at, fire a water pistol at, borrow a shotgun, buy poison, castrate, disembowel, hang draw and quarter; everyone of the "cute" little mangy pests I see..

especially when they are crapping in my garden, stalking the birds on the birdtable, but MOSTLY when the horrible manky things curl up on the warm bonnet of my Miggy ... that is NOT acceptable under any circumstances.

Feral things should all be shot.

 

 

Well its necessary to warn the cats about you  

ps : I solve this "hot bed bonnet " problem with spraying water several times and train them to learn its not their bed..