Hello and welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM'.
Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
competition:
HIJACK AN AIRLINER
and win
A COUNCIL HOUSE!
We've already given away hundreds of millions of pounds and thousands of
dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The British Taxpayer.
And don't forget, we're now the fastest growing game on the planet.
Anyone can play, provided they don't already hold a valid British
Passport, and you only need one word of English:
'ASYLUM'
Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting
at £180 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and
accosting drivers at traffic lights.
This competition is open to everyone
buying a ticket or stowing away on one of our partner airlines, ferry
companies or Eurostar.
No application ever refused - reasonable or unreasonable.
All you have to do is destroy all your papers and remember the magic
password:
'ASYLUM'
A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were
flown Goat Class from Kabul to our international gateway at Stansted
where local law enforcement officers were on hand to fast-track them to
their luxury
£200-a-night rooms in the fabulous four star Hilton Hotel.
They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in
hotels all over Britain .
Our most popular destinations also include the White Cliffs of Dover and
the world famous Toddington Services area, in Historic Bedfordshire.
If you still don't understand the rules, don't forget, there's no need
to phone a friend or ask the audience
Just apply for legal aid.
Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.
It won't cost you a penny.
It could change your life forever.
So play today.
Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet
activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers,
bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas...
COME ON DOWN!
Get along to the airport!
Get along to the lorry park!
Get along to the ferry terminal!
Don't stop in Germany or France !
Go straight to Britain
And you are GUARANTEED to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners
in the softest game on earth.
Everyone's a winner, when they play
'ASYLUM'
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Topic: Welcome to a brand new edition of 'ASYLUM' (Read 513 times)