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[Mr Skrunts]

The urge to pee



Aunt Ivonne was in the garden tending to her flowers when she got the urge to pee. So she did and wiped off her dew on a rose. Uncle Fred came along later, picked up the rose, sniffed it, then ran to phone the newspaper editor.

"I found a rose that smells like a woman's you-know-what!"

The editor said, "That's nothing. When you find a you-know-what that smells like a rose, call me again."

[Mr Skrunts]

Penis Study

Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a mans' penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.

After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.

When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didnt really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00 ( 3 cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!

[Mr Skrunts]

Kinds of penises



A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."

"A Christmas tree?"

"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."

[Mr Skrunts]

Moral of the story


There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction.

The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself, "Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake.

What is the moral of the story?

Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...

[Mr Skrunts]

For a million dollars



A well-dressed man approached a voluptuously beautiful young woman on the street and said, "Would you have sex with me for a million dollars?"

"For a MILLION dollars?!" she replied, more than a little stunned, "Of course I would!"

"Well, would you sleep with me for twenty five dollars?"

"Twenty five dollars? Don't be ridiculous! What kind of girl do you take me for, anyway?"

"We've already established what kind of girl you are; now we're just haggling over price."

[Mr Skrunts]

Miss Bigtits



After traveling a few blocks, Miss Bigtits realized she had no money and, immediately informed the driver.

"You'd better stop. I can't pay you and it's ten dollars already," she said.
The driver checked her out in the rear-vision mirror. "That's okay," he said. "I'll turn down the first dark street, get in the back seat and take off your bra."

"You'd be cheating yourself," she replied.

"This bra is only worth five dollars."

[Dishevelled Den]

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Spendid

[Dishevelled Den]

Miss Bigtits



After traveling a few blocks, Miss Bigtits realized she had no money and, immediately informed the driver.

"You'd better stop. I can't pay you and it's ten dollars already," she said.
The driver checked her out in the rear-vision mirror. "That's okay," he said. "I'll turn down the first dark street, get in the back seat and take off your bra."

"You'd be cheating yourself," she replied.

"This bra is only worth five dollars."

  that's so sweet 

[Mr Skrunts]

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Spendid

6 jokes starting at "0"  Need to the the  correct.   

[Dishevelled Den]

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Spendid

6 jokes starting at "0"  Need to the the  correct.   

  yep got in there before you'd finished

[Lizzie_Zoom]

  To all of them!

I have laughed so much 'in bulk' that I must now take a trip to the little room!!

[dbug]

          ^^^^ also funny Lizzie