Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: F1 9LFG on 02 June 2012, 23:00:51
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Wanted advert
Family friends wanted for family in Braintree, Essex (no Essex jokes please-we're from London really)
We are a 'normal' family, I work all week and enjoy spending time with my 2 children when I can. My wife works hard to ensure the kids have all they need for school etc and maintains the family home (very well).
My children have been brought up with manors, respect and loyalty - They are punished when they do wrong and are praised when they do well.
I want my kids to grow up knowing that they must work hard to gain an education and earn their own money to support themselves.
We (as a family) have gone through family friends like they are going out of fashion - 'ex' friends who simply don't share the same values etc.
A few things that we don't agree with below
Children;
-Don't show enough of an interest in their children’s development.
-Let them run riot.
-Fail to discipline them
-feed them junk food instead of cooking proper meals
-Shout and scream at them constantly (including swearing at them/while talking to them)
Lifestyle;
-Have no aspirations to do anything as a family at weekends (even things that are free like walking in the woods etc)
-Sitting in front of a PC/TV screen all day when things in the house need doing
-Feel it's ok to have a filthy household
-Don't see the point in working when the state can pay for everything
-Think drug use and a 6pk of beers every night is acceptable
I could go on, but basically I class my family as a 'good family unit' with a future and children who will grow up to do well in their lives and have respect etc.
We've had so many friends through the school but never made any good family friends, don't read this and think 'you sound like a snob' far from it, I want whets best for my family and want to have friends who share that belief - but we just can't seem to find them!!
Part of the problem (I think) is that out of the 50+ children’s families in my 2 kids respective classes at school we are one of the only families who are A) Together i.e. I am with my 2 children’s mother B) We are dependent on my salary, not the next DSS payment and C) want our children to do well.
Don't get me wrong, relationships don't always work out, I get that - but we seem to be the only family still together. I must be one of the only parents who actually works a full time 'proper' job.
I understand that benefits are there for people who need them (dad has left after having a baby etc and people off work through no fault of their own, illness redundancy etc) but there are they as a safety net - not as a lifestyle choice!
All we seem to find is what I call 'dead end' people, whose life is evolved around council housing, DSS payments, daytime TV and have no wishes for their kids to go places in their lives.
Interested to hear other people’s thoughts on the above, (obviously text can be read several different ways) but as a generalisation are we that different?
Maybe it is just us - maybe I expect too much from others I don't know....
(Sorry RANT OVER)
Rob
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Maybe you should look at the reason you have so many ''ex'' friends :y
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Maybe you should look at the reason you have so many ''ex'' friends :y
It would seem that finding people we have anything in common with is the problem. I have frineds, as does my wife, but family friends, with kids etc.
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Maybe you should look at the reason you have so many ''ex'' friends :y
It would seem that finding people we have anything in common with is the problem. I have frineds, as does my wife, but family friends, with kids etc.
So if you have friends already why don't you do things with you, your kids and your friend (s) that don't have kids?
Don't take this the wrong way but I find it a bit bizarre you want secific friends for certain ''occasions'' like going to the park with the kids.
As said, not intended to offend.... :y
I got a set of 4 best mates from school. Man we get together every week, have a blast, then it's back to the wife :y
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Maybe you should look at the reason you have so many ''ex'' friends :y
It would seem that finding people we have anything in common with is the problem. I have frineds, as does my wife, but family friends, with kids etc.
So if you have friends already why don't you do things with you, your kids and your friend (s) that don't have kids?
Don't take this the wrong way but I find it a bit bizarre you want secific friends for certain ''occasions'' like going to the park with the kids.
As said, not intended to offend.... :y
I got a set of 4 best mates from school. Man we get together every week, have a blast, then it's back to the wife :y
Not after that at all,
It's hard to explain...For a start I think that there are only 4/5 Dads that I've ever seen at the school (not that I do the daily school runs due to work)
At our old place we had a few families that we'd spend time with, together as families and due to our lifestyles being similar we always seemed to get on better. Hard to explain really but we just seem to be so vastly different to anyone else round here!
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Yes, this whole question of whether it's necessary to have friends to feel fulfilled in this life fascinates me.
Being quite misanthropic and, given the nature of my employment over the years, I haven’t had the 'luxury' of having friends - close colleagues yes, but friends no.
My one true friend is my wife as she has been with me through some very dangerous times and has given me both strength and encouragement by the bucket full when things became very difficult during those years. By choice, we had no children.
I’m quite capable in communicating with others, quite personable in social circumstances, quite capable in doing things for myself (and others when the need arises) so I don’t really find myself to be disadvantaged by the lack of having ‘friends’ – but then I’m the first to admit that, although well adjusted and quite ordinary in temperament, I’m an odd big bastid.
I suppose to get to the kernel of such questions we would have to define just what a friend is and how a having a ‘close friend’ differs to that.
It’s a strange post all the same - if you don’t mind my saying, as I would imagine that should one have to advertise for friends those who may answer may well turn out to be anything but.
I would suggest that the acquisition of friends would be the natural result of inter-relating with others in an open and honest fashion – without precondition or expectation.
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Yes, this whole question of whether it's necessary to have friends to feel fulfilled in this life fascinates me.
Being quite misanthropic and, given the nature of my employment over the years, I haven’t had the 'luxury' of having friends - close colleagues yes, but friends no.
My one true friend is my wife as she has been with me through some very dangerous times and has given me both strength and encouragement by the bucket full when things became very difficult during those years. By choice, we had no children.
I’m quite capable in communicating with others, quite personable in social circumstances, quite capable in doing things for myself (and others when the need arises) so I don’t really find myself to be disadvantaged by the lack of having ‘friends’ – but then I’m the first to admit that, although well adjusted and quite ordinary in temperament, I’m an odd big bastid.
I suppose to get to the kernel of such questions we would have to define just what a friend is and how a having a ‘close friend’ differs to that.
It’s a strange post all the same - if you don’t mind my saying, as I would imagine that should one have to advertise for friends those who may answer may well turn out to be anything but.
I would suggest that the acquisition of friends would be the natural result of inter-relating with others in an open and honest fashion – without precondition or expectation.
Agreed.
Also to the OP... you don't have to have the same views or even have anything in common with folk for them to become friends. You like who you like and as Den so eloquently put you should forge friendships naturally. Unless you're the Beckham's; but that's completely different...
Maybe you expect too much hence the disappointment or lack of friends? :-\
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If I were hoping to meet the type of people you describe,I dont think I would be living in Braintree. ;) :D ;D ;D
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The single parent factor at schools has been going for many years now. I am 55 my daughter is 26 , so more than15 years since she was at primary school. I can remember a situation where SWMBO was raging about a decision made by the head mistress back then.
The children in my daughters class (probably 8/9 year olds then) had all made mothers day cards to take home . Come fathers day day a few weeks later the children were not allowed to do the same as almost all of them did not have either a father living with them or they did not know their father. :o :o :o :o
Where we live has a mixture of both private & local authority housing , so fairly common with many areas in the UK I would think.
Sign of the times nowadays I'm afraid . . . seems to be the excepted way of life for a lot of people.
Without prejudice, I am thinking that some areas are worse than others though . . but as Albs says Braintree may not be the best area for what you are looking for . . . . somewhere like Purley in Surrey may be more suitable. ::) ::) ::)
But hope you find what you are looking for . . :-\ :-\
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Wanted advert
Family friends wanted for family in Braintree, Essex (no Essex jokes please-we're from London really)
We are a 'normal' family, I work all week and enjoy spending time with my 2 children when I can. My wife works hard to ensure the kids have all they need for school etc and maintains the family home (very well).
My children have been brought up with manors, respect and loyalty - They are punished when they do wrong and are praised when they do well.
I want my kids to grow up knowing that they must work hard to gain an education and earn their own money to support themselves.
We (as a family) have gone through family friends like they are going out of fashion - 'ex' friends who simply don't share the same values etc.
A few things that we don't agree with below
Children;
-Don't show enough of an interest in their children’s development.
-Let them run riot.
-Fail to discipline them
-feed them junk food instead of cooking proper meals
-Shout and scream at them constantly (including swearing at them/while talking to them)
Lifestyle;
-Have no aspirations to do anything as a family at weekends (even things that are free like walking in the woods etc)
-Sitting in front of a PC/TV screen all day when things in the house need doing
-Feel it's ok to have a filthy household
-Don't see the point in working when the state can pay for everything
-Think drug use and a 6pk of beers every night is acceptable
I could go on, but basically I class my family as a 'good family unit' with a future and children who will grow up to do well in their lives and have respect etc.
We've had so many friends through the school but never made any good family friends, don't read this and think 'you sound like a snob' far from it, I want whets best for my family and want to have friends who share that belief - but we just can't seem to find them!!
Part of the problem (I think) is that out of the 50+ children’s families in my 2 kids respective classes at school we are one of the only families who are A) Together i.e. I am with my 2 children’s mother B) We are dependent on my salary, not the next DSS payment and C) want our children to do well.
Don't get me wrong, relationships don't always work out, I get that - but we seem to be the only family still together. I must be one of the only parents who actually works a full time 'proper' job.
I understand that benefits are there for people who need them (dad has left after having a baby etc and people off work through no fault of their own, illness redundancy etc) but there are they as a safety net - not as a lifestyle choice!
All we seem to find is what I call 'dead end' people, whose life is evolved around council housing, DSS payments, daytime TV and have no wishes for their kids to go places in their lives.
Interested to hear other people’s thoughts on the above, (obviously text can be read several different ways) but as a generalisation are we that different?
Maybe it is just us - maybe I expect too much from others I don't know....
(Sorry RANT OVER)
Rob
I've worked everyday since I left school in the 80's and the only time I haven't was last year when I lost my job and had my knee op. I live in a Housing Authority property..... but like you have the same values.
My kids get disciplined, well the 3year old does and the 6mth baby gets a little bit of leeway ;D ;D ;D
Just because I live in rented and not my own mortgaged house, doesn't make me any less of a descent person ::) :y
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A complicated post if the situation around you is as you describe. The bottom line at the simplest level is that you moved to the wrong area and you need to spend time identifying a better area for your next move.
However, being constructive, there may be a couple of things that you can do - and I have done them myself as the best response to improving one's surroundings.
1. School - why not consider becoming school governor or attending any parent teacher meetings - not just to complain but to offer your assistance and ideas to make things better.
2. Residents Association or equivalent - get involved and see how others see your area
3. Local Council - have a chat with your Councillors and discuss privately your concens and seek to identify groups who might have common interests with you.
There are many other ways to get ideas to help address your concerns just by looking at the info available in local press, residents leaflets etc.
-
Yes, this whole question of whether it's necessary to have friends to feel fulfilled in this life fascinates me.
Being quite misanthropic and, given the nature of my employment over the years, I haven’t had the 'luxury' of having friends - close colleagues yes, but friends no.
My one true friend is my wife as she has been with me through some very dangerous times and has given me both strength and encouragement by the bucket full when things became very difficult during those years. By choice, we had no children.
I’m quite capable in communicating with others, quite personable in social circumstances, quite capable in doing things for myself (and others when the need arises) so I don’t really find myself to be disadvantaged by the lack of having ‘friends’ – but then I’m the first to admit that, although well adjusted and quite ordinary in temperament, I’m an odd big bastid.
I suppose to get to the kernel of such questions we would have to define just what a friend is and how a having a ‘close friend’ differs to that.
It’s a strange post all the same - if you don’t mind my saying, as I would imagine that should one have to advertise for friends those who may answer may well turn out to be anything but.
I would suggest that the acquisition of friends would be the natural result of inter-relating with others in an open and honest fashion – without precondition or expectation.
Agreed.
Also to the OP... you don't have to have the same views or even have anything in common with folk for them to become friends. You like who you like and as Den so eloquently put you should forge friendships naturally. Unless you're the Beckham's; but that's completely different...
Maybe you expect too much hence the disappointment or lack of friends? :-\
This post was not a 'real' advert for finding friends, I wouldn't expect a future friend to actually reply and us strike up a blooming friendship. :y
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If I were hoping to meet the type of people you describe,I dont think I would be living in Braintree. ;) :D ;D ;D
Do you know what Albs, I think you are spot on the money there!! ;D I think we live in the wrong town!!!!
We used to live near Halstead and it was a completely different way of life up there for everyone
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Wanted advert
Family friends wanted for family in Braintree, Essex (no Essex jokes please-we're from London really)
We are a 'normal' family, I work all week and enjoy spending time with my 2 children when I can. My wife works hard to ensure the kids have all they need for school etc and maintains the family home (very well).
My children have been brought up with manors, respect and loyalty - They are punished when they do wrong and are praised when they do well.
I want my kids to grow up knowing that they must work hard to gain an education and earn their own money to support themselves.
We (as a family) have gone through family friends like they are going out of fashion - 'ex' friends who simply don't share the same values etc.
A few things that we don't agree with below
Children;
-Don't show enough of an interest in their children’s development.
-Let them run riot.
-Fail to discipline them
-feed them junk food instead of cooking proper meals
-Shout and scream at them constantly (including swearing at them/while talking to them)
Lifestyle;
-Have no aspirations to do anything as a family at weekends (even things that are free like walking in the woods etc)
-Sitting in front of a PC/TV screen all day when things in the house need doing
-Feel it's ok to have a filthy household
-Don't see the point in working when the state can pay for everything
-Think drug use and a 6pk of beers every night is acceptable
I could go on, but basically I class my family as a 'good family unit' with a future and children who will grow up to do well in their lives and have respect etc.
We've had so many friends through the school but never made any good family friends, don't read this and think 'you sound like a snob' far from it, I want whets best for my family and want to have friends who share that belief - but we just can't seem to find them!!
Part of the problem (I think) is that out of the 50+ children’s families in my 2 kids respective classes at school we are one of the only families who are A) Together i.e. I am with my 2 children’s mother B) We are dependent on my salary, not the next DSS payment and C) want our children to do well.
Don't get me wrong, relationships don't always work out, I get that - but we seem to be the only family still together. I must be one of the only parents who actually works a full time 'proper' job.
I understand that benefits are there for people who need them (dad has left after having a baby etc and people off work through no fault of their own, illness redundancy etc) but there are they as a safety net - not as a lifestyle choice!
All we seem to find is what I call 'dead end' people, whose life is evolved around council housing, DSS payments, daytime TV and have no wishes for their kids to go places in their lives.
Interested to hear other people’s thoughts on the above, (obviously text can be read several different ways) but as a generalisation are we that different?
Maybe it is just us - maybe I expect too much from others I don't know....
(Sorry RANT OVER)
Rob
I've worked everyday since I left school in the 80's and the only time I haven't was last year when I lost my job and had my knee op. I live in a Housing Authority property..... but like you have the same values.
My kids get disciplined, well the 3year old does and the 6mth baby gets a little bit of leeway ;D ;D ;D
Just because I live in rented and not my own mortgaged house, doesn't make me any less of a descent person ::) :y
Good for you - well done :y
but No no no, please don't take offence to what I've said. I mentioned that council housing and benefits are there for 'those who need them' and I do know a fair few people who I know do need them, but it's the folk who 'choose' to opt for the state-paid lifestyle that gets to me. :y
-
A complicated post if the situation around you is as you describe. The bottom line at the simplest level is that you moved to the wrong area and you need to spend time identifying a better area for your next move.
However, being constructive, there may be a couple of things that you can do - and I have done them myself as the best response to improving one's surroundings.
1. School - why not consider becoming school governor or attending any parent teacher meetings - not just to complain but to offer your assistance and ideas to make things better.
2. Residents Association or equivalent - get involved and see how others see your area
3. Local Council - have a chat with your Councillors and discuss privately your concens and seek to identify groups who might have common interests with you.
There are many other ways to get ideas to help address your concerns just by looking at the info available in local press, residents leaflets etc.
Totally agree with that, I attend every meeting at the school, PTA meetings, consultation meetings and would love to become a governor myself but worry that I won't be able to commit to meetings etc but maybe I should go down this avenue.
The other points are good too, thanks :y
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This post was not a 'real' advert for finding friends, I wouldn't expect a future friend to actually reply and us strike up a blooming friendship. :y
Aah I see - more rhetorical and ironic (to an extent) than anything else - fairy-nuff :y
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This post was not a 'real' advert for finding friends, I wouldn't expect a future friend to actually reply and us strike up a blooming friendship. :y
Aah I see - more rhetorical and ironic (to an extent) than anything else - fairy-nuff :y
;D understand that it's not lightly to happen but if it does then great - but this was just a vent really and to see what others thought. :y
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The single parent factor at schools has been going for many years now. I am 55 my daughter is 26 , so more than15 years since she was at primary school. I can remember a situation where SWMBO was raging about a decision made by the head mistress back then.
The children in my daughters class (probably 8/9 year olds then) had all made mothers day cards to take home . Come fathers day day a few weeks later the children were not allowed to do the same as almost all of them did not have either a father living with them or they did not know their father. :o :o :o :o
Where we live has a mixture of both private & local authority housing , so fairly common with many areas in the UK I would think.
Sign of the times nowadays I'm afraid . . . seems to be the excepted way of life for a lot of people.
Without prejudice, I am thinking that some areas are worse than others though . . but as Albs says Braintree may not be the best area for what you are looking for . . . . somewhere like Purley in Surrey may be more suitable. ::) ::) ::)
But hope you find what you are looking for . . :-\ :-\
That's shocking but maybe a sign of the times, seems that less families are managing to stick together. :(
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I live on a council estate, although about 50% are owner-occupied, and this used to be a happy, well-knit community.
Then I moved in.
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is not unbelivable you dont have many friends....i don't know of anyone who as a shopping list for friend let alone ask for them
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I live on a council estate, although about 50% are owner-occupied, and this used to be a happy, well-knit community.
Then I moved in.
;D
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is not unbelivable you dont have many friends....i don't know of anyone who as a shopping list for friend let alone ask for them
???
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Nothing wrong with Essex. Who could wish for better friends than these? :)
http://youtu.be/Vt5lNvnhib0 (http://youtu.be/Vt5lNvnhib0)
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
Uncalled for.
You missed the point completely. And read the post in a way I hoped people wouldn't (as stated - text can be read several different ways)
It's not meant as a dig to anyone, nor am I looking down my nose at anyone.
Please don't take offence, it's not meant like that. Please try and re-read the post with a more open mind to my particular situation.
Single mums - fine, no problem with them, We know quite a few of them and get on well.
People who live in council flats - again we know a few and get on ok.
It's hard to word this type of discussion without someone reading it and taking offence but it's not my intent.
:y
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
My pleasure sweetie :-* :-* :-*
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Nothing wrong with Essex. Who could wish for better friends than these? :)
http://youtu.be/Vt5lNvnhib0 (http://youtu.be/Vt5lNvnhib0)
I wondered how long it would be before something from TOWE popped up!!
;D ;D
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
My pleasure sweetie :-* :-* :-*
The pleasure is all mine darling. ;D
Are you a family man?
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Yes, this whole question of whether it's necessary to have friends to feel fulfilled in this life fascinates me.
Being quite misanthropic and, given the nature of my employment over the years, I haven’t had the 'luxury' of having friends - close colleagues yes, but friends no.
My one true friend is my wife as she has been with me through some very dangerous times and has given me both strength and encouragement by the bucket full when things became very difficult during those years. By choice, we had no children.
I’m quite capable in communicating with others, quite personable in social circumstances, quite capable in doing things for myself (and others when the need arises) so I don’t really find myself to be disadvantaged by the lack of having ‘friends’ – but then I’m the first to admit that, although well adjusted and quite ordinary in temperament, I’m an odd big bastid.
I suppose to get to the kernel of such questions we would have to define just what a friend is and how a having a ‘close friend’ differs to that.
It’s a strange post all the same - if you don’t mind my saying, as I would imagine that should one have to advertise for friends those who may answer may well turn out to be anything but.
I would suggest that the acquisition of friends would be the natural result of inter-relating with others in an open and honest fashion – without precondition or expectation.
excellently worded :y
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
My pleasure sweetie :-* :-* :-*
The pleasure is all mine darling. ;D
Are you a family man?
;D ;D ;D
Yup :y
Been with the missus for nearly 21 years (now what do you get for murder ;D ;D)
I've a 23 year old that i've brought up as my own lad because his sperm donor breaked off when swmbo was 6 months pregnant (w*nker)
We have a 16 year old lad together :y :y
I come from a working class family who started and the bottom and have worked for everything they have got. (no silver spoons in mouth / up arse in my family) ;D ;D
Swmbo comes from the similar and has lived in a council house nearly all her life :y :y
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I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
My pleasure sweetie :-* :-* :-*
The pleasure is all mine darling. ;D
Are you a family man?
;D ;D ;D
Yup :y
Been with the missus for nearly 21 years (now what do you get for murder ;D ;D)
I've a 23 year old that i've brought up as my own lad because his sperm donor breaked off when swmbo was 6 months pregnant (w*nker)
We have a 16 year old lad together :y :y
I come from a working class family who started and the bottom and have worked for everything they have got. (no silver spoons in mouth / up arse in my family) ;D ;D
Swmbo comes from the similar and has lived in a council house nearly all her life :y :y
Well done - I'm very pleased for you all. And well done for taking on your Wifes lad :y
From what you say I would have thought that you'd understand more than most.
You've worked for what you have now, obviously want the best for your children (given that you've raised someone elses lad which I can only imagine is harder than raising your own!)
You must understand why I get annoyed that I am surrounded by people who opt for the 'free' lifestyle - who can't be bothered to work for what they own/where they live and have no intentions on bettering their live/live of their kids?
define 'life sentance' ;D Me and my lady have made it 8years, how long's left on a life sentance! :y
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em tricky not to offend some one or other well no one ever died from words,but my thoughts are that this great country is now a melting pot of criminals from all over the world and spongers on the state i feel like a secound rate citizen in my own country and im pissed of with it,i dont care if you black white pink or marsion if your a tit your a tit.
im ex navy subs joint service marine sbs and later raf reg and untill this government gets a spine its not getting eny better, as for freinds i can count the good ones on one hand most just use you for what you can do for them .
totaly agree with your thoughts ,no respect no disapline no asperations to do better and most have no thoughts on enything or be able to string a sentance together,sorry again my rant over no offence to whom ever may take it.
RIP all my fallen comrades ,falklands,gulf.
im lucky i live in an area where most what to do well,and the schools are very good.
-
I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
My pleasure sweetie :-* :-* :-*
The pleasure is all mine darling. ;D
Are you a family man?
;D ;D ;D
Yup :y
Been with the missus for nearly 21 years (now what do you get for murder ;D ;D)
I've a 23 year old that i've brought up as my own lad because his sperm donor breaked off when swmbo was 6 months pregnant (w*nker)
We have a 16 year old lad together :y :y
I come from a working class family who started and the bottom and have worked for everything they have got. (no silver spoons in mouth / up arse in my family) ;D ;D
Swmbo comes from the similar and has lived in a council house nearly all her life :y :y
Well done - I'm very pleased for you all. And well done for taking on your Wifes lad :y
From what you say I would have thought that you'd understand more than most.
You've worked for what you have now, obviously want the best for your children (given that you've raised someone elses lad which I can only imagine is harder than raising your own!)
You must understand why I get annoyed that I am surrounded by people who opt for the 'free' lifestyle - who can't be bothered to work for what they own/where they live and have no intentions on bettering their live/live of their kids?
define 'life sentance' ;D Me and my lady have made it 8years, how long's left on a life sentance! :y
Is this a thread about the lack of like-minded friends in Essex..........or the current state of the welfare system?
-
I was brought up in a block of flats on a council estate (Heath Town) by a single Mother so I guess I am almost one of the 'dead end people' the o.p. refers too!
My Partner (also a member of the perceived under classes) and I are both 36 years of age and have been together since we were 19, we have one ten year old child who I fully expect and sincerely hope will enjoy the benefit of two Parents as she progresses through childhood.
It seems to me that the o.p. should move to a better area, he may then be able to find some friends who are more compatible with his values, morals and aspirations.
It seems to me that they need to get a life the sad tinkers ::)
In fact they can come and live down our street. (all council houses / 80% own there own home)
I'm sure we could have lots of fun with them ;) :-X
helpful, constructive and very mature - Thanks for your input :y
My pleasure sweetie :-* :-* :-*
The pleasure is all mine darling. ;D
Are you a family man?
;D ;D ;D
Yup :y
Been with the missus for nearly 21 years (now what do you get for murder ;D ;D)
I've a 23 year old that i've brought up as my own lad because his sperm donor breaked off when swmbo was 6 months pregnant (w*nker)
We have a 16 year old lad together :y :y
I come from a working class family who started and the bottom and have worked for everything they have got. (no silver spoons in mouth / up arse in my family) ;D ;D
Swmbo comes from the similar and has lived in a council house nearly all her life :y :y
Well done - I'm very pleased for you all. And well done for taking on your Wifes lad :y
From what you say I would have thought that you'd understand more than most.
You've worked for what you have now, obviously want the best for your children (given that you've raised someone elses lad which I can only imagine is harder than raising your own!)
You must understand why I get annoyed that I am surrounded by people who opt for the 'free' lifestyle - who can't be bothered to work for what they own/where they live and have no intentions on bettering their live/live of their kids?
define 'life sentance' ;D Me and my lady have made it 8years, how long's left on a life sentance! :y
Is this a thread about the lack of like-minded friends in Essex..........or the current state of the welfare system?
Just that I'm concerned that I am offending others but explaining my feelings. You're right the post has drifted slightly but it's a factor that I feel is contributating to my struggle to find 'like minded' friends. Does that make sense?
-
Not sure it is a friends issue - it is whether your family is growing up in an environment that you are not comfortable with and you feel the need to do something about it. As said it does not sound as though friends will solve the problem. It seems that those you mix with on a day to day basis do not set a good example to their kids and therefore there is a possible knock on effect.
This needs your careful attention away from this forum to discuss with persons in your area who may offer sound advice. I gave some pointers earlier. I can understand why you posted originally but it is a bit too complicated for people to respond to on a forum like this. There will be others in your local authority and local groups who can better contribute than we can I think.
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Not sure it is a friends issue - it is whether your family is growing up in an environment that you are not comfortable with and you feel the need to do something about it. As said it does not sound as though friends will solve the problem. It seems that those you mix with on a day to day basis do not set a good example to their kids and therefore there is a possible knock on effect.
This needs your careful attention away from this forum to discuss with persons in your area who may offer sound advice. I gave some pointers earlier. I can understand why you posted originally but it is a bit too complicated for people to respond to on a forum like this. There will be others in your local authority and local groups who can better contribute than we can I think.
I think your right. Thank you :y
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em tricky not to offend some one or other well no one ever died from words,but my thoughts are that this great country is now a melting pot of criminals from all over the world and spongers on the state i feel like a secound rate citizen in my own country and im pissed of with it,i dont care if you black white pink or marsion if your a tit your a tit.
im ex navy subs joint service marine sbs and later raf reg and untill this government gets a spine its not getting eny better, as for freinds i can count the good ones on one hand most just use you for what you can do for them .
totaly agree with your thoughts ,no respect no disapline no asperations to do better and most have no thoughts on enything or be able to string a sentance together,sorry again my rant over no offence to whom ever may take it.
RIP all my fallen comrades ,falklands,gulf.
im lucky i live in an area where most what to do well,and the schools are very good.
Agree mate - Thanks.
And RIP indeed to the fallen.
-
just some other details that may assist people understand where I'm coming from...
I'm 27 years old, SWMBO is 26. We've been together 8 years. We understand the inplications of having children and the long term commitments that they demand, with that in mind we proceeded to have 2 children, one is now 6 and the other 4. (both girls - for my sins!)
I tried hard at school, went on to college while working a part time job to fund it and entered work at about 19. I've worked hard and progressed very nicely for my age. I have consistantly been the youngest member of every dept I've worked in - I now manage the facilities of 17 buildings in and around London.
Yes it's hard out there but I've always managed to work and find a job. I have spent a while out of work on benefits in the past but thats what I pay tax for when I am at work, to provide the safety net when I get made redundent, I have always taken the first job I could secure.
Yes we are a young family but we stick together, work hard and do all we can for our children to push them in the right direction and show them right from wrong. We just haven't found any family locally to us who are doing the same!
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You missed the point completely.
It's hard to word this type of discussion without someone reading it and taking offence but it's not my intent.
Please don't take offence, it's not meant like that. Please try and re-read the post with a more open mind to my particular situation.
The point seemed to be that you don't like mixing with the people around you.
I haven't taken any personal offence at your posts, although I do object to being called narrow minded, I'm just putting across my slant on life!
Not all people who find themselves living on housing estates are scum, just a very small percentage! :y
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em tricky not to offend some one or other well no one ever died from words,but my thoughts are that this great country is now a melting pot of criminals from all over the world and spongers on the state i feel like a secound rate citizen in my own country and im pissed of with it,i dont care if you black white pink or marsion if your a tit your a tit.
im ex navy subs joint service marine sbs and later raf reg and untill this government gets a spine its not getting eny better, as for freinds i can count the good ones on one hand most just use you for what you can do for them .
totaly agree with your thoughts ,no respect no disapline no asperations to do better and most have no thoughts on enything or be able to string a sentance together,sorry again my rant over no offence to whom ever may take it.
RIP all my fallen comrades ,falklands,gulf.
im lucky i live in an area where most what to do well,and the schools are very good.
if your a tit your a tit
Do you know Pirate, in those few words I believe you may have got right to the kernel of many issues and, furthermore, I think that's why many people continue to do stupid things and make poor choices. :y
-
Rob
My advise is .............. get your arse down to the local pub and have a few beers with the people you live around.
Keep yourself to yourself and (the main thing) RELAX ;)
You will find that after a few evenings, the people who live around you will strike up a conversation.
Just join in :y
Ffs, don't judge anybody because everybody's life is different.
Being my own boss for nearly 20 years, I have met a hell of alot of people.
Believe this or not, some of the most genuine, "what you see is what you get" people I have ever met live in a council house / flat.
And some of the biggest w*nkers I have ever met live in a nice house with 2 nice cars and on the face of it, they look like the perfect family ............ BUT they are totaly false and I wouldn't trust them as far as I could thow them ;)
Some have had sh*t lifes for various reasons.
Some have made mistakes for various reasons.
As the saying goes .............. you can't judge a book by its cover.
Friends are just that ............ friends.
You can't manufacture them, it just happens ;)
Just a quickie on the "people who can't be arsed to work" bit.
5 years ago, i'd have agreed with all that.
Nowdays, there are very little jobs and for certain folks of a certain age / qualifications, you have no chance of employment.
Being sat on your arse is the most depressing thing that can happen and until it happens to you, you can't understand what it does to your self esteem and your head. So it might be a idea to cut the rest of the world a little slack and not judge them ;)
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You missed the point completely.
It's hard to word this type of discussion without someone reading it and taking offence but it's not my intent.
Please don't take offence, it's not meant like that. Please try and re-read the post with a more open mind to my particular situation.
The point seemed to be that you don't like mixing with the people around you.
I haven't taken any personal offence at your posts, although I do object to being called narrow minded, I'm just putting across my slant on life!
Not all people who find themselves living on housing estates are scum, just a very small percentage! :y
But thats the point - where am I implying that? ???
In that sense I'm aiming at people who 'choose' to live in a council house and rely on the state to fund it + everything else.
Glad you haven't taken offence. :y
-
Rob
My advise is .............. get your arse down to the local pub and have a few beers with the people you live around.
Keep yourself to yourself and (the main thing) RELAX ;)
You will find that after a few evenings, the people who live around you will strike up a conversation.
Just join in :y
Ffs, don't judge anybody because everybody's life is different.
Being my own boss for nearly 20 years, I have met a hell of alot of people.
Believe this or not, some of the most genuine, "what you see is what you get" people I have ever met live in a council house / flat.
And some of the biggest w*nkers I have ever met live in a nice house with 2 nice cars and on the face of it, they look like the perfect family ............ BUT they are totaly false and I wouldn't trust them as far as I could thow them ;)
Some have had sh*t lifes for various reasons.
Some have made mistakes for various reasons.
As the saying goes .............. you can't judge a book by its cover.
Friends are just that ............ friends.
You can't manufacture them, it just happens ;)
Just a quickie on the "people who can't be arsed to work" bit.
5 years ago, i'd have agreed with all that.
Nowdays, there are very little jobs and for certain folks of a certain age / qualifications, you have no chance of employment.
Being sat on your arse is the most depressing thing that can happen and until it happens to you, you can't understand what it does to your self esteem and your head. So it might be a idea to cut the rest of the world a little slack and not judge them ;)
Yer I often do that, and with the friends I do have, just find it so so hard to find families to be freinds with who share the same stresses of work & kids etc.
Oh and I know how hard work is to find at the moment, esp those slightly older and as you say with little qualifications but round here all I see is 20-30 year olds who can't be arsed and don't try. I was out of work last year for 6months but I never gave up and secured a great job. There are jobs if you're willing to work. (I know there are exceptions to some people-totally understand) I'm sick of hearing ''why should I work, I can live on benefits'' etc
-
em tricky not to offend some one or other well no one ever died from words,but my thoughts are that this great country is now a melting pot of criminals from all over the world and spongers on the state i feel like a secound rate citizen in my own country and im pissed of with it,i dont care if you black white pink or marsion if your a tit your a tit.
im ex navy subs joint service marine sbs and later raf reg and untill this government gets a spine its not getting eny better, as for freinds i can count the good ones on one hand most just use you for what you can do for them .
totaly agree with your thoughts ,no respect no disapline no asperations to do better and most have no thoughts on enything or be able to string a sentance together,sorry again my rant over no offence to whom ever may take it.
RIP all my fallen comrades ,falklands,gulf.
im lucky i live in an area where most what to do well,and the schools are very good.
if your a tit your a tit
Do you know Pirate, in those few words I believe you may have got right to the kernel of many issues and, furthermore, I think that's why many people continue to do stupid things and make poor choices. :y
I also admit I enjoyed reading it too.
-
Rob
My advise is .............. get your arse down to the local pub and have a few beers with the people you live around.
Keep yourself to yourself and (the main thing) RELAX ;)
You will find that after a few evenings, the people who live around you will strike up a conversation.
Just join in :y
Ffs, don't judge anybody because everybody's life is different.
Being my own boss for nearly 20 years, I have met a hell of alot of people.
Believe this or not, some of the most genuine, "what you see is what you get" people I have ever met live in a council house / flat.
And some of the biggest w*nkers I have ever met live in a nice house with 2 nice cars and on the face of it, they look like the perfect family ............ BUT they are totaly false and I wouldn't trust them as far as I could thow them ;)
Some have had sh*t lifes for various reasons.
Some have made mistakes for various reasons.
As the saying goes .............. you can't judge a book by its cover.
Friends are just that ............ friends.
You can't manufacture them, it just happens ;)
Just a quickie on the "people who can't be arsed to work" bit.
5 years ago, i'd have agreed with all that.
Nowdays, there are very little jobs and for certain folks of a certain age / qualifications, you have no chance of employment.
Being sat on your arse is the most depressing thing that can happen and until it happens to you, you can't understand what it does to your self esteem and your head. So it might be a idea to cut the rest of the world a little slack and not judge them ;)
Yer I often do that, and with the friends I do have, just find it so so hard to find families to be freinds with who share the same stresses of work & kids etc.
Oh and I know how hard work is to find at the moment, esp those slightly older and as you say with little qualifications but round here all I see is 20-30 year olds who can't be arsed and don't try. I was out of work last year for 6months but I never gave up and secured a great job. There are jobs if you're willing to work. (I know there are exceptions to some people-totally understand) I'm sick of hearing ''why should I work, I can live on benefits'' etc
They need a good kicking in my book ;)
-
Someone had to put this in here - no apologies
Harvey & Rabbit - "Friends" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2DqWfUdI8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2DqWfUdI8)
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For what it's worth F1 9LFG, I read and understood your original post the first time :y
-
Someone had to put this in here - no apologies
Harvey & Rabbit - "Friends" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2DqWfUdI8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA2DqWfUdI8)
None needed ;D ;D ;D
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For what it's worth F1 9LFG, I read and understood your original post the first time :y
I'm pleased - It's not a dig at anyone, anyones life or upbringing. Cheers :y
-
/snipped
Yes we are a young family but we stick together, work hard and do all we can for our children to push them in the right direction and show them right from wrong. We just haven't found any family locally to us who are doing the same!
Getting on subject though - I think you have said it all here and that is all you can do.
I have found that friends seem to occur naturally and become as such without any kind of analysis or need for a specification.
HTH
Phil
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/snipped
Yes we are a young family but we stick together, work hard and do all we can for our children to push them in the right direction and show them right from wrong. We just haven't found any family locally to us who are doing the same!
Getting on subject though - I think you have said it all here and that is all you can do.
I have found that friends seem to occur naturally and become as such without any kind of analysis or need for a specification.
HTH
Phil
Agreed. Thanks. It was just getting to me that's all.
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Thanks to all who have replied - OOF's input is always welcomed :y
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Wanted advert
Family friends wanted for family in Braintree, Essex (no Essex jokes please-we're from London really)
We are a 'normal' family, I work all week and enjoy spending time with my 2 children when I can. My wife works hard to ensure the kids have all they need for school etc and maintains the family home (very well).
My children have been brought up with manors, respect and loyalty - They are punished when they do wrong and are praised when they do well.
I want my kids to grow up knowing that they must work hard to gain an education and earn their own money to support themselves.
We (as a family) have gone through family friends like they are going out of fashion - 'ex' friends who simply don't share the same values etc.
A few things that we don't agree with below
Children;
-Don't show enough of an interest in their children’s development.
-Let them run riot.
-Fail to discipline them
-feed them junk food instead of cooking proper meals
-Shout and scream at them constantly (including swearing at them/while talking to them)
Lifestyle;
-Have no aspirations to do anything as a family at weekends (even things that are free like walking in the woods etc)
-Sitting in front of a PC/TV screen all day when things in the house need doing
-Feel it's ok to have a filthy household
-Don't see the point in working when the state can pay for everything
-Think drug use and a 6pk of beers every night is acceptable
I could go on, but basically I class my family as a 'good family unit' with a future and children who will grow up to do well in their lives and have respect etc.
We've had so many friends through the school but never made any good family friends, don't read this and think 'you sound like a snob' far from it, I want whets best for my family and want to have friends who share that belief - but we just can't seem to find them!!
Part of the problem (I think) is that out of the 50+ children’s families in my 2 kids respective classes at school we are one of the only families who are A) Together i.e. I am with my 2 children’s mother B) We are dependent on my salary, not the next DSS payment and C) want our children to do well.
Don't get me wrong, relationships don't always work out, I get that - but we seem to be the only family still together. I must be one of the only parents who actually works a full time 'proper' job.
I understand that benefits are there for people who need them (dad has left after having a baby etc and people off work through no fault of their own, illness redundancy etc) but there are they as a safety net - not as a lifestyle choice!
All we seem to find is what I call 'dead end' people, whose life is evolved around council housing, DSS payments, daytime TV and have no wishes for their kids to go places in their lives.
Interested to hear other people’s thoughts on the above, (obviously text can be read several different ways) but as a generalisation are we that different?
Maybe it is just us - maybe I expect too much from others I don't know....
(Sorry RANT OVER)
Rob
seems you have spent plenty of time today in front of a pc screen today...just looked at your post times..
-
Wanted advert
Family friends wanted for family in Braintree, Essex (no Essex jokes please-we're from London really)
We are a 'normal' family, I work all week and enjoy spending time with my 2 children when I can. My wife works hard to ensure the kids have all they need for school etc and maintains the family home (very well).
My children have been brought up with manors, respect and loyalty - They are punished when they do wrong and are praised when they do well.
I want my kids to grow up knowing that they must work hard to gain an education and earn their own money to support themselves.
We (as a family) have gone through family friends like they are going out of fashion - 'ex' friends who simply don't share the same values etc.
A few things that we don't agree with below
Children;
-Don't show enough of an interest in their children’s development.
-Let them run riot.
-Fail to discipline them
-feed them junk food instead of cooking proper meals
-Shout and scream at them constantly (including swearing at them/while talking to them)
Lifestyle;
-Have no aspirations to do anything as a family at weekends (even things that are free like walking in the woods etc)
-Sitting in front of a PC/TV screen all day when things in the house need doing
-Feel it's ok to have a filthy household
-Don't see the point in working when the state can pay for everything
-Think drug use and a 6pk of beers every night is acceptable
I could go on, but basically I class my family as a 'good family unit' with a future and children who will grow up to do well in their lives and have respect etc.
We've had so many friends through the school but never made any good family friends, don't read this and think 'you sound like a snob' far from it, I want whets best for my family and want to have friends who share that belief - but we just can't seem to find them!!
Part of the problem (I think) is that out of the 50+ children’s families in my 2 kids respective classes at school we are one of the only families who are A) Together i.e. I am with my 2 children’s mother B) We are dependent on my salary, not the next DSS payment and C) want our children to do well.
Don't get me wrong, relationships don't always work out, I get that - but we seem to be the only family still together. I must be one of the only parents who actually works a full time 'proper' job.
I understand that benefits are there for people who need them (dad has left after having a baby etc and people off work through no fault of their own, illness redundancy etc) but there are they as a safety net - not as a lifestyle choice!
All we seem to find is what I call 'dead end' people, whose life is evolved around council housing, DSS payments, daytime TV and have no wishes for their kids to go places in their lives.
Interested to hear other people’s thoughts on the above, (obviously text can be read several different ways) but as a generalisation are we that different?
Maybe it is just us - maybe I expect too much from others I don't know....
(Sorry RANT OVER)
Rob
seems you have spent plenty of time today in front of a pc screen today...just looked at your post times..
Indeed I had - I've worked bloody hard all week, the kids had gone to their nans for the day/night so I made the most of the peace.
Cheers all the same and very observant of you. :y