Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: STMO123 on 22 February 2013, 19:46:51
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James' sniffles thread has reminded me of my dose of man flu several weeks ago. Whilst laying in my bed, close to death, I felt the urge to fart. I was unsure, given the state of my stomach, whether this would be wise, but I didn't have the strength to move from my pit.
I let it out and was quite confident that it was just gas. But, shotly afterwards, I got that warm feeling that can only mean one thing. I gently lifted the sheets and rolled on my side. To my horror, I glimpsed a skid mark about the size of a mars bar on the bed linen. 'Could have been worse' I thought.
Then I remember the memory foam matress. Not full memory foam, just on the top of a matress that you can't turn. At that point I thought 'It won't have gone through' but, of course....
So, does anyone have a good method for removing shite from memory foam?
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Come on, come on. You're a gifted lot.
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;D
Do you need to remove the shite; the memory of the shite, or the mattress's memory of the shite?
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Come on, come on. You're a gifted lot.
Dunno... I'm a grown up and don't shite the bed :P :P
But a Vax may work :-\ :-\
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;D
Do you need to remove the shite; the memory of the shite, or the mattress's memory of the shite?
Brilliant ;D ;D ;D
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think thats a new mattress type of shite dude :y
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Cloth, Soap and Water ??? you know .. old fashioned thing .. wash it off .. by hand ??
:)
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think thats a new mattress type of shite dude :y
I was afraid somone might say that.
It's only eight months old. Do you think it may be under guarantee?
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Cloth, Soap and Water ??? you know .. old fashioned thing .. wash it off .. by hand ??
:)
She said she won't do it.
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Cloth, Soap and Water ??? you know .. old fashioned thing .. wash it off .. by hand ??
:)
She said she won't do it.
You did it .. you clean it ... :)
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Cloth, Soap and Water ??? you know .. old fashioned thing .. wash it off .. by hand ??
:)
She said she won't do it.
>:(
In sickness and in health...
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Cloth, Soap and Water ??? you know .. old fashioned thing .. wash it off .. by hand ??
:)
She said she won't do it.
Whaaaat? I wouldn't like to live in your house.
You did it .. you clean it ... :)
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Cloth, Soap and Water ??? you know .. old fashioned thing .. wash it off .. by hand ??
:)
She said she won't do it.
You did it .. you clean it ... :)
Don't feed the troll! ;D :y
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;D
Do you need to remove the shite; the memory of the shite, or the mattress's memory of the shite?
;D ;D
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Hearing about your confidence failure has really helped me enjoy my tea. :y
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Hearing about your confidence failure has really helped me enjoy my tea. :y
Well.....if you want to have your tea at supper time.... ::)
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Nearly crapped myself laughing ;D ;D
The mattress return thing, Some people really have tried this in ikea after... Three months. Imagine.
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Sorry mate can't help - but thats the best laugh I've had for a while. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Thanks for sharing :y
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I'm still almost in tears laughing,but I think the vax idea may work best,shouldn't bother trying the guarantee as it's probably shit anyway ;D ;D
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Treat it like smelly bubble gum
Stick it in the freezer for a day then scrub it off with a toothbrush (not yours) ;D
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Treat it like smelly bubble gum
Stick it in the freezer for a day then scrub it off with a toothbrush (not yours) ;D
How is he going to get a shitty mattress into his Freezer....... ::) ::) ::)
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Treat it like smelly bubble gum
Stick it in the freezer for a day then scrub it off with a toothbrush (not yours) ;D
How is he going to get a shitty mattress into his Freezer....... ::) ::) ::)
Pop it round to Iceland, they can stick it in one of there freezers along with the rest of their..
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Try a pipe freeze kit from your local plumbers ;D ;D
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is it still warm or crusty i expect by now :-\
try these
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ua-pFdqQcnU
or advice on womens site :o :o
Oxi Clean has saved my life... and my fabrics! I just add a little water to make it into a paste, spread it directly onto the stain (after you've wiped away all the big chunks of course!), then throw it into the washing machine!! It's great!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9z-Mr7wWa0s
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Hmmm, this will turn Gayboy Gixer on :P
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OOF napies ...when you really want to spit your dummy out ::) ;)
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OOF napies ...when you really want to spit your dummy out ::) ;)
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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This is in the wrong section steve, there's nothing technical about a 'follow through'. Thanks for the bloody good laugh though! ;D :y
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Just put clean sheets on and forget about it! :)
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you cant just change the sheets and hope for the best a follow through is quite serious ,destroys a mans confiedence to let one go, its plays on your mind for a while
best dye the matress dark brown in case it happens again :y
panty liners could be usefull body form you will never know you have one on until its stuck to your arse :o
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you cant just change the sheets and hope for the best a follow through is quite serious ,destroys a mans confiedence to let one go, its plays on your mind for a while
best dye the matress dark brown in case it happens again :y
panty liners could be usefull body form you will never know you have one on until its stuck to your arse :o
Actually you're right and once its happened once it's bound to happen again and again. It's just your sphincter muscle weakening with age. ::)
Once you've given the mattress a damn good scrub, get one of those polythene mattress covers to protect against further accidents! :)
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Thank you lads. That's quite enough advice I think. :(
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Hmmm, this will turn Gayboy Gixer on :P
You have a filthy mind Groomer! ::)
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Think this is appropriate advice under the circumstances
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91MfdqM3gaQ (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91MfdqM3gaQ)
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or this maybe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcQflrT304g
an own goal you could say
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I enjoyed those ;D
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Change oof name from STEMO to SITBS ::)
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Change oof name from STEMO to SITBS ::)
OK :y
Errrrrrr....no.
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Sorry to hear about your problem Steve, I hope this link is useful to you, anything else I can advise you on please let me know - in the strictest confidence of course, after all I am a professional... :y :y
http://www.allaboutincontinence.co.uk/mens?gclid=CNLq-taszbUCFY3LtAod3QkAGg
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That's a good website that! :y Look at this page, full of bed protectors! Even a car seat protector, just in case you have a little accident in the car!! :)
http://www.allaboutincontinence.co.uk/bed-protection
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You can take a scouser out of Liverpool....
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That's a good website that! :y Look at this page, full of bed protectors! Even a car seat protector, just in case you have a little accident in the car!! :)
http://www.allaboutincontinence.co.uk/bed-protection
:o :o :o You been looking around the site, a closet incontinent - tell me, how do you feel about it?............. ::) ::) :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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For sale.
2.5 cdx. Seats in brown.
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hes got a vauxhall megane :D :D it was easier to nick
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You can take a scouser out of Liverpool....
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y nearly shat myself then :o :o dey downt do dat do dey
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De do dat down dare don't de yes de dooooOHYESDEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOO. ;D
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I got you PM Steve, will sort out when at work tomorrow....... :y :y :y
Is there a big 'Boots' in Wakefield?
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I got you PM Steve, will sort out when at work tomorrow....... :y :y :y
Is there a big 'Boots' in Wakefield?
This looks worrying. I hope other members of a particular persuasion not involved? :D
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Thank you for your PM, as I said, confidentiality is assured.... :y :y I won't discuss any of your business on here... :-X That does not sound good though.... :o :( :'( It's even beyond my 'pay grade' you really need to discuss further with your GP for a referral to a specialist, if I can be of any further help let me know..... :y
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Thank you for your PM, as I said, confidentiality is assured.... :y :y I won't discuss any of your business on here... :-X That does not sound good though.... :o :( :'( It's even beyond my 'pay grade' you really need to discuss further with your GP for a referral to a specialist, if I can be of any further help let me know..... :y
If it is as bad as that he could get the treatment on the "Embarassing Bodies" TV program, no one will ever know. :P ;D ;D ;D
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Thank you for your PM, as I said, confidentiality is assured.... :y :y I won't discuss any of your business on here... :-X That does not sound good though.... :o :( :'( It's even beyond my 'pay grade' you really need to discuss further with your GP for a referral to a specialist, if I can be of any further help let me know..... :y
Vamps, if you'd seen the disgraceful pics he's been sending me, well maybe you have I don't know, then I agree he needs help. A little incontinence is perhaps not surprising. :o
Get well soon Esta. :-X
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Thank you,all, for your concern. I have, however, been to see a specialist who has prescribed a medical cork.
It is inserted in the anus before going to sleep. I had to wait to have one made up as it is an unusual size.
It must not be removed before you are actually seated on the lavatory, in case of 'bum rush', and some farty noises are to be expected immediately after withdrawal. Seems to have done the trick for now but the wife insists that I sleep 'arsehole away' from her in case of the 'champagne bottle' effect.
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....in case she gets shot you mean?
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....in case she gets shot you mean?
I sure you'd have no problem imagining the implications, Chris. ::)
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This is in the wrong section steve, there's nothing technical about a 'follow through'. Thanks for the bloody good laugh though! ;D :y
Fair's fair :y it was technically a question ;D
Sounds like Vamps has got your yaris covered :o try Ambersil foaming upholstery cleaner for the matress (sold in helfrods :y)
That'll learn you for wearing nowt in bed though ;D no wonder you're always getting manflu ::)
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....in case she gets shot you mean?
I sure you'd have no problem imagining the implications, Chris. ::)
look you, don't turn this round on me. From what I've seen you'll have trouble holding "anything" in there at all. :o
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should have got a screw in type me thinks :o :o :y
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hey why not use a large light bulb wife can plug you in and use you as a bedside lamp least you will have some use in bed :-* ;D
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No good Lovelength! The poor old boy's got no power any more... :(
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he got wind power by the sounds of things :o ;D ;D
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Wind power. Hmmmmm....perhaps I should sell my output to national grid. :-\
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and the waste products to a local farmer ;) ;)
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and the waste products to a local farmer ;) ;)
I'm rich!!!!
Of course, I'll have to move abroad now. :P