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[paul.lovejoy]

You can take a scouser out of Liverpool....

  nearly shat myself then  dey downt do dat do dey

[feeutfo]

De do dat down dare don't de yes de dooooOHYESDEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOO.

[Vamps]

I got you PM Steve, will sort out when at work tomorrow.......

Is there a big 'Boots' in Wakefield?

[tidla]

I got you PM Steve, will sort out when at work tomorrow.......

Is there a big 'Boots' in Wakefield?

This looks worrying. I hope other members of a particular persuasion not involved?

[Vamps]

Thank you for your PM, as I said, confidentiality is assured....   I won't discuss any of your business on here...   That does not sound good though....   It's even beyond my 'pay grade' you really need to discuss further with your GP for a referral to a specialist, if I can be of any further help let me know.....

[Rods2]

Thank you for your PM, as I said, confidentiality is assured....   I won't discuss any of your business on here...   That does not sound good though....   It's even beyond my 'pay grade' you really need to discuss further with your GP for a referral to a specialist, if I can be of any further help let me know.....

If it is as bad as that he could get the treatment on the "Embarassing Bodies" TV program, no one will ever know. 

[feeutfo]

Thank you for your PM, as I said, confidentiality is assured....   I won't discuss any of your business on here...   That does not sound good though....   It's even beyond my 'pay grade' you really need to discuss further with your GP for a referral to a specialist, if I can be of any further help let me know.....

Vamps, if you'd seen the disgraceful pics he's been sending me, well maybe you have I don't know, then I agree he needs help. A little incontinence is perhaps not surprising.
Get well soon Esta.

[STMO123]

Thank you,all, for your concern. I have, however, been to see a specialist who has prescribed a medical cork.
It is inserted in the anus before going to sleep. I had to wait to have one made up as it is an unusual size.
It must not be removed before you are actually seated on the lavatory, in case of 'bum rush', and some farty noises are to be expected immediately after withdrawal. Seems to have done the trick for now but the wife insists that I sleep 'arsehole away' from her in case of the 'champagne bottle' effect.

[feeutfo]

....in case she gets shot you mean?

[STMO123]

....in case she gets shot you mean?

I sure you'd have no problem imagining the implications, Chris.

[05omegav6]

This is in the wrong section steve, there's nothing technical about a 'follow through'. Thanks for the bloody good laugh though!

Fair's fair it was technically a question

Sounds like Vamps has got your yaris covered try Ambersil foaming upholstery cleaner for the matress (sold in helfrods )

That'll learn you for wearing nowt in bed though no wonder you're always getting manflu

[feeutfo]

....in case she gets shot you mean?

I sure you'd have no problem imagining the implications, Chris.

look you, don't turn this round on me. From what I've seen you'll have trouble holding "anything" in there at all.

[paul.lovejoy]

should have got a screw in type me thinks

[paul.lovejoy]

hey why not use a large light bulb wife can plug you in and use you as a bedside lamp least you will have some use in bed

[Sir Tigger KC]

No good Lovelength! The poor old boy's got no power any more...