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Author Topic: here this might help you get us women.  (Read 2455 times)

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Marie

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here this might help you get us women.
« on: 28 March 2008, 21:21:15 »
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish..............................49
Adventurous.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking.................Ugly
Beautiful...........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Feminist............................Fat
Free spirit..........................Junkie
Friendship first...................Former slut
Fun..................................Annoying
Gentle..............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded.....................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet.................................Depressive
Professional.......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame.......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate................Stalker
Widow..............................Murderer

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

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Jimbob

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #1 on: 28 March 2008, 21:22:48 »
Explains a lot  ;D
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markey mark

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #2 on: 28 March 2008, 21:23:10 »
nice one and so very true !! ;D ;D ;D
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Marks DTM Calib

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #3 on: 28 March 2008, 21:24:31 »
These 5 seem familiar.

Athletic............................No boobs
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Gentle..............................Dull
Poet.................................Depressive
Romantic...........................Frigid
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Entwood

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #4 on: 28 March 2008, 21:25:03 »
So true .... its frightening ....  :)
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Jimbob

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #5 on: 28 March 2008, 21:25:04 »
Quote
These 5 seem familiar.

Athletic............................No boobs
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Gentle..............................Dull
Poet.................................Depressive
Romantic...........................Frigid

Now now!
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Marks DTM Calib

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #6 on: 28 March 2008, 21:25:36 »
Quote
Quote
These 5 seem familiar.

Athletic............................No boobs
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Gentle..............................Dull
Poet.................................Depressive
Romantic...........................Frigid

Now now!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Marie

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #7 on: 28 March 2008, 21:26:45 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
These 5 seem familiar.

Athletic............................No boobs
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Gentle..............................Dull
Poet.................................Depressive
Romantic...........................Frigid

Now now!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

so which woman are you talkin about ????????????????

plz dont be thinkin of me! :-/ :-/ :-/ :(
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HolyCount

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #8 on: 28 March 2008, 21:27:10 »
Don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing ... but at least us guys are easier to understand ... food, sleep and sex -- really simple  :y
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Marks DTM Calib

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #9 on: 28 March 2008, 21:28:25 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
These 5 seem familiar.

Athletic............................No boobs
Emotionally secure..............On medication
Gentle..............................Dull
Poet.................................Depressive
Romantic...........................Frigid

Now now!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

so which woman are you talkin about ????????????????

plz dont be thinkin of me! :-/ :-/ :-/ :(

I couldn't possibly pass comment........but fear not, as its not you.

Or are you worried because these are your characteristics  :o
« Last Edit: 28 March 2008, 21:29:46 by Mark »
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TheBoy

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #10 on: 28 March 2008, 21:29:32 »
I'm saying nothing, seeing as Mrs TheBoy is taking a keen(ish) interest is OOF  :-X

(she says as I'm always on the computer, it would be the best way to converse with me  :-[)
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Marie

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #11 on: 28 March 2008, 21:30:33 »
Quote
Don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing ... but at least us guys are easier to understand ... food, sleep and sex -- really simple  :y

I am simple.
I dont go on spending sprees for clothes.........i spend it on the car!
I dont have hundreds of pairs of shoes........i have 6 diferent types of working boots!
I dont watch soaps.........i watch DIY programs!

i think i am a bloke in a womans body! :o :o
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Marks DTM Calib

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #12 on: 28 March 2008, 21:32:04 »
Quote
Quote
Don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing ... but at least us guys are easier to understand ... food, sleep and sex -- really simple  :y

I am simple.
I dont go on spending sprees for clothes.........i spend it on the car!
I dont have hundreds of pairs of shoes........i have 6 diferent types of working boots!
I dont watch soaps.........i watch DIY programs!

i think i am a bloke in a womans body! :o :o

Did you get that on the NHS  ::) ::) :-X
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Jimbob

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #13 on: 28 March 2008, 21:33:35 »
If I am a woman in a mans body....then I must be a lesbian  ::)
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Marie

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Re: here this might help you get us women.
« Reply #14 on: 28 March 2008, 21:34:21 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
Don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing ... but at least us guys are easier to understand ... food, sleep and sex -- really simple  :y

I am simple.
I dont go on spending sprees for clothes.........i spend it on the car!
I dont have hundreds of pairs of shoes........i have 6 diferent types of working boots!
I dont watch soaps.........i watch DIY programs!

i think i am a bloke in a womans body! :o :o

Did you get that on the NHS  ::) ::) :-X

nope think i was born like it! or brought up like it. my old man always wanted a boy!

i have never done girly things always did what the lads did. the first time my hubby really saw me in a dress was out wedding day before that its normally ovies.
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