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[TheBoy]

Another thread prompted this. Only breakdowns that have required the indignity of towing home/garage, or that have caused the vehicle to stop, and not restart for ages.

Here's mine.

My own cars:
Acclaim - lost all power (racing another car ). Dried out with Fospro, restarted 15m later
Belmont - pistons and valves had a chit-chat due to Vauxhall's shitty gearboxes. New engine needed. Mate towed home.
Astra GTE - Fuel Pump relay failure. New relay.
Rover 216 - Ignitor unit. A spare fell off the production line into her pocket a few days later
Nova 1.2 - Brake caliper seized. Several buckets of water required every mile
Rover 25 - Fuel pump failure, replaced under warranty.
MV6 - crank sensor, outside Dijon, France. Car came home a few days after me
TB1 - waterpump seal. Limped home as I luckily water carrying water and oil.
TB2 - Knocked the sump plug off at speed  . MV6 towed it home.
Golden Nugget - "Something broke" after a high speed run, let go at an ABS meet. Indignity of using Tunnie's Towing Services
TBE - "TBA"

Cars that weren't mine, but I was responsible for.
Dad's Escort - hit signpost and tree. Drove home, got a thick ear
Ital van - wheel overtook me under heavy braking for a bend. Tow truck back to garage.
Ital van (different one) - engine fell out when going flat out. Towed back to garage.
Escort van - hit a lamppost, drove back to garage. Only left garage 15m earlier, after being towed in earlier for running out of fuel 
Escort van - hit a Capri. Drove back to garage.
Escort van - hit a tree. Drove back to garage.
Transit - oil filter fell off. Only been serviced 2 miles before. Tow truck.
Transit - fuel filter came undone. Only been serviced 12 miles (and 15 gallons!) before. Towtruck.

[TheBoy]

Forgot one.

Transit box/Luton type van. Hit a house. Drove home.

[tunnie]

Car:

None.

Bike:

Not really a break down, battery feked, knew it was. But thought it might have enough power to crank, turns out i didn't  . Got a jump start.

[pauls]

My list only has a couple:

Ford cortina flipped it on a roundabout (on a first date and hands not where they should have been)AA to scrap yard
Bmw 3 s drivers side front wheel fell off.AA. to garage to repair
ford granada engine seized on way to a wedding. rac lorry to wedding then AA man home again 150miles. Thanks to the groom who had his AA card with him.
bmw 5 dropped its heater matrix in the middle of acton high street I thought the car was on fire. 10 mins later pushed it to bmw to fix.

[SMD]

Only one, VW Polo, clutch cable snapped.

[TheBoy]

Oh yeah, bike....

Ate some gravel, after some old duffer decided he was going to give way to fresh air at a roundabout. Choice between hitting him or sliding past him, I took the latter.  I was given a lift home, a mate rode my bike home for me, with molegrips for a gearchange. Oh, and no clutch lever

[Webby the Bear]

Only one...

Astra 1.6 LS. Huge tree got in the way (who put that there!?) car was towed... not home but somewhere ready for scrappy 

[Del Boy]

Can't remember all of them that's ford sure but the most recent ones I can remember is:

Ford Sierra - Flat battery
Montego estate - Clutch
Rover 214 SLI - Gearbox
The same Rover 214 SLI - Clutch - 3 1/2 years old at the time 
Astra Estate - Gearbox
Combo van - fuel pump ecu
Peugeot 405 - Complete and utter engine failure
Omega - Cam sensor & a horrible misfire
Omega - Cam sensor
Audi A6 3.0 TDI - problem with the Cat
Mercedes S320 CDI - Problem with the DPF resulting in 3 MPH
Astra Van Sportive SE - Gearbox
Astra Van Sportive SE VXS - Injectors x4
BMW 730Ld - Injectors x3

[geoffr70]

Sapphire - snapped clutch cable
Cavalier - as above
Cavalier - the front wheel overtook me and landed in a farmers field
Volvo 440 - paggered
Land rover - a few kgs of Iranian shrapnel won a fight with it
Nissan pathfinder the proper one not the crappy one in Britain - got it wedged under the front of something very big and heavy after playing Colin mccrae!
Senator 24v - fell to bits, gave it to a Chilean
Senator 12v - the rotor arm destroyed itself
Volvo fl6 - snapped accelerator cable
Dennis fire engine - starter motor just about fell off, then snapped accelerator cable
Elite - dodgy battery clamp

[Jimbob]

erm none really.

Ive had the AA change a tyre for me on a very busy Dual carriageway as there was no way I could safely do it.

Thats been it.

* Jimbob hopes he is not tempting fate.

[Varche]

Mini Cooper S . Front RH suspension collapsed at 100mph Lincolnshire
Viva HC Master cyl failure. Prior to that front brake pads caught fire in Italy,replaced in Geneva.
VX Carlton cam sensor Chatelreaux
VX Omega auto gearbox Malaga
Vitara clutch Granada

[Jimbob]

erm none really.

Ive had the AA change a tyre for me on a very busy Dual carriageway as there was no way I could safely do it.

Thats been it.

* Jimbob hopes he is not tempting fate.

actually, guess the brand new cambelt kit letting go after the head rebuild qualifies...
even though the car did coast back to Mark's under its own steam...
did have to get a lift back to Chester though....

[bigboykarl]

not sure i'll remember them all
ford escort 1.3gl--thrashing down a country lane and somehow welded points together
volvo 740 gle--on m62 near hull on way back to London alternator failed towed to my dad's in Rotherham
volvo 740 gle--on m6 near birmingham going to London somehow cracked the radiator lost all the fluid and boiled the head
xr4x4--.knacked head gasket..then 2 months after repair blew up
seirra 1.8--went kaboom on the m40 between oxford and london
rover 620 ti-- major engine explosion on the m1 at ridiculous speed spreading bits of metal for 2 miles..after 1 week of ownership..dealer fitted another engine which i later found out they had sourced from a scrappy which after 2 months went bang again..was told by dealership after i made them fit a recon engine that there was a hole in a turbo pipe so was overboosting..thats how it had managed to kill 2 engines(don't know if it was dealer bolox or what)
citroen c8hdi --was only about 12 months old stopped outside a shop on a steep hill..left it in reverse with handbrake on when i returned 10 mins later i couldn't get it out of reverse...towed to garage who fitted a new clutch
saab 2.0t cabriolet --blocked oil pick up with sump sludge and knacked the engine due to oil starvation

 all i can remember apart from countless punctures

[Vamps]

Been luck I guess as I have always managed to nurse any car back home or to a garage, the only exception was in 1984 in a Ford Transit Crew Bus with about a dozen Cub Scouts in the back, threw a little end and seized solid about solid, managed to coax it in to a Pub car park. Rang a couple of parents with estate cars to come and collect the kids, I was slightly puddled by the time the Recovery truck arrived

Oh and called the AA to change a wheel and on another occasion the tyre was flat, office car park near to a tyre place so simply got them to come and take the wheel off, fix and replace.....

Like Jimbob, I too hope I have not tempted fate........

[Brikhead]

These are the ones that have stuck in my mind, there are probably more that I've forgotten about.
Roughly in chronological order...

Triumph Dolomite - It was my Mom's car and it tried to kill me by the lower ball joint letting go which caused the front wheel to become detached and lodge it's self under the sill, luckily I was only going slowly otherwise I reckon the car would of flipped.

Mk. 1 Astra - Drive shaft popped out on the M54 whilst I was on my way to work, had to pay to get the car recovered off the motorway and then pay again to get it home again. I'd only just purchased the vehicle and knew nothing about cars but decided then that I should probably start to learn!!

Mk.1 Astra, again - I managed to let the coolant water freeze in the engine block and then tried to start it, did my self a favour really as I took the opportunity to replace the cam and followers which were badly scored.

Transit Van (work) - clutch exploded on the way back from oop north, I blame Ford, fancy designing a gearbox that allows you to select reverse whilst going forward. The mechanic said it was the first time he'd ever had to scrape a clutch out of the bottom of the bellhousing.

Transit Luton (work) - just stopped, no idea why but it was a pain as I was in London and due to the van being too big for the A.A. to recover I had to wait ALL DAY for the Boss to come from Wolves to tow me back along the A5.

Alfa Romeo - I crashed it, t'was my Mates car and I was going too fast to avoid the van that pulled out in front of me then stopped to turn onto his drive.

Transit Van (work) - An accident in London where a Ginsters van rear ended me and pushed me into the car in front, resulting in all my coolant over the road...

Maestro - I had a few Montego's too (they were cheap and comfortable, in my defence) The Maestro would just stop every once in a while and no amount of fiddling with the carb or wiggling of wires would convince it to start again for at least 1/2 an hour, then it would decide to start and all would be well for the next few weeks!

Mk. 2 Astra CD - Flat battery, caused by loose earth wire to alternator, spotted it after being towed home by a Mate.

Vectra CDX - Two broken wheels after an incident involving a dislodged kerb stone.

Omega 3.0 Mv6 - snapped auxiliary belt.

Omega 2.6 Mv6 - Flat battery due to duff alternator.