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[pscocoa]

Interesting times:

Dealing with parents in Manchester (220 miles away) - mother in a home where NHS and Social are trying to discharge her - 2 visits to Manchester this week 880 miles total - 1 visit in a day and back for 3.5 hour "Multi Disciplinary Meeting"- to argue mothers case - decision pending.  NHS and SS review panels meeting next week - submitting evidence re my mother's condition.

Father in his own home - gas issues, mobility chair issues, building problems - all sorted. Local family not helping at all - not even visiting. I now have M6 Toll Tag!!! Luckily - have brilliant flexible carers and have put in place a great system where all services, shopping etc for him delivered in a 2 hour slot once a week - replacement gas heater fitted to day - water meter last week - opticians week before that - hairdresser next week. His diet is still whiskey and cigars

Mother in law in home in Truro - in a bad way - missus down there now

Both kids getting married this year - 1 in September - getting close

Son in laws car (Mondeo) acting up - pinches my Omega

Running 2 weeks of courses in Maidenhead starting Sunday.

Organising diplomatic stuff re Olympics etc for some foreign visitors.

All sorts of work stuff.

This is character forming and you younger lot out there may not realise just what is ahead of you!!!

Can you keep all your balls in the air??

[Del Boy]

If I had all of that to sort out, I would've 100% exploded by now. I don't find stress the easiest thing to deal with.

[aaronjb]

Ditto to what Del said.. I couldn't cope with even half of that. I suppose 'fortunately' there's only two parents to keep an eye on for me, as there's no other half and associated family.. but unfortunately being an only child that's all going to be on me to sort out

[Rods2]

Sorry to hear about all your problems, I'm glad you are managing to keep on top of them.

I get stressed very easily, but seem to be able to cope with it.

Exercise is a great stress buster.

[pscocoa]

Add to that how to avoid social services getting the house - splitting the ownership of the house - changing the wills, setting up lasting powers of attorney, dealing with the banks.

A high street bank has just sent me an apology and a case of wine for messing up the new account arrangments for my parents - as I explained to them - I am lucky to be able to fund all my parents costs - carers, shopping, bills etc out of my own pocket to make up for bank incompetence - but supposing I could not have done that? I made exactly this point to them - the training on 3rd party bank mandate procedure was woefully lacking.

Thing is I never got angry

[Rods2]

IMHO the best way to win a dispute or sort out bad customer service is to stay calm, assertive and keep to the point. 

As soon as you get angry, you are well on the way to not getting the result you want. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Elderly parents can be a real worry.

My father died in December 2011 from cancer, and even though I have three other siblings I had to sort out the funeral alone. I live 200 miles away, my older brother lives a mere 50 miles away.

So much to sort out. Which service .....which hymns.....which flowers.....which coffin......one funeral car or two....do I say a few words at the service....... the list is endless.  Then I needed to sort out my ninety year old mother's pension......council tax......pension credit ......attendance allowance.....banks accounts.......again the list is endless. Shit.

Then in March 2012 My mother suffered a stroke. Here we go again. A two hundred mile trip to Hereford County hospital at 3 a.m. She was in two hospitals over the next six weeks and I drove the old Omega literally thousands of miles visiting her before she returned home some six weeks later. Now I'm sorting out her carers (4 a day) her doctors....her therapists. Again the list is endless.

Some siblings help more than others. Some are a f**king waste of space.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Ditto to what Del said.. I couldn't cope with even half of that. I suppose 'fortunately' there's only two parents to keep an eye on for me, as there's no other half and associated family.. but unfortunately being an only child that's all going to be on me to sort out

Unless you drop off the perch first, Aaron. It's not uncommon for parents to outlive their children.

[TheBoy]

our parents are not with us for long enough, so even when mum is being daft, I try to remember that 


As for stress...  ...I struggle to comprehend the subject, as clearly I've never suffered it (despite failing a stress test really badly )

[aaronjb]

Ditto to what Del said.. I couldn't cope with even half of that. I suppose 'fortunately' there's only two parents to keep an eye on for me, as there's no other half and associated family.. but unfortunately being an only child that's all going to be on me to sort out

Unless you drop off the perch first, Aaron. It's not uncommon for parents to outlive their children.

That is true .. and as anyone who has met me could tell you, probably quite likely in my case!

[Dishevelled Den]

The OP may not suffer from stress but Francis probably does - some advice for those in the membership who could be categorized as being 'shrinking violets', don't click the pretty picture.

<US cheerleader chant on>


Go Francis, go Francis, go Francis………….


<off>

[pscocoa]

hmm - someone out there is really trying to test me-

The 3.5 hour meeting with NHS and social Services paid off as 2 days ago I got my mother placed in the home she wanted to be in at the cost of the state - £637 per week (there will be a financial assessment later).

So we are making progress - then my father's sister who lives alone, falls and breaks her hip so she is now in hospital and it all starts again!!!

Having done 5 days of delivering courses away from home - I get back to attend a meeting with a local MEP and on way there on Friday night the police ring - my father has phoned them because his carer is late and he wants his tea!!!

Police go to house and arrive at same time as carer - she had told him she would be late and he had forgotten.

Yesterday I again went to Manchester and back (got back in 2.5 hours) to see Aunt, help my mother sign contracts with NHS, Local Council and Meridian Carehomes and make sure my dad is ok.
Sort out bills, arrange for stairlift company to do survey on my aunt's house and set up large number mobile phone for my mum.

As mum is now permanently placed there is no need for Sky - what a performance that was to cancel where they would not accept my dad just saying over phone that I was authorised to cancel - they went through the charade of asking him questions which he could not hear but to which I told him what to say and he just kept saying "I want to cancel" to all the stupid questions - why do you want to leave us etc when I had explained he is 91!!!

In 30 minutes I am away again on business for 3 days

This is definitely not for the faint hearted

[jonnycool]

Well done for keeping your head, not easy times - things can only get better, surely 

[paul.lovejoy]

blimey think i would have popped quite a few fuses by now i would have to go have a sit down with my fish a cigar and a glass of something and watch my fish swim and swim and swim

I do hope things improve for everyone

[pscocoa]

It is not getting better - yesterday get call from nursing home that "someone has stood on my mother's false teeth and broken them!!!" - I laughed out loud which was not the right reaction - now trying to sort out dentist - she has a spare set somewhere at home.

6.30am this morning mother in law has taken turn for worse and is now on morphine drip so I am now down in Cornwall - they do not expect her to last long now - this will be a merciful release when it happens i can tell you.

My mother now has an appointment in Wrightington (Wigan) for hip surgery pre op on Monday 2nd and I have a board meeting in London on 3rd. Back to Manchester on 5th to sort out Powers of Attorney and stair lift for Aunt may be fitted in Glossop on 6th and I am next of kin OR there may be a funeral down here in Truro on that day. Then to Brussels following week.

I can deal with it but the sequence and rapidity of events is just incredible.