I'm a regular poster on here, but set up a new account to ask this question anonymously, cos I
don't know where else to turn

Obviously the admins will have access to my real details, but I would be very grateful if they could
respect my privacy
I need some objective opinions but please be aware that I'm definitely NOT objective in my
description of the situation
I am in a long term "friends with benefits" relationship with a women I have known for over 20 years.
Let's call her "tiger lily"
We tried a full time relationship, and it didn't work for us, but we really are VERY good friends, and I am
very much in love with her.
She is a (young) widow with a very good "death in (uniformed) service" pension and two school-age
kids (3 y/o girl and 12 y/o boy)
She has recently started a steady relationship with an older man who *seems* to be a decent bloke,
he has moved in with her "temporarily" whilst refurbishing a new house he has bought (he's just moved to area
after the breakdown of his marriage - he has two adult sons).
He has become a father figure to the children, especially the son who is badly missing his dad.
The problem I have boils down to one thing - I visited the other day and b/f was *in* the bath with
the baby girl.
Might be innocent, but...
TigerLily trusts me completely, and if I voice my concerns it will DEFINITELY damage her relationship with
her b/f, but might also spoil our friendship.
If I don't voice my concerns, and it turns out to be something sinister, then that will be MUCH worse.
She's tried to discuss her relationship with b/f with me - I always tell her my opinion , with the caveat "I'm biased".
because I am.
ask for any further info, but
PLEASE HELP.