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[the alarming man]

I've just returned from a visit to my local health centre. Apparently, all men over the age of forty should have an annual check up to ascertain if they're about to drop off the perch.

Subsequent to a blood test some seven days ago, the results of the test were mixed.


Good points. My liver and kidney function tests have come back fine. I'm pleasantly surprised by this.

Bad points. My blood pressure is too high, and I've been asked to take "home readings" for the next month. No medication is currently required.

My cholesterol level is slightly raised at 5.8. You know the story.....cut down on the saturated fats, cakes and biscuits, that sort of thing. 

I'm overweight. According to the pretty  nurse, Six-one and 14st 11lb means I need to lose at least a stone, preferably two. I should add that at no point during the examination, did the said nurse refer to me as a fat bastard.

When all these figures have been collated (presumably in some advanced super computer )......it turns out I have a 10.3% chance of stroke or heart attack in the next ten years.

I can live with that.

every 5 years here

[waspy]

6'1" & 14 stone. I wouldn't say you're over weight. I'm 5'8" & 13 stone & certainly not over weight.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

6'1" & 14 stone. I wouldn't say you're over weight. I'm 5'8" & 13 stone & certainly not over weight.

I agree, Pete. I'm sure Henry Cooper only weighed about 13 stones......and he fought as a heavyweight.

[cem_devecioglu]

I've just returned from a visit to my local health centre. Apparently, all men over the age of forty should have an annual check up, to ascertain if they're about to drop off the perch.

Subsequent to a blood test some seven days ago, the results of the test were mixed.


Good points. My liver and kidney function tests have come back fine. I'm pleasantly surprised by this.

Bad points. My blood pressure is too high, and I've been asked to take "home readings" for the next month. No medication is currently required.

My cholesterol level is slightly raised at 5.8. You know the story.....cut down on the saturated fats, cakes and biscuits, that sort of thing. 

I'm overweight. According to the pretty  nurse, Six-one and 14st 11lb means I need to lose at least a stone, preferably two. I should add that at no point during the examination, did the said nurse refer to me as a fat bastard.

When all these figures have been collated (presumably in some advanced super computer )......it turns out I have a 10.3% chance of stroke or heart attack in the next ten years.

I can live with that.

this 2 is the most critical Opti..if they are fine nothing to worry..
 
if you can walk daily , it will help to drop your blood pressure also..

[ozzycat]

I am quite heavy for my height but my dick weighs over a stone.

  whats that steve 1/4 to dust type of stone

[TheBoy]

Did someone mention pies?

[Gaffers]

FFS!  I hate these namby-pamby rather medics who put everyone in the same box.  Was your blood pressure high compared to last time?  Are there stairs leading up to the surgery?  Are you a little under the weather? etc.....  All these can explain a single instance where your pressure was high.  What can be normal for one can be abnormal for another.  If there is a significant increase in a short space of time then get it checked out.

Weight.  Another favourite of mine.  They should do a body stat instead of that BMI 'dangle berries'.  Body stat will tell you your fat%, water retention, muscle mass, etc.  I hate it when you get told that you should lose weight by a fat ugly nurse with an arse so big it needs a police escort and Wide Load sign when it gets driven down the motorway.  The medics in my place know not to say that shite to me, if they do the hulk comes out.  I have got my body fat down to less than 15% which is pretty healthy even though I am still 17.5 stone.  That normally shuts the holier than thou pricks up....

Useless community health winkers!

(oh, and yes... I had a bad day.....thanks to a fat nurse.......)

[Nickbat]

My cholesterol is 4.2.

The quack said it's not bad, but she would like to see it lower!! (I weigh 10.5 stone, btw)

I am also on bp tablets, but have lowered it by eating fresh celery and two squares of dark chocolate a day. the quack said I should not eat it every day...due to the fat content.

The only thing that concerns me is a bit of glucose intolerance. the quack stressed that I am not diabetic, but should act as if i was to ensure I never became so. I have just stopped all additional sugar intake (in tea and on cereal), I avoid sweets and desserts, walk three to four miles a day (in wellies) and have ground cinnamon on my porridge for breakfast!

I actually feel pretty fit. 

It's only when I get an appointment to go to the GP hell-hole that I start to feel a bit iffy.     

 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

FFS!  I hate these namby-pamby rather medics who put everyone in the same box.  Was your blood pressure high compared to last time?  Are there stairs leading up to the surgery?  Are you a little under the weather? etc.....  All these can explain a single instance where your pressure was high.  What can be normal for one can be abnormal for another.  If there is a significant increase in a short space of time then get it checked out.

Weight.  Another favourite of mine.  They should do a body stat instead of that BMI 'dangle berries'.  Body stat will tell you your fat%, water retention, muscle mass, etc. I hate it when you get told that you should lose weight by a fat ugly nurse with an arse so big it needs a police escort and Wide Load sign when it gets driven down the motorway.  The medics in my place know not to say that shite to me, if they do the hulk comes out.  I have got my body fat down to less than 15% which is pretty healthy even though I am still 17.5 stone.  That normally shuts the holier than thou pricks up....

Useless community health winkers!

(oh, and yes... I had a bad day.....thanks to a fat nurse.......)

I totally agree, Guffer. However, the nurse in question had a nice tight arse and a great pair of tits.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

My cholesterol is 4.2.

The quack said it's not bad, but she would like to see it lower!! (I weigh 10.5 stone, btw)

I am also on bp tablets, but have lowered it by eating fresh celery and two squares of dark chocolate a day. the quack said I should not eat it every day...due to the fat content.

The only thing that concerns me is a bit of glucose intolerance. the quack stressed that I am not diabetic, but should act as if i was to ensure I never became so. I have just stopped all additional sugar intake (in tea and on cereal), I avoid sweets and desserts, walk three to four miles a day (in wellies) and have ground cinnamon on my porridge for breakfast!

I actually feel pretty fit. 

It's only when I get an appointment to go to the GP hell-hole that I start to feel a bit iffy. 

That's excellent for your age, Nick.

[feeutfo]

FFS!  I hate these namby-pamby rather medics who put everyone in the same box.  Was your blood pressure high compared to last time?  Are there stairs leading up to the surgery?  Are you a little under the weather? etc.....  All these can explain a single instance where your pressure was high.  What can be normal for one can be abnormal for another.  If there is a significant increase in a short space of time then get it checked out.

Weight.  Another favourite of mine.  They should do a body stat instead of that BMI 'dangle berries'.  Body stat will tell you your fat%, water retention, muscle mass, etc. I hate it when you get told that you should lose weight by a fat ugly nurse with an arse so big it needs a police escort and Wide Load sign when it gets driven down the motorway.  The medics in my place know not to say that shite to me, if they do the hulk comes out.  I have got my body fat down to less than 15% which is pretty healthy even though I am still 17.5 stone.  That normally shuts the holier than thou pricks up....

Useless community health winkers!

(oh, and yes... I had a bad day.....thanks to a fat nurse.......)

I totally agree, Guffer. However, the nurse in question had a nice tight arse and a great pair of tits.

fe@k me i'm operating via satellite today.

[Turk]

I am quite heavy for my height but my dick weighs over a stone.

My stones weigh under a dick ! 

[Nickbat]

My cholesterol is 4.2.

The quack said it's not bad, but she would like to see it lower!! (I weigh 10.5 stone, btw)

I am also on bp tablets, but have lowered it by eating fresh celery and two squares of dark chocolate a day. the quack said I should not eat it every day...due to the fat content.

The only thing that concerns me is a bit of glucose intolerance. the quack stressed that I am not diabetic, but should act as if i was to ensure I never became so. I have just stopped all additional sugar intake (in tea and on cereal), I avoid sweets and desserts, walk three to four miles a day (in wellies) and have ground cinnamon on my porridge for breakfast!

I actually feel pretty fit. 

It's only when I get an appointment to go to the GP hell-hole that I start to feel a bit iffy. 

That's excellent for your age, Nick.

That's right, Opti. But I need to keep it low for when I hit my thirties! 

[Vamps]

Sounds like the forum is full of fat bastwards........I could give Tunnie a run for his money and I am double his age and sum.......never got my weight back up after serious illness, Massive Big C 10 years ago..... That said, I am 10 years older than expected, and still working full time, and enjoying a less, but never the less, quality of life, thanks to the NHS.......

[Kevin Wood]

I totally agree, Guffer. However, the nurse in question had a nice tight arse and a great pair of tits.

Yeah, so did mine. Only because she'd used tyre levers to get it into her uniform.