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[Terbs]

Hi all
My mother has been diagnosed with altzheimers. We had tests done last year, and she had brain scans for other brain diagnosis, which were negative, therefore it was concluded it was altzheimers.
Mother is 92 years old in May. She is mobile, can go shopping with swmbo when she feels up to it. She feeds herself, although only uses the microwave. I had a proper shower put in for her, which she uses, or did.
However, she is paranoid about people going in her flat, says they fiddle with the TV, freezer, washing machine etc. She thinks they come in and watch telly when she is in bed. Reckons young couple upstairs keep asking her to look after their young kiddie. Saturday, we went round, and she said that she had taken the wire down that was up the wall in the corner (FM aerial on her Hi Fi) When I looked I found all the wires at the back had been cut with scissors. She denied it, but in later conversation, she mentioned it went 'bang'. This confirmed cutting through live mains wires.
The latest topic is Christmas. 'I don't want to be here on my own.....upstairs make my life a misery, can't I go somewhere'
Result !!!! Er..no......in the next statement, its too late to move at her age,  they don't want people with my problems (female internal, etc) I've seen those homes, they are disgusting, etc etc. I may as well stay here, upstairs are ok.
Absolutely paranoid also about money..... doesn't want my inheritance to go to home. Obviously, although I have POA, I can't shift her money because Social Services will check accounts for 'anomilies'.
I know some of you have been through this situation....is it best to just put mother in a home, end of. Or is it worth trying like a respite couple of weeks, hoping she will say, she likes it. We have told her she will have people around 24/7 to look after her/company. Seems to go down ok.....then a bit later the phone rings and its...'You are trying to put me away, I'm not mad, I AM NOT MOVING'...and phone goes down.
Its getting to us now.....we also have Christine's mum to look out for, she is 92 also. You probably read my thread about her fall and having money pinched. As her sight deteriated after the fall, she just gave up and wanted to die. However, there is light at the end of that tunnel, as we got her in for an eye op and she can see fairly well again, and has taken an interest in life, so things could be getting better on that front.
Been on to Bucks Social Services, they refered us back to GP....what next.
Can anyone tell us what procedures we will have to through. Whenever we try to make some enquiries we get passed from pillar to post

Sorry if this is a morbid post

[Varche]

You have my sympathies. Not an easy situation to deal with and sadly one which will become more and more prevalent as people live longer and succumb to this.

One thing I would say is that there are some classic signs of   Paranoid Schizophrenia. (definition etc http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/192621.php) We have an uncle who is perfectly able to look after himself but is convinced for example that people are getting into his loft and even living there. Her GP can prescribe to treat that. What is then needed is to monitor the individual to ensure no worsening of condition.

A classic example of why care in the community is so important.

[albitz]

Is she on any medication.My Dad was in a similar state (hes 82) a few months ago.He was on Diazapam.Over 75,s should never be prescribed these,but they are to keep them quiet etc. Got him off them and hes sharp as a tack again now.
The difference is staggering tbh.

[Kevin Wood]

Yep, Emma's grandmother also had a bad turn about 9 months ago. Turns out she had been prescribed a drug which interacted badly with the Lithium she had been on for many years, and resulted in Lithium poisoning. Took a while for the doctor (who presumably prescribed both ) to figure it out.

However, if it's not something that's treatable and she's cutting through mains cables, it does tend to make me wonder if she's past the point of being able to safely look after herself already.

I do sympathise, Tony. It must be an awful situation to be in.

[cleggy]

You have my sympathies it is a very difficult and worrying time. We has a similiar situation with the mother in law, the final outcome was her falling on one of her wanderings, breaking a hip, and moving into a care home following assessment. We didn't know what to do for the best or who to turn to. Luckily I was in the local shop when the owner asked "How we were getting on with all the trips to hospital etc" A lady overheard the conversation and introduced herself as from the Altzeimers Society, gave me her card and said to call for help if we needed it.

Picking up the phone was the best thing we did, everything was explained in a sympathetic but realistic manner. It made best out of a bad situation in our case how to use Social Service, how to get the correct help, what buttons to push etc. In the end she was admitted to a nice local care home who looked after her for about a year until she passed away. In fact I still visit the care home with home grown fruit from the garden and chat to the residents.

Every case is different so to offer advice might not be apppropriate in your mums case, which was applicable in our case.

I would certainly recommend the Altzeimers Society for advice and assistance.

I hope everything goes well for you all.

[Sir Tigger KC]

I have no advice to give as I've no experience of this, but you have my sympathies and I hope everything works out for the best! 

[Lazydocker]

Unfortunately it sounds like she is just starting down the slippery (and quite distressing) slope

The best thing you can do for her is to seek advice from the GP and Altzheimers Society. She needs to be moved into proper care for her own (and others) safety and your sanity

[Terbs]

Thanks for those replies.....at last a direction to head in.

Will definately call Altzeimers Society, it sounds as our problems may take a turn for the better.

I am in your debt.....(don't ask for money though, I'm skint)

[cleggy]

Thanks for those replies.....at last a direction to head in.

Will definately call Altzeimers Society, it sounds as our problems may take a turn for the better.

I am in your debt.....(don't ask for money though, I'm skint)

They have a good WEB site as a starting point

http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

[YZ250]

Sadly I do know how you feel Tony. My wifes Mum had Altzheimers/Dementia at the latter part of her life. As she was also disabled, she could not harm herself in the way that your Mum possibly can, as she was confined to her chair. As someone who had done care work herself she knew what was happening to her and we used to go in and find her crying. She had carers go in to see her in her bungalow and my wife used to go in morning, noon and night to sort out her food and medication and make sure she was generally alright. She became very upset at not remembering who people were and I had to introduce myself on a daily basis to someone who had known me for over thirty years.
It does not become part of your life, it BECOMES your life. I won't bore you any more as many of you will know what I mean.

I feel for you mate, I really do.

Regards
Alan

[omega3000]

I have no advice to give as I've no experience of this, but you have my sympathies and I hope everything works out for the best! 

+1 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

My ninety-one year old mother had a stroke last year. I now have total control of her finances.She gets very confused by money and often refers to the old £.s.d money.

I have to pay all her bills as it would distress her should she try to do it herself.

You may find it helps to have control of your mothers finances.

Good luck.

[Terbs]

We have had POA on mums accounts for a long time now Opti

Alan....mum is heading that way fast now....she remembers me and Chris ok, but now her closest sister's name usually comes after a jog from us. She sometimes remembers my sister in law, but as to all the other relations, its a no go. Its so sad that we humans are subjected to this disease. I don't know about you others, but I feel quite sick sometimes thinking as mum has it, will I get it. And she doesn't remember my children without a prompt.

What annoys me is I have to ask questions on a car forum to get answers, I get humanitarian answers, links to groups, and sympathy (not looking for that, but thanks )......Why couldn't the 'powers that be' give me these answers.
We tried to sort out whether mum could have any carers and gave up after an absolute 'we are not interested' attitude from same bodies. Interested only in physical not mental state.
 We are 'supposed to be getting a phone call tomorrow from our/her GP, after spending god knows how long trying to get past the receptionist
Tony

[dbug]

My mum is 90 and recently ended up in hospital suffering a mini stroke.  Fortunately she wasn't affected physically by this.  She went into a very good respite home for 6 weeks and was then released home where she lives on her own.  She was very confused and suffering from short term memory loss (memories going back many years were fine).

One of the drugs she was on was simvastatin - well known for promoting short memory loss and confusion and not recommended for over 75s!  A meeting with her GP and my insistance re simvastatin got her medication changed to another statin (without these side effects)  She is now much better with her short term memory and not confused now - it took 2 months for the effects to wear off!

Moral is check side effects of all drugs and be bullish with GPs if you are unhappy with any prescription drugs.

HTH

[Terbs]

After diagnosis, the psychiatrist dished out some pills to mum. This resulted in a middle of the night call from Age Concern to say mums alarm had gone off, and she was in a confused state. When I got round there, the flat was trashed, just as though being burgled. Sorted her out eventually and got her to bed ok. Contacted the psychiatrist again and panic set in.....don't let her take any of those pills again, how many doses has she had, keep us informed of her health, etc, etc
We were not told of any possible side effects, actually the opposite. Since stopping the pills, we have had no re-occurance of this problem