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[Jusme]

I suppose I will be informed that the following is soooooo old. But I found it amusing and with more than a hint of truth..

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.
...
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also;
Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!

[ozzycat]

  yep ill sign it

[Bionic]

   Hmmmm. All good ideas apart from the alcohol and tabacco one both of which are causing so many problems to the health and disorderly conduct/violence situations that are becoming more regular. Another addition would definitely be that ALL aid to those countries who constantly put out their begging mats year after year are refused aid until they start to control their populations and actually try to support themselves! What is the point of giving millions/billions in loans to the same countries when it is recognised that the loans (yes there is more than one country involved in this scam) will be written off because they usually come up with the excuse 'cannot afford to pay it' after the leader has bought a new palace or two and the obligitory new luxury jet and car fleet, then an army, then worldwide visits as a 'dignitary' etc. The mind boggles ! Seems to me that very little if any at all goes to the 'people' in the volubly proclaimed by various charities 'desperate need'. Its our taxes money after all is it not? There should be a referendum vote before any of our hard earned tax money is sent to them by those who seek to 'look good' to the international press!
Why does not the rest of the worlds richer countries not step in and supply as much as this small country of ours constantly does? Are we really that easy to fool into parting with our riches? Riches you wonder? The word was used as a simple descriptor - not as a fact! How can we afford to send so much abroad to the beggars when we as a country owes so much in loan repayments itself? Where is the logic in it??

[Abiton]

If you think there's a way of giving 10 million people £1 million pounds each your maths is rather shaky.

Current National debt would increase by a large factor

[PhilRich]

yep ill sign it

Not only will I sign it! I will bloody deliver it!

[omega3000]

Everyone print it and send it . Jusme for MP 

[Rog]

Dear Oofers,

Thank you for your letter.

I have discussed these proposals with my colleague Mr Osborne, and see some merit in them. Some of the proposals will take time to impliment, however others can be carried forward expeditiously. If those members who meet the criteria of being over 50 and in employment send their bank account details to Mr Osborne, then he will arrange a bank transfer within the next few days.

Yours sincerely

Dave

No 10
Youknowhere

[ozzycat]

Dear Oofers,

Thank you for your letter.

I have discussed these proposals with my colleague Mr Osborne, and see some merit in them. Some of the proposals will take time to impliment, however others can be carried forward expeditiously. If those members who meet the criteria of being over 50 and in employment send their bank account details to Mr Osborne, then he will arrange a bank transfer within the next few days.

Yours sincerely

Dave

No 10
Youknowhere

yes in your dreams would be nice though 

[Jusme]

Seems to me that very little if any at all goes to the 'people' in the volubly proclaimed by various charities 'desperate need'.This got me thinking about a programme I saw many years ago, has it changed ? If I remember rightly, only 10p in every pound collected by Oxfam reached its intended destination ?? 

[albitz]

I would be surprised if it was as much as that tbh.

[bigegg]

Seems to me that very little if any at all goes to the 'people' in the volubly proclaimed by various charities 'desperate need'.This got me thinking about a programme I saw many years ago, has it changed ? If I remember rightly, only 10p in every pound collected by Oxfam reached its intended destination ?? 

A couple of years ago, when I still had my bookshop, I used to collect a lot of surplus donations of books from oxfam, in return for a "donation".
Because of the large "donations" I made - approximately 15,000 per year - I was sent a copy of the "accounts" (which have to be published by law).
68% was spent on "administration" in this country, around 25% on "overseas administration" (ie, brits working in africa etc), with the remaining 7% being spent on "aid" (food and building materials etc).
BHF uses around 53% of it's income on "administration" (which includes rent of shops etc), with the balance being used for donated purposes.