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[Terbs]

Wife for sale....44 years experience, good cook, technical disaster. Buyer collects

We are decorating, and as we are semi open plan, the dining room, lounge and staircase come as one. I finished emulsioning the lounge a couple of hours ago, and am now on ladder work up the staircase. Wifey shouts up, "Can I put the furniture back"......"Yes, but mind the walls."
Fifteen minutes later, voice bellows up the stairs..."TONY....the new electric fire isn't working"
Blast.....starts down the ladder .....then as an afterthought...."Have you plugged it in"
"Errrr....no"

Not a lot else to be said really !!!!!!!!!!

[ozzycat]

i know the feeling  ouch

[doz]

My wife comes in and says "the electric fence has stopped working and the horse got out you need to fix it" Me "have you turned the switch on?" "Oh that would help" says wife.

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Women, bless them. We love them but they should never be given any complicated tasks.

[cam2502]

I was watching the remake of King Kong couple of weeks back.... In she strolls, glances at the telly and says..." oh is that Hong Kong ?"
I give up

[omega3000]

 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Sense of direction neuron is too large, Mr EMD.

[Terbs]

Sense of direction neuron is too large, Mr EMD.

I second that

[cleggy]

Tony, put Chris in with your mum for a couple on nights

[paul.lovejoy]

we live near a shopping centre and they are building right across the road from iot now as we drive past the other day wifey says thats going to be the new park and ride to the shopping centre

but dear why would they build a park and ride right oppersite the shopping centre

becuase its closer

but dear i thought the whole obeject of a park and ride is to reduce the traffic and stop the congestion around here

yes i know that ffs you talk to me like i am bloody stupid

couple of mins later oh yes is a bit close

yes dear they would only need to build a bridge across the road and they would not have to buy any coaches

Doggy did not say a word well he wouldnt hes a dog ffs do you think we are both stupid

[SIR Philbutt]

Tooo tooo many to tell you all about with swmbo and three girls women in this house had many a good laugh at them

but for example last night -

youngest (21) applying for a job and needs to know how tall she is
Swmbo stands her against the door, puts finger where top of head is
then tries to hold tape measure where finger is and extend tape to floor
struggles and struggles while daughter is stood watching - eventually gets her to read the tape 71 inches
Goes to enter onto computer - muuuuuum ! it has to be in meter's
so the do it all again 

I have told them that in future if they are doing anything more complicated than folding a piece of paper to let me know so I can get the camera out. Make a fortune on YBF and YouTube

may I add that not all of the female gender are the same especially if they like miggy's 

[bigegg]

may I add that not all of the female gender are the same especially if they like miggy's 

coward 

[dazzerM]

I would offer mine up but with scrap values being where they are not worth it 

I hope she never reads that, I am such a coward 

[SIR Philbutt]

may I add that not all of the female gender are the same especially if they like miggy's 

coward 

no i'm wise 

[Terbs]

What are you all....men or mice

Chris's favourite statement when out driving is...."Oh, I could have got out then".  Cautious does not come into it
Got so bad, when the kid's lived here, we would go out for a ride with Chris driving, get to a certain junction, and if the road was clear Chris would proceed.........then one of the kid's would pipe up......"Blimey mum, you took a chance there. There was a car at Penn Pond"  (about a mile away)