knew a mate who ran a pub in knyodart ( scotland) it was on a penisula all there was was a pub a couple of houses further up in the hills and some pop stars mansion a couple of miles down the road. You had to park the car up at mallaig and get a boat to knoydart. i travelled through the night so finally got to the pub mid morning

was a bit dead in the bar

mate said it livens up in the evening ( mate was female by the way, why do you think i went all the way up there for

) Amazing place anyway evening came it was heaving with big scotish fisherman, got me completely trousered on all sorts as we drank the beer dry we had to go top shelf ffs i was steaming, next thing found my self chugging across this loch or whatever it was but theres was about 10 of us in this bloddy small boat in pitch black heading for i dont know what.
mind was wondering what , where , how when just faintley could see a light

thank f@@ck i hope its land, was an army camp

boys thought they would go clubbing

there were girlies there well they were girlies once

remneber being in a tent apparently they make booze from boiling sweeties of something, anyway obviously what we had been drinking left us in a worse state for wear than the soldier boys who were getting a bit angry that we were trying to pull the only things close to women for miles around so we left ( under armed gaurd) .
Oh dear back to complete darkeness in this little boat chugging along and we just stopped, in the middle of no where, was like a floating fishery just like a platorm i guess with nets around, after the obligutary who could piss the furthest competition the boat had gone leaving me stuck on this bloody pontoon thingy.
Cant remember a thing after that until i woke up in a bed in the pub with the worst hang over ever.
Apparently they left me but i was to drunk to care and went to sleep where they found me when they came back for me a while later

bastweards got me rat arsed the next night too but did not go clubbing with them,

never did get any hanky panky was either drunk or hungover
