Oh well, my little boy is 18 next week, growing up bloody too fast and is starting to take after me according to the missus

Last week, she was hoovering his bedroom out when she found a box under his bed containing a collection of w*n* mags
The look on his face was a picture when I told him what she had found and has been rather sheepish ever since

Sunday night, he went to a mates 18th birthday party complete with a bottle in his hand so me and the missus nipped into town for a wetherspoons burger deal and a few pints.
Got home about 9 o'clock and sat down to watch Homeland in peace for a change.
Well ten minutes pass and the phone rings ................ answers the phone to hear its the birthday boys dad on the phone

It turns out that my little angel has got himself totally rat arsed and while chatting up his mates sister who I must say is 17, and absolutely drop dead gorgeous ............... he gives it the good old 5 finger spread all over her nice pink dress (I know I shouldn't laugh but

)
She screams ............. he staggers up the stairs to the toilet where he is found 5 minutes later with his jeans and boxers round his ankles and his head in the bowl while talking to god on the great white telephone

I've been told by one of his mates that pictures will be available shortly
So ..................... he is out of it ..................... I've had a drink so driving is out of the question and the dad is saying, come and get him out of here ...... NOW

Lucky, a very good mate of mine who lives around the corner agrees to take me around there.
Walked round the back to see him sat in a patio chair with his head over a railing and he is out for the count.
The poor girl was still in tears but the dad was okay about it so we dragged him up and out to the waiting car, I jumped in the back and we strapped him to the front seat and drove slowly home.
Dragged him home and sat him in the corner of the sofa with his head in a bucket and watched him for the next 2 hours until he started to come around.
By 12:30am , he was semi conscious so I dragged him out the house wearing just his jeans, t shirt and shoes and we went for a walk in the rain for a good 30 minutes to wake him up

Got back sometime after 1am with him alive but not feeling very clever

Spent most of the night in and out of his bedroom to make sure he was okay then woke him up at 6:30 for collage

He wasn't amused

Just waiting for the pictures and a bill for a new dress now

I know it won't be me who's paying
