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Author Topic: joke  (Read 1961 times)

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maria

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joke
« on: 10 July 2008, 17:26:33 »

A young women is at the dotor's for a check-up,

By the way, my boyfriend has dandruff she adds after her

consultation, is there anything i can do to help him?

Give him head & shoulders the doctor suggests,

She pauses briefly, then askes,

how do you give shoulders?




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HolyCount

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Re: joke
« Reply #1 on: 10 July 2008, 17:28:42 »
It's the bloke that gives the shoulders as well ---- with a safety rope around one ankle .... just in case  ;)
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maria

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Re: joke
« Reply #2 on: 10 July 2008, 17:31:26 »
Three women are talking about their ideal men,

Mine's 6ft tall with a dragon on his arm the first explains

Mines 6ft with two dragons on his arm the second adds

I dont care how tall mine is the third says as long as his drags on the ground....

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Re: joke
« Reply #3 on: 10 July 2008, 17:32:59 »
Maria!


 ;D ;D ;D ;D
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maria

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Re: joke
« Reply #4 on: 10 July 2008, 17:34:52 »

Q What do viagra and theme parks have in common?



















A They both make you stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride ;D ;D ;D
« Last Edit: 10 July 2008, 17:36:46 by Maria »
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: joke
« Reply #5 on: 10 July 2008, 17:36:31 »
Crackers, all 3 of em.  Keep em coming.  lol.   ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y
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HolyCount

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Re: joke
« Reply #6 on: 10 July 2008, 17:39:19 »
Quote
Q What do viagra and theme parks have in common?

A They both make you stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride ;D ;D ;D

TWO MINUTES ????
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maria

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Re: joke
« Reply #7 on: 10 July 2008, 17:39:45 »
Q Why do men ask woman for their hand in marriage?






































A Because they're fed up using the own
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: joke
« Reply #8 on: 10 July 2008, 17:40:26 »
Quote
Quote
Q What do viagra and theme parks have in common?

A They both make you stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride ;D ;D ;D

TWO MINUTES ????

Do you take less time before you put the kettle on?   ;D ;D ;D ;D
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maria

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Re: joke
« Reply #9 on: 10 July 2008, 17:41:43 »
Quote
Quote
Quote
Q What do viagra and theme parks have in common?

A They both make you stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride ;D ;D ;D

TWO MINUTES ????

Do you take less time before you put the kettle on?   ;D ;D ;D ;D


That depends ;D ;D ;D
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Brian T

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Re: joke
« Reply #10 on: 10 July 2008, 17:54:55 »
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss , and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..'

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss , then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.'

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!  :y
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maria

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Re: joke
« Reply #11 on: 10 July 2008, 17:58:21 »
Sex is like maths.

you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs,

Leave the solution- and pray you don't multiply ;D ;D
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maria

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Re: joke
« Reply #12 on: 10 July 2008, 18:00:43 »
Quote
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss , and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..'

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss , then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.'

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!  :y


brilliant ;D ;D ;D
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Mr Skrunts

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Re: joke
« Reply #13 on: 10 July 2008, 18:02:05 »
Quote
Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother. 'Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss , and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane..'

At this point Mummy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, lets save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss , then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was away on the rigs.'

Mummy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to just shut up and listen to the whole story before you interrupt!  :y

Excellent.   ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y
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Re: joke
« Reply #14 on: 10 July 2008, 18:02:53 »
Quote
Sex is like maths.

you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs,

Leave the solution- and pray you don't multiply ;D ;D

Good Maths lesson.   ;D ;D :y
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