Letters to the editor but never published...
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying
of heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we
Are living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us.
I wish they'd make their minds up.
John
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says.
Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30.
Colum Hill
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she
was a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal
Mail loose around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to
suggest that I would trust the delivery of my wife to them is
insulting in the extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery.
L Palmer, London
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by
CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock
stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same
place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.
P Boddington, Ringway
It really annoys me to see these suicide bombers blowing up people
as well as themselves. In my day, suicide was done in a more
dignified way, such as slicing your wrists in the bath, or
hanging yourself from a door with a belt.
Paul Mulraney, Belfast
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to reach
the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to
be a correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '
Noel, Leeds
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist
Or both.
Alan Thakray
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist.
They've obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester
Road.
Alan J., London
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on
iris patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on
muslim cleric Abu Hamsa.
Les Barnsley
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his
multi-million selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used
it at my son's football match I was asked to leave the park? Once
again, it's one law for the rich and another for the poor.
Reg Ashcroft, Bradford
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV
in Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is
It just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government know and haven't
Told the poor sods?
John Campbell, e-mail
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey.
What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly
blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once.
Genius.
Mike Woods, e-mail
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection
with the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
Splendid sense of humour.
Chris Scaife, Jesmond
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
Is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
Stan
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Topic: Editors Letters (Read 535 times)