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Author Topic: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.  (Read 2023 times)

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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« on: 13 October 2016, 12:13:39 »
I'm pleased to say that the smoky agricultural lump of scrap has gone. Banished forever. The V40 may return almost 60 MPG on lorry fuel but quite frankly I wouldn't buy one if it covered 1000 miles for each gallon of derv.  :( I know some on here love diesel cars but they just don't do it for me.

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)

In addition, the passenger seat now works in all 18 positions. They have also installed the latest software update for the 8 speed ZF auto which 'appears' to make it marginally more responsive. (Placebo?)

I'm not a big fan of dealers but the car was returned in immaculate condition after a wash and valet. All costs covered by the warranty.


 
« Last Edit: 13 October 2016, 12:15:55 by Doctor Opti »
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Mister Rog

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #1 on: 13 October 2016, 12:36:45 »
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)


TWOC - Trial Without Catheter

A medical process often after a prostate operation ? How's your waterworks  ;)
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Ever Ready

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #2 on: 13 October 2016, 12:44:48 »
Hopefully the tractor didn't sully your drive by dribbling on it. :)
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #3 on: 13 October 2016, 12:45:03 »
Quote from: Mister Rog on 13 October 2016, 12:36:45
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)


TWOC - Trial Without Catheter

A medical process often after a prostate operation ? How's your waterworks  ;)

For expert opinion you will need to speak with STMO. :) :P :P
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STEMO

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #4 on: 13 October 2016, 13:03:39 »
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:45:03
Quote from: Mister Rog on 13 October 2016, 12:36:45
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)


TWOC - Trial Without Catheter

A medical process often after a prostate operation ? How's your waterworks  ;)

For expert opinion you will need to speak with STMO. :) :P :P
I'm more of an expert on the other TWOC.  ;D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #5 on: 13 October 2016, 13:37:00 »
Quote from: STEMO on 13 October 2016, 13:03:39
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:45:03
Quote from: Mister Rog on 13 October 2016, 12:36:45
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)


TWOC - Trial Without Catheter

A medical process often after a prostate operation ? How's your waterworks  ;)

For expert opinion you will need to speak with STMO. :) :P :P
I'm more of an expert on the other TWOC.  ;D

As a  proud scouser I would expect nothing less. ::) ::) ;)
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biggriffin

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #6 on: 13 October 2016, 15:39:06 »
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39
I'm pleased to say that the smoky agricultural lump of scrap has gone. Banished forever. The V40 may return almost 60 MPG on lorry fuel but quite frankly I wouldn't buy one if it covered 1000 miles for each gallon of derv.  :( I know some on here love diesel cars but they just don't do it for me.

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)

In addition, the passenger seat now works in all 18 positions . They have also installed the latest software update for the 8 speed ZF auto which 'appears' to make it marginally more responsive. (Placebo?)

I'm not a big fan of dealers but the car was returned in immaculate condition after a wash and valet. All costs covered by the warranty.

Is that how many the Sil, knows from the karma sutra.
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #7 on: 13 October 2016, 16:14:51 »
Quote from: biggriffin on 13 October 2016, 15:39:06
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39
I'm pleased to say that the smoky agricultural lump of scrap has gone. Banished forever. The V40 may return almost 60 MPG on lorry fuel but quite frankly I wouldn't buy one if it covered 1000 miles for each gallon of derv.  :( I know some on here love diesel cars but they just don't do it for me.

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)

In addition, the passenger seat now works in all 18 positions . They have also installed the latest software update for the 8 speed ZF auto which 'appears' to make it marginally more responsive. (Placebo?)

I'm not a big fan of dealers but the car was returned in immaculate condition after a wash and valet. All costs covered by the warranty.

Is that how many the Sil, knows from the karma sutra.

I took her out and floored it.

Her head dropped and she whispered "God, oh my God". I imagined her whispering those very same words while laying beneath me.
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STEMO

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #8 on: 13 October 2016, 16:17:18 »
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 16:14:51
Quote from: biggriffin on 13 October 2016, 15:39:06
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39
I'm pleased to say that the smoky agricultural lump of scrap has gone. Banished forever. The V40 may return almost 60 MPG on lorry fuel but quite frankly I wouldn't buy one if it covered 1000 miles for each gallon of derv.  :( I know some on here love diesel cars but they just don't do it for me.

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)

In addition, the passenger seat now works in all 18 positions . They have also installed the latest software update for the 8 speed ZF auto which 'appears' to make it marginally more responsive. (Placebo?)

I'm not a big fan of dealers but the car was returned in immaculate condition after a wash and valet. All costs covered by the warranty.

Is that how many the Sil, knows from the karma sutra.

I took her out and floored it.

Her head dropped and she whispered "God, oh my God, it's tiny". I imagined her whispering those very same words while laying beneath me.
They are quite cramped, those sporty jags.
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Volvo gone....Jag makes a return.
« Reply #9 on: 13 October 2016, 17:50:20 »
Quote from: STEMO on 13 October 2016, 16:17:18
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 16:14:51
Quote from: biggriffin on 13 October 2016, 15:39:06
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 13 October 2016, 12:13:39
I'm pleased to say that the smoky agricultural lump of scrap has gone. Banished forever. The V40 may return almost 60 MPG on lorry fuel but quite frankly I wouldn't buy one if it covered 1000 miles for each gallon of derv.  :( I know some on here love diesel cars but they just don't do it for me.

Anyway.... back to the Jag.The central locking has now been fixed. It is embarrassing when the alarm sounds every time I open the door. People must think I'm TWOC.( Road Wars fans will recognise this  acronym)

In addition, the passenger seat now works in all 18 positions . They have also installed the latest software update for the 8 speed ZF auto which 'appears' to make it marginally more responsive. (Placebo?)

I'm not a big fan of dealers but the car was returned in immaculate condition after a wash and valet. All costs covered by the warranty.

Is that how many the Sil, knows from the karma sutra.

I took her out and floored it.

Her head dropped and she whispered "God, oh my God, it's tiny". I imagined her whispering those very same words while laying beneath me.
They are quite cramped, those sporty jags.

Perhaps she was refering to my intellect and not the size of my knob. Sounds just as bad. ;D
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