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Author Topic: Forget Indian call centres.  (Read 4169 times)

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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Forget Indian call centres.
« on: 26 November 2016, 12:20:28 »
I had a need to contact NS and I in Glasgow.

A twenty minute conversation left me scratching my head because I caught about one word in every ten. :-\

A soft Scottish lowland burr can be quite relaxing especially when delivered by (what I imagine to be) a sexy slinky girl.

The Glaswegian accent is different, and quite scary when delivered in 'see you jimmy' fifteen pints of 12% skullcrusher lager mode'  ::)

 
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Terbs

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #1 on: 26 November 2016, 13:17:42 »
That's why I never phone Sky TV....can't understand a word. Very embarrassing. So I use online chat :y
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Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #2 on: 26 November 2016, 13:20:32 »
I imagine the conversation went something like this....

Lord Opti:  Hello, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 please.

Call Centre: You wan'te fight?

Lord Opti: No, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 from my account please?

Call Centre: Ah'l give ye a punch in yer wee English gob is wha ah'l give ye!

Lord Opti: Ooo you are sexy!  What colour undies are you wearing?!

Call Centre: Ah, Ye jes wan a wee Glasgee kiss!  Is tha right hen?

Lord Opti: Well that would be nice but I'm afraid my Sister in Law might get jealous and my Wife would get violent!

Call Centre: Well wha do you want then?

Lord Opti: £100,000?

Call Centre: Weel why did ya no say so?  Scottish notes OK M'lud?



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Andy B

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #3 on: 26 November 2016, 13:40:26 »
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2boxerdogs

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #4 on: 26 November 2016, 14:09:10 »
Know exactly how you feel Opti, we are with Scottish Power for gas & electric hate having to talk with them , can't understand a word.
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #5 on: 26 November 2016, 14:25:21 »
Quote from: Sir Tigger QC on 26 November 2016, 13:20:32
I imagine the conversation went something like this....

Lord Opti:  Hello, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 please.

Call Centre: You wan'te fight?

Lord Opti: No, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 from my account please?

Call Centre: Ah'l give ye a punch in yer wee English gob is wha ah'l give ye!

Lord Opti: Ooo you are sexy!  What colour undies are you wearing?!

Call Centre: Ah, Ye jes wan a wee Glasgee kiss!  Is tha right hen?

Lord Opti: Well that would be nice but I'm afraid my Sister in Law might get jealous and my Wife would get violent!

Call Centre: Well wha do you want then?

Lord Opti: £100,000?

Call Centre: Weel why did ya no say so?  Scottish notes OK M'lud?

Absolutely spot on, Sir Tig. ;D ;D ;D

You clearly know the lady in question. An old f*ck buddy perhaps? ;)
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Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #6 on: 26 November 2016, 18:30:59 »
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 26 November 2016, 14:25:21
Quote from: Sir Tigger QC on 26 November 2016, 13:20:32
I imagine the conversation went something like this....

Lord Opti:  Hello, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 please.

Call Centre: You wan'te fight?

Lord Opti: No, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 from my account please?

Call Centre: Ah'l give ye a punch in yer wee English gob is wha ah'l give ye!

Lord Opti: Ooo you are sexy!  What colour undies are you wearing?!

Call Centre: Ah, Ye jes wan a wee Glasgee kiss!  Is tha right hen?

Lord Opti: Well that would be nice but I'm afraid my Sister in Law might get jealous and my Wife would get violent!

Call Centre: Well wha do you want then?

Lord Opti: £100,000?

Call Centre: Weel why did ya no say so?  Scottish notes OK M'lud?

Absolutely spot on, Sir Tig. ;D ;D ;D

You clearly know the lady in question. An old f*ck buddy perhaps? ;)

'Fraid not M'lud.  Weegie women are pretty scary!  :-X

My mate's Mum is from there and when ever I see her she glares at me a goes "ALREET SON?"  My mate assures me that this means she likes me.  :-\  ::)  ;D
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Rods2

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #7 on: 26 November 2016, 20:58:06 »
Quote from: Sir Tigger QC on 26 November 2016, 13:20:32
I imagine the conversation went something like this....

Lord Opti:  Hello, I'd like to withdraw £100,000,000 please.

Call Centre: You wan'te fight?

Lord Opti: No, I'd like to withdraw £100,000,000 from my account please?

Call Centre: Ah'l give ye a punch in yer wee English gob is wha ah'l give ye!

Lord Opti: Ooo you are sexy!  What colour undies are you wearing?!

Call Centre: Ah, Ye jes wan a wee Glasgee kiss!  Is tha right hen?

Lord Opti: Well that would be nice but I'm afraid my Sister in Law might get jealous and my Wife would get violent!

Call Centre: Well wha do you want then?

Lord Opti: £100,000,000?

Call Centre: Weel why did ya no say so?  Scottish notes OK M'lud?

 ;D ;D ;D Fixed
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STEMO

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #8 on: 26 November 2016, 21:11:51 »
There aren't £100,000,000 worth of Scottish notes.
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Doctor Gollum

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #9 on: 27 November 2016, 12:00:01 »
Quote from: STEMO on 26 November 2016, 21:11:51
There aren't £100,000,000 worth of Scottish notes.
There are...

But they're all singles :D
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Field Marshal Dr. Opti

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #10 on: 27 November 2016, 12:07:35 »
Quote from: Sir Tigger QC on 26 November 2016, 18:30:59
Quote from: Doctor Opti on 26 November 2016, 14:25:21
Quote from: Sir Tigger QC on 26 November 2016, 13:20:32
I imagine the conversation went something like this....

Lord Opti:  Hello, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 please.

Call Centre: You wan'te fight?

Lord Opti: No, I'd like to withdraw £100,000 from my account please?

Call Centre: Ah'l give ye a punch in yer wee English gob is wha ah'l give ye!

Lord Opti: Ooo you are sexy!  What colour undies are you wearing?!

Call Centre: Ah, Ye jes wan a wee Glasgee kiss!  Is tha right hen?

Lord Opti: Well that would be nice but I'm afraid my Sister in Law might get jealous and my Wife would get violent!

Call Centre: Well wha do you want then?

Lord Opti: £100,000?

Call Centre: Weel why did ya no say so?  Scottish notes OK M'lud?

Absolutely spot on, Sir Tig. ;D ;D ;D

You clearly know the lady in question. An old f*ck buddy perhaps? ;)

'Fraid not M'lud.  Weegie women are pretty scary!  :-X

My mate's Mum is from there and when ever I see her she glares at me a goes "ALREET SON?"  My mate assures me that this means she likes me.[/highlight]  :-\  ::)  ;D

Nah.....this means she is just about to rip you a new arsehole. :)
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Rods2

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #11 on: 27 November 2016, 14:59:43 »
Quote from: STEMO on 26 November 2016, 21:11:51
There aren't £100,000,000 worth of Scottish notes.

I think RBS and BOS are used to handling such amounts...... ::) ::) ::)

Normally as IOUs to us taxpayers. :o :o :o
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Sir Tigger KC

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #12 on: 27 November 2016, 17:23:54 »
Quote from: Rods2 on 27 November 2016, 14:59:43
Quote from: STEMO on 26 November 2016, 21:11:51
There aren't £100,000,000 worth of Scottish notes.

I think RBS and BOS are used to handling such amounts...... ::) ::) ::)

Normally as IOUs to us English taxpayers. :o :o :o

Amended for accuracy.  ;)  No offence to the Sweaties on here.  ;D
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Laird of Lochaber

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #13 on: 28 November 2016, 00:40:37 »
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Mister Rog

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Re: Forget Indian call centres.
« Reply #14 on: 28 November 2016, 05:15:23 »

It's not so much accents that get me, it's smart arses who talk at 100mph and don't actually listen. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah, no probs, yep yep . . . . and get things wrong.

Many years ago I was sent on a sales training course, and one aspect of this was about telephone manner. Incredibly useful, not so much in sales but just generally, except when taking a call from " Microsoft technical support" from Mumbai or somewhere when I just shout loudly at 'em  :D.
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