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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

...........this is what you need as an employer if your workers are spending too much time taking a 'comfort break'

[Varche]

Have you ordered a box for "downstairs" at Opti manor?

As an aside what were you searching for when you found that.?

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Have you ordered a box for "downstairs" at Opti manor?

As an aside what were you searching for when you found that.?

Indeed I have, Mr Varche.

 Too late now but this excellent product could have saved British Leyland back in the day.

[Sir Tigger KC]

Have you ordered a box for "downstairs" at Opti manor?

As an aside what were you searching for when you found that.?

Indeed I have, Mr Varche.

 Too late now but this excellent product could have saved British Leyland back in the day.

I'm sure that you are on hand with the soothing baby lotion after the maid has been in the downstairs kazi?   

[Mister Rog]

Nah, Izal paper in boxes is best. You know the stuff that's all shiny so it doesn't actually clean it just spreads it around a bit   

[BazaJT]

And had such sharp edges it'd cut your arse to ribbons too

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

Nah, Izal paper in boxes is best. You know the stuff that's all shiny so it doesn't actually clean it just spreads it around a bit   

There should be a warning on the box......"this product will not work with runny stools".


....consult the Bristol stool chart before use.

[Auto Addict]

To resuse, place in washing machine on a hot wash and full spin.....

[Sir Tigger KC]

My Nan used to keep that Izal stuff in her downstairs loo, but ordinary toilet tissue in the upstairs bathroom. 

I always used to head upstairs to do my business, but often got firmly told to use the downstairs loo as " that's good enough for a little squirt like you! "  

[STEMO]

My Nan used to keep that Izal stuff in her downstairs loo, but ordinary toilet tissue in the upstairs bathroom. 

I always used to head upstairs to do my business, but often got firmly told to use the downstairs loo as " that's good enough for a little squirt like you! "  

You should have informed your Nan that it was the little squirts that were causing the problems with the downstairs toilet paper. 

[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

My Nan used to keep that Izal stuff in her downstairs loo, but ordinary toilet tissue in the upstairs bathroom. 

I always used to head upstairs to do my business, but often got firmly told to use the downstairs loo as " that's good enough for a little squirt like you! "  

You should have informed your Nan that it was the little squirts that were causing the problems with the downstairs toilet paper. 

 Strips of the Daily Mirror on a nail was a luxury when I was a nipper.

I seem to recall wiping my arse on Christine Keeler.

[Sir Tigger KC]

My Nan used to keep that Izal stuff in her downstairs loo, but ordinary toilet tissue in the upstairs bathroom. 

I always used to head upstairs to do my business, but often got firmly told to use the downstairs loo as " that's good enough for a little squirt like you! "  

You should have informed your Nan that it was the little squirts that were causing the problems with the downstairs toilet paper. 

I'd have got a clip round the ear for being cheeky!   

[Mister Rog]

So . . . . moving on

Why is todays "quality" bog roll so thin and have such small sheets. I used to travel to the the USA quite often, and I used at least twice as much arse wipe over there as here. I use Travelodge hotels quite a bit, if they think they are saving money by have such crap bog paper, they're wrong as I use at least twice as much. At least 4 or even 6 sheets to the fold  and yes, this matters. It is of mega importance   

[Sir Tigger KC]

So . . . . moving on

Why is todays "quality" bog roll so thin and have such small sheets. I used to travel to the the USA quite often, and I used at least twice as much arse wipe over there as here. I use Travelodge hotels quite a bit, if they think they are saving money by have such crap bog paper, they're wrong as I use at least twice as much. At least 4 or even 6 sheets to the fold  and yes, this matters. It is of mega importance   

4 to 6 sheets! Are you a large chap Rog?       

[Bigron]

I don't know what he does and I'm not asking, but my son uses almost a whole bog roll at each "sitting" - I'm thinking of imposing a bog roll surcharge! 

Ron.