I met this really kinky girl last night. I asked her to humiliate me ... So she bought me a Tottenham shirt
- What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox
A man was found dead floating in the Thames, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Spurs shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Spurs shirt to save the family embarrassment.
- After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and he said, No way, I ain't that special.
- I was playing Scrabble and had enough letters to make Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. I was gutted when I found out it was only worth two points.
- Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Spurs colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks.
- A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog. The tv announcer says, Stoke City 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1, Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, Oh, no, not again. The shocked landlord says, That's amazing. Why did he say that? Because he's a Spurs supporter. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replies, I don't know. I've only had him six months.
- When a groggy Vedran Corluka regained consciousness in the ambulance leaving the Britannia Stadium on Sunday he asked medical staff who he was. On being told he played football for Tottenham Hotspur he lapsed into a coma
A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. What about your parents asks the social worker. No, they beat me, says the boy. What about your grandparents? says the social worker. No, they beat me even harder, says the boy. Well ... where do you want to stay then? replies the social worker. Tottenham, says the boy.They don't beat anyone.
Haringey council has blocked Tottenham's plans to build a new ground on Northumberland Park. A town hall source said: We don't mind having a funfair there once a year, but a circus every fortnight is a bit much.
sorry if any spuds fans take offence ,me being a gooner i have to laugh 
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Topic: spurs jokes (Read 919 times)