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[razzo]

enough is enough Jay,you are just prolonging the inevitable, whatever you do is gonna be wrong, why give her notice we are a nation of finding homes for those who want to ponce off the state & give nothing in return. Get it sorted before long before Xmas. I assume she has a key & could clean you out as you are working away during the week. Giving her notice is asking for trouble as she can dream up some other excuse why she should not be thrown out & give you the guilt trip. Don't let it wreck Xmas & as for the outlaws the best form of defence is attack
Good luck mate  

[amigov6]

Jay, it does sound to be a difficult situation to be in.
I really don't envy you or your wife at all.
But like already said You and Your family i.e Wife + Children are Paramount, the stress and unwanted pressure wont do any of you any good.
People if given a written notice should be found alternative accomodation. It might be worth you going to the local housing association to see how you actually stand in this. A good friend of mine gave his girlfriend a written letter saying that she had a month (stating a date) before he kicked her out, with that letter she went to the Housing Association and managed to get a flat. Perhaps this would be worth trying once you have done your own homework.
As for other family members moaning complaining how you have treated this foolish disrespectful person, perhaps they should open there door for her, see how long they cope...

Exactly. They sit in judgement......behind closed doors.

[The Red Baron]

As razzo says above, get rid sooner than later.  

[BigAl]

Tomorrow night i have a meeting with father in law, so i will be driving to Portsmouth to 'enlighten' him as to the situation with his beloved daughter, this again is being done on neutral ground.

I would take all  the paperwork for the car and when he mentions the 'lemon' show him the MOT failure detailing the minor points, hopefully he'll see he is being played by the slob.

[BigAl]

Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her

I think this should be plan Z

[Welung666]

Alternatively, when my sis-in-law stayed with us, I shagged her

I think this should be plan Z

It should be after that  

[Vamps]

she's 29 and seems unable to sustain a relationship for any length of time.

Talking to my wife tonight the plan of attack is to go somewhere neutral on Saturday and discuss this like grown adults, i have opted for a public place as it means the chance of a full on hissy fit is slim, but still it could happen.

The one question i will be asking here 'what are your intentions in finding a place to live' from there the conversation will be directed to the point where she is given 3 months to find herself somewhere else to live.

Tomorrow night i have a meeting with father in law, so i will be driving to Portsmouth to 'enlighten' him as to the situation with his beloved daughter, this again is being done on neutral ground.
i will keep you updated  

PS all those who suggested millbay road.....i wouldn't want to lower the tone of the area by putting her there  

Wondered when this would come up, you need to be able to tell him like it is, after all she is his responibility! I know she is 29 but she is his daughter.

Your wife is obviously suffering and therefore this must be rubbing of on your kids.

That side of the family need to know and understand your problems and she has to go, but as has been said I would do it in writing, perhaps through a solicitor. Timing is bad, yes, but ask yourself if Christmas wil be better, with or without her, and you then have your timescales.

Good Luck but she has to go.................

[doog]

dude its your house  so its your rules


tell her to shape up and abide by the rules or she can sleep in a cardboard box  or go and live withthe junkies in the homeless shelter.

My blood is boiling about this and its not even my problem  
take the bull by the horns and tell her straight

Doug

[Vamps]

dude its your house  so its your rules


tell her to shape up and abide by the rules or she can sleep in a cardboard box  or go and live withthe junkies in the homeless shelter.

My blood is boiling about this and its not even my problem  
take the bull by the horns and tell her straight
Doug

Strange that, I got more and more angry reading the thread, think cos we can all relate to the situation one way or another...

[tunnie]

she is 29?  

I thought she was a teenager, chuck her out now!

At that age she must be able to stand on her own two feet!

[SheWhoMustNotBeOUTBID]

I agree with a few of the other comments.  

1)U gave her a time limit and she's over it.  
2) If she's working she should have saved enuf for rent by now
3) If it was absolute hell living in YOUR house, why is she still there?
4) If the car and u were such con's.., how come u got it thru the MOT
5) She's 29, well and truly able to act like an adult and do what most of us do and fend for herself, so why isn't she?  She's decided at some point in  her life to not look after herself.  
6) Like most of us, give her the legally considered acceptable 1 month's notice.., 12th December and get rid of her by Xmas.  If she won't go.., call police.., she hopefully will see sense and make a choice but if she doesn't.., that's her problem and CHOICE not yours.

Tell the relatives if they think its unfair, they should offer her a home.  Get up and walk out of the neutral meeting place.  If they hassle u, they aren't worth it.  Don't make it a discussion.., its not and shouldn't be.

(Been there, put a friend of a friend up, charged no rent and he disappeared along with everything of value i owned quite literally after I complained when I asked him to do the washing up (I was working, he wasn't and didn't pay for food or anything at all.., so I learned to toughen up - oh and make sure u change the door locks).  

The only people u owe anything to is your own family and yourself.

[LJay]

Some advice that was given to me some years ago...

You married your wife not her family!

You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!

You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.

Good luck.

[Marks DTM Calib]

Some advice that was given to me some years ago...

You married your wife not her family!

You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!

You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.

Good luck.

Do you know how to change locks then?

[LJay]

Some advice that was given to me some years ago...

You married your wife not her family!

You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!

You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.

Good luck.

Do you know how to change locks then?

Oh yes! never know when you need that particular skill!

[Kevin Wood]

Some advice that was given to me some years ago...

You married your wife not her family!

You can't please everyone all of the time so you may as well please yourself!

You're much more tolerant than me, she would have come home to find her things in the road and the locks changed, if it was me.

Good luck.

Do you know how to change locks then?

Oh yes! never know when you need that particular skill!

Does that include central locking solenoids cos I've got one here that needs doing...

As said, you can't let her ruin your family's life. She has decided to live off the back of your kindness rather than get off her @rse and make something of her life, and the longer it continues the more she'll think she's entitled to do so.

Kevin