I want to see the 6 malcontents whom voted 'cliquey'; named and shamed! 

8 now. I am one.
This place can
feel clquey for a noob, precisely because there is a core of people who came from a previous forum and outside them another layer of people who have met up (Lakes, Newent etc).
But the analogy of a local pub is a good one. If you want to sit up at the bar with the locals, you need to make an effort. It won't happen by looking on thinking "bloody hell it's cliquey".
With any bunch of people, there will always be in-jokes etc that doesn't help. But that's natural and shouldn't be changed.
Lastly, writing style.
I am an engineer and a lot of my communication is written. As a result, my style can cause something perfectly balanced and reasonable in my mind to be typed and posted - only to come accross as curt and sometimes aggressive. The reaction to it comes as a shock in those cases and back pedalling results.