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[platty]

Very, very random.... http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140318922902&viewitem=&salenotsupported

Q&A is brilliant though!

Unashamedly stolen from ABS  

[Lazydocker]

That's very funny  

[crazyjoetavola]

  Very original

[largecol]

HA HA! PMSL!  

[Ian_D]

PMSL  

Thats made my day that has!


 

[Omega man 2]

rather brilliant

[Kieran]

Funny

[Macduff]

ecellent wheeze

[Proz]

 

[Jimbob]

Superb!

[Allenm]

I wonder if this questions originated from an OOFer?  

Q:  Hi, I own a 1999 Mk2 Mazda MX-5, and am interested in adding some of your vegetable based performance enhancements. Can you absolutely guarantee that the addition of a twin carrot and stick system will stop people calling me a big shandy drinking girly poofter? And would I be able to return it for a full refund (less postage, of course) if my vehicle is still referred to as "a hairdresser's car" by any male over the age of 12, even after the massive power increases? Best regards, Waveydavey 08-May-09

A:   Im afraid no amount of tuning can help you in the case of the mx5. Wether the 1.6 or the 1.8 it really makes no difference. we can however supply leek wrist supports for the driver to stop the floppyness. many thanks

[HolyCount]

Uh - huh ... got my bid in  

[Marks DTM Calib]

So nobody on here has been posting questions then?

Q:  I currently own a white Escort Cabriolet which I think is the bees knees (but I am from Stoke!). I am trying to get the maximum mileage out of it before it finally rots away into a small pile of dust and hence I wish to make it go as fast as possible for as long as possible. Will these modifications allow me to achieve my requirements? Do you have any vegetable products that might help with the factory fitted terminal rust problem? 08-May-09
A:   All i can suggest is you try dipping a long petrol soaked rag into the fuel filler and light the end. This should sort all your woes. regards

[Pete Elite]

I don't think this would be very good for the humble pedestrian, i mean imagine being hit by a speeding carrot or going face first into a Chav propelled parsnip oh it hardly bares thinking about .

  And what about the rights of the lowly vegetable, and i don't mean the one behind the steering wheel .

[Omega man 2]

Here's they reply I got when I asked what would be best to make an omega beat an mx-5 in a drag race.

"Firstly i would probably go for a 3ltr 24v dual ram engine conversion from a higher spec vauxhall (omega carlton aor senator) then really all it needs is a single carrot and a picture of elton john. You fit the carrot on the bonnet and the picture of elton you leave on the start line. the carot give you the serious performance you nee to win and the picture distracts the gay hairdresser long enough for you to get a clean start.
best of luck.
allyrs"